Painful Trials
by DeathMeister23
Summary: To get to something you want, there are trials you must overcome. There are things you must do to get the things you want. This is what 'They' go through. Can they make it?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- Things Take A Turn for the Worst

**Hi =D. Sorry. My last story I tried out didn't work out so well! It kinda went to hell... I didn't know where to go with it... If you still wanna read/have me continue it let me know! I'll be willing to try it out for my readers! Anyway, here's a new story that I've come up with. Its Yaoi so if you don't like, then don't read. **

**Disclaimer- I don't own anything. If I did... well things would be a lot different =D. Enjoy.**

The rain pounded hard against the ground as Kanda glanced around. Surrounding him were four level two akuma. Not that he wouldn't handle them, take them down and free their souls from the dwelling hell. It's because he couldn't that he stay stationed in his position, waiting for them to come at him. Behind him was the finder that was assigned to him. That finder had the Innocence that Kanda and him were seeking. He was working on getting his barrier fixed.

Kanda swung Mugen back and forth as the akuma began to fire relentlessly at him and his finder. "Hurry the hell up!" he urged. "I'm almost done master Kanda," the finder replied while snapping the cover back into place. He turned it on and used the barrier to hold the Innocence, so that way, if he were to die, Kanda could take it back to the order. "It's about damn time!" Kanda yelled as he activated his Innocence. He jumped at the akuma and swung down, slicing the tortured soul in half.

"Die you damned akuma!" was all the finder could hear over the basing thunder. As the lightning struck he heard and barely saw some explosions in the distance. "He's finished off the akuma," he declared out loud. "Lets go," Kanda muttered walking past the finder and sheathing Mugen. "Yes master Kanda," he uttered grabbing the Innocence and following after the samurai exorcist. "It's safe right? The Innocence?" Kanda asked after a while of walking through the woods.

"Yes master Kanda, I used the barrier to keep it locked away from the akuma just like you instructed before we were thrown into the situation," he replied. Kanda nodded and grunted to let the finder know that he heard. Soon afterwards they came upon the entrance of a large town, but the streets were empty and the gates open. "Do you think something happened here?" the finder asked. "I doubt it, the people probably just took off cuz of the weather. Lets find a place to stay here for the night."

"Right, I'll go on ahead and see if any Inn's or Hotel's are open, why don't you stay here and rest for a bit?" he suggested. Kanda nodded slowly and walked underneath the balcony of an apartment, where the rain didn't pound. The finder took off and Kanda lost sight of him after several moments. "Got dammit," Kanda cursed as he tugged his exorcist jacket off. "Damn rain..." After he removed his jacket he wrung it out, trying to get as much water out as possible.

A bit later the finder returned. "I found an Inn that we can stay in for the night." Kanda nodded and pushed off the wall from his leaning position. Sliding his coat back on he followed the finder with no words. Kanda glanced around and saw various shopping stores. Cooking utensils, house decorations, a grocery market, a haircutting business, shoe cleaning, bag making, custom made dolls and doll repair and even a book store. Kanda wasn't interested in any of those, so he turned his head to the front.

As he did so the finder made an abrupt stop and Kanda almost slammed into him. "We're here," was all he said as he opened the door and led Kanda inside. The waiting room was average. Squared off with two couches on opposite sides of the wall, a small coffee table in front of them, the main desk set in-between two pairs of stairs leading upwards. To the left of the main desk there was a coffee pot with some foam cups, napkins, and stir straws.

Kanda averted his eyes to the skimpy man behind the desk. He was short with an overlarge shirt thrown over his petite frame. His over-alls were a bit loose on his body and Kanda could see the wholes in his shirt. His was bald on top of his head with only the sides of his head having hair. Along with that a toothpick stuck out of his mouth and he watched as the man adjusted his glasses. "Can I help you sir?" Kanda nodded. "I need two rooms, one bed."

The man opened his book and scanned through. "Alright, we can fit you in. That'll b-" Kanda cut him off,"Just send it to the Black Order." The man nodded in understanding and gave Kanda two keys. He turned to the finder and dropped one of the keys in his hand while walking towards the stairs. "Thank you master Kanda,"he uttered whilst bowing. Kanda grunted in response knowing that was all that was needed for the finder to understand.

Walking down the hall and searching for his room Kanda noticed how fairly well-kept this place was. Soon after he found his room he slide the key into the door and opened it. He slipped inside and shut the door behind him with his foot pushing back against it. Looking around the samurai pulled his hair tie from his hair and felt as the long locks of hair fell around him. He walked into the bathroom grabbing a towel on the rack next to the shower.

Before he used it he inspected it, not trusting the hotels and their usually dirty nature. After he deemed it clean he began to dry his hair. He slipped off his jacket, shirt, pants, and shoes before throwing on his spare kimono that he brought along with him. It wasn't for relaxation, it was because Kanda knew it would be raining. After changing he walked to his bed with the towel thrown lazily over his head.

He threw himself on the bed feeling more at ease and closed his eyes. He propped Mugen up against the wall and lay back, calming himself and taking deep breathes. In the morning he and the finder would be taking the first train that left for Europe. As much as he despised it he couldn't wait to be at the Order again.

He thought of Komui. The stupid director of the Black Order, with his loud mouth, stupid creations, and his sister complex. He thought of Lenalee. Komui's sister, talked often, girly, and happy, and still she fought like a true exorcist. He thought of Lavi. The loudest idiot of all, him and his dumb remarks, his obvious red hair, and his stupid hammer. Sometimes Kanda wished he could shove it in Lavi's mouth just to get him to shut the hell up. Then he thought of Moyashii. The short, white head, cursed, joyful, heavy duty eating, exorcist.

"If he keeps eating like that he's gonna end up as fat as the Earl..." he thought out loud. Closing his eyes Kanda drowned out all sounds and listened as the rain hit the window, how the thunder based and convulsed with a great force, how the lightning flashed and whipped across the darkened sky, creating the storm.

Kanda awoke with a start and he instinctively grabbed for Mugen beside his bed. Instead of grabbing for Mugen like he planned he was suddenly pushed back against the bed and something hard smashed against his forehead. He gazed up with a slightly blurry gaze to meet the eyes of... His eye twitched in annoyance. "Get the fuck off of me!" he yelled not caring if anyone so much as heard. "Someone's grumpy, the voice said with a slight laugh."

"Lavi I swear to Kami if you don't get off of me I will stab your good eye out!" Lavi sat back with a laugh as he straightened himself so his dangling legs weren't at an akward position. "Why the hell did you head butt me you asshole!" Kanda yelled enraged. "Well, I called for ya a couple times Yu, but Yu ignored me, so i head butted you." Kanda growled low in his throat and Lavi raised his hands in a 'I-give-up' manner. "Where's Mugen?" he growled.

"Chill Yu! He's fine!" Kanda glared.

"That's not what I asked baka usagi!"

"I know."

"What the hell did you do with my sword?"

"Why do you wan' it?"

"So I can kill you with it," Kanda said lowly.

Lavi laughed lightly. "You're so cranky in the morning Yu!" Kanda shut his eyes and heaved a sigh while rubbing his temples. "Why are you here?" he asked calmly. Lavi shifted on the bed,"Well, it turns out I had a mission here, I was just waiting for Komui to give me the go-heads to go back. Then I heard from him that you were here and asked where. The finder told Komui, who told me, and I came here to find you sleeping!"

Kanda nodded with some understanding. "Yeah, had a rough time last night," he admitted. "Everyone does once in a while Yu. Anyway I say we head back." Kanda nodded roughly and looked around. "Where's my finder?" he asked impatiently. Lavi suppressed a laugh and gestured to the door. Kanda stood glancing around again.

"Mugen?"

"Mah, he's here," Lavi uttered whilst handing Kanda the weapon.

Kanda took the Innocence and glanced around. "Something doesn't feel right..." he muttered to no one. Lavi looked at Kanda with a worried glance as he passed him. He looked back before opening the door and walking out, leaving it ajar so Kanda could follow. Said man looked back at the room, searching the objects, the paintings, the patterns. Something felt different to him. Out of place. He just couldn't place what it was.

He left, closing the door tightly, and walked down the hall listening to the heavy beat of his boots pounding against the old wood on the floor. He glanced down and traced the design of the rug that he had stepped on. Snapping out of his gaze, Kanda lifted his eyes to see the upcoming staircase. Making his way down, he once again searched anything, he lay his eyes on for some kind of sign that there was a disturbance somewhere.

"-u! Yu!"

Kanda shifted his gaze from the picture he had passed to the yelling red-head in the lobby. "What dammit!"

Lavi laughed, once again, and said concerned,"You seem out of it today. Are you alright? Did anything happen last night?"

Kanda huffed angrily and growled,"Yeah, you showed up." He walked past Lavi, leaving the stunned red-head in his dust.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- A Small Change In Plans

**Hi! If you're still reading then that means you like it! Thank you! =D this part of the story kind of has to do with what happens in the chapters. So if you haven't read... at least read the chapters after episode 103! I don't wanna spoil anything for anyone. **

**Disclaimer- I don't own anything... But I wish I did...**

**Oh, and R&R! Thanks! I don't wanna put it at the bottom for... reasons...**

Kanda pushed the door open and let himself out. The cold, windy, rain fell against him, soaking into his jacket, and hair like a sponge. Glancing around he tied Mugen to his waist, and naturally placed his hand on Mugens hilt.

Lavi ran up beside him, using his hand to shield his eyes from the rain. "That was colder than usual Yu!" Kanda shrugged him off and took a left walking past a few buildings. He looked down the dark alleys, squinting so he could see. Nothing. Darkness consumed the alley ways and Kanda felt an uncomfortable presence lingering there.

He glanced back, and noticed Lavi wasn't there. His finder walked up,"Master Kanda, Master Komui just informed me that if we stay a little longer then we should be meeting up with Master Lavi." Kanda blinked and shook his head. "That's impossible! I just saw the damn rabbit! He came out with me!" he shouted furiously.

The finder look confused and a bit astounded. "Master Kanda, I watched you come out. You were alone up until now, when I met with you." Kanda shook his head placing his hands on the sides of his head. _But how! When I woke up, Mugen was gone. Lavi was there! The pain I felt from his head butt was real! Him handing me Mugen was real! There's no way that __wasn't__ real!_ he thought.

Frustrated and confused Kanda followed the finder to the train stop. There he sat under the rain-shielding part of the building. The benches were dry and a few people gathered around the small fire that had been lit in a trash can. It looked...ghetto. But it was a source of warmth, and Kanda wasn't going to complain. His finder had joined them as well, keeping his hands warm. While he did that Kanda could keep an eye out for akuma, and watch over the finder, who had the Innocence.

Kanda closed his eyes. He listened to the snapping of the fire. The pounding rain beating against the concrete floor. The shuffle of clothes from the people around him. He listened to the trees sway and dance as the wind urged them to join the duet. He felt the shade cascade around him, and welcomed the coldness of it. He felt the hard polish of the bench he sat on.

Opening his eyes he checked on his finder. He was there, sitting by the fire with his hands raised to warm them. Some of the people, he noticed, had left. Either because their train had come, or they realized it wasn't going to come. He glanced to the left as he heard the horn of an on-coming train.

"Finder!" he called.

The finder turned to him, and got up going over to Kanda as he gestured. "Yes?" Kanda turned to look at him. "When is our train coming?" The finder reached in his pocket and pulled out a schedule. "It says our train should have come by three hours ago. Other trains have passed but they have different routes."

Kanda nodded,"Our train must be having some kind of problem. We'll stay here for another hour. If it's a no show then we'll head back to the hotel, if it comes. Well you know." The finder nodded and returned the schedule to his pocket. He gave Kanda a slight bow and turned on his heal, sitting close to the fire like before.

Once again Kanda closed his eyes. This time he wasn't going to be aware of his surroundings. He blocked out everything, the cold, harsh wind. The flash of lightning and the boom of the thunder. The slap of rain hitting the ground, the windows, the train tracks, anything it could.

Taking a deep breathe he straightened his posture. He sat forward, straightening his spine and squaring his shoulders. He crossed his legs and rested his hands upon his knees forming his meditational hand gesture. To him it seemed as if everything around him stopped. There was complete silence...that is until Kanda heard the voice of his finder, and the hand of him shaking Kanda's shoulder to grab his attention.

He opened his eyes and narrowed them slightly. "What," he asked, pretty frustrated with the fact that his meditation time had been consumed. "Excuse me, Master Kanda, but our train has arrived." Kanda let out a sigh and unfolded himself from his relaxed position. He grabbed his belongings and asked the finder about the condition of the Innocence. Everything checked out nicely.

The two of them boarded the train and Kanda was led to his reserved room from the Black Order. The finder sat outside leaning against the wall. Inside the room Kanda lay Mugen on the seat and crossed one leg over the other. "Why the hell do I feel so tired!" he lay his head back and closed his eyes tightly feeling a small headache coming on.

It seemed like hours had passed, and Kanda wanted to get some sleep, but he just couldn't seem to find a comfortable position. He opened his eyes and looked at the seat in front of him. "Heya Yu!" the red-head said with excitement.

"Lavi?" Kanda asked, still a bit confused.

"The one and only!"

"Why are you here? How...?"

"Whadaya mean? I'm here to go back with you, like Komui wanted. And I don't get watcha mean by how, Yu."

Kanda rubbed his temples. He heard the sound of Lavi's clothes ruffling, the sound of Mugen being moved to the other seat... the sound of Lavi sitting next to him.

When Kanda opened his eyes he was facing Lavi. In his one good eye Kanda saw a lot of things. Determination stood out the most. "Lavi, my finder says you're not here. He says you never were here."

Hurt flashed in Lavi's eyes. "Who do ya believe Yu? A finder? Or me...?"

Kanda was stunned by the question. This was stupid. There was no way this could be Lavi. That stupid idiot wouldn't let something like this get to him.

"You're not Lavi. Who the hell are you and what do you want!" he yelled.

Lavi jumped in surprised. "W-what! It's me Yu! And I only want to be with Y-"

With a swing of his blade, Kanda cut Lavi off. His blade sliced right through, a nice, clean cut. From under Lavi's right arm to the top of his left shoulder. It seemed like smoke. His form stayed but where Kanda cut it was distorted. He cut again and again. "What the fuck are you!" he asked infuriated. With one last decision he pulled Mugen back and stabbed the blade right through the heart of whatever this was.

It faded away. Kanda stood there, in the middle of his train room. His hair was disheveled, his breathing ragged and he was confused. "It wasn't Lavi...just like the finder said. But if it wasn't him... then what was it?"

He brushed it aside as tired-ness...for the moment. Sheathing Mugen he walked calmly over to the door and slid it open. Glancing around it seemed as if no one was on the train. His finder was gone and so were the trains passengers. "Hello? Finder? Anybody?" Kanda left his room and walked down that section of the train. Everything seemed in order, just like it had been when he came in.

The only thing missing is the passengers.

He walked back into his room and slid the door shut behind him. Opening it again he found everything to be the way it was before. Passengers and everything. "What the hell...?"

His finder glanced up at him from reading a book. "Something wrong Master Kanda?"

Said man shook his head and grunted. "Does anything seem...strange to you?" he questioned. The finder looked back at his book and glanced around. "No, everything seems fine."

With a nod Kanda retreated back into his train room. Before Kanda could take his seat, the train was thrashed around, jolted to a stop and tumbled over on its side. "W-what the hell!" Kanda yelled. After the train had come to a stop Kanda adjusted his-self. He looked around for his Innocence. There was a blast above him and whatever part of the train that was, it was blown away.

Kanda covered his head to protect himself from shrapnel and other various things that could hurt him. He opened his eyes to be greeted by a large cloud of dust. By instinct he turned around at the sound of approaching footsteps. Before him stood a Noah. Road Kamelot.

"Hello there exorcist. How was your time with Lavi?"

"It was you!"

"You're right. But I had some help. Right Tyki?"

Kanda's eyes widened. But before he could react he was thrown down to the floor and a thick long needle penetrated his neck. "Ahh!"

Before he knew it the needle was pulled out and he felt dizzy. His vision blurred and Tyki's shoes came into view as he stepped over Kanda. "How's it feel? You numb yet?" Kanda couldn't respond.

As his eyelids grew heavy, and they began to shut, his last thought was... _is this it..._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Save Me

**Yo! You have reached Chapter 3! I'm actually proud of myself that I've gotten this far. I've actually taken an interest in what's gonna happen. I bet you're all wondering what it is I've don't to Kanda. Well don't hate me now, there will be plenty of times ahead for that. Anyway enjoy!**

_**P.S.- If you haven't read the Mystery Kanda Arc yet then I suggest you don't read this! **_

**Disclaimer- Do I even need to say it? I don't own squat...**

Loud running water. That's what he heard. Voices. They were distorted and he couldn't make out what they were saying. He tried to open his eys, but he felt so weak and it was difficult. He let it be. It was better to conserve his strength for whatever it was that was coming.

More distorted voices. More yelling. _I don't understand what you're saying! I can't hear or see anything! _

Truth be told he was pretty irritated. _What the hell happened to me? _He tried to think. _There was the mission, the village, the train station, the train ride... the train ride! Tyki and Road are here somewhere! They injected me with something! But wha-_ He felt his body lifted and he felt better.

He could hear for one. "Master Kanda. Oh my god... What happened? I need to call Master Komui." The finder connected his golem to his phone, and called Komui.

"Hello~ this is Chief Komui of the Black Order~ I'm not in-"

"Chief! We have a problem!" the finder yelled ignoring Komui's poor excuse for voicemail.

"Sigh, what is it?"

"...it's Master Kanda sir... he's..." with this Komui became concerned. "What? Is he alright? What happened?"

"We're boarding a new train now sir. He's unconscious, but I think you should see for yourself what happened."

"Very well. I'll have medical staff on standby, with a ready bed, food service, anything he needs. Bring him home safe."

"As safe as I can Chief."

The finder hung up and dragged Kanda and his luggage into their new train room. Laying Kanda on the seat as best he could, the finder was utterly confused. How had such a thing happened! Why! At least the Innocence was safe.

Within the hour they reached the Order. Nurses were at the ready when they arrived, and they were completely shocked at what happened to Kanda!

Komui rushed up, pushing past his fellow scientists and a few nurses to get a glance at what happened.

"Oh good lord... And you found him... like... _this!_" he asked.

The finder nodded. "We were attacked. By what I'm not sure. The small amount of fires that were there were put out, a few people were injured. I was mostly worried about the where-abouts of Master Kanda. I found Mugen a couple yards away, sticking out of a tree. But when I found him, I was at a loss for words."

Komui nodded in understanding. He glanced at Kanda as the shocked nurses rolled him away on a gurney.

"I'm kind of scared about what he'll do when he wakes up..." Komui muttered to no one.

Hours passed and Kanda still remained asleep. The nurses were becoming worried, but then he opened his eyes.

"Alright Kanda. I need to do a check up on you. Follow my finger with just your eyes alright?"

He nodded and complied, watching her finger with his eyes as she crossed from left to right, and up to down. After running a few more tests she concluded that his vital signs were normal.

"Alright. Almost everything about you is normal!"

"...almost?" he asked. The nurse nodded and turned on her heal leaving him alone. "What does she mean by...almost?"

The door to his room opened and Kanda looked. Coming in were Lavi, Allen, Lenalee, and Marie.

"What ar you guys doing here!" he shouted.

Lavi laughed and said happily,"We came to visit Yu!" Kanda glared but then thought back about what happened at the Inn, and in the train car. "Lavi yo-" he stopped himself. They would think he's crazy if he told them that...right?

"I what?"

"Betsunii..."

"Ah alright, neh Yu, ya hungry?"

"No I'-" Kanda noticed they were all staring at him. They all looked like they were trying to hold in their laughter.

"What are you guys laughing for!"

None of them answered. They turned away and let out small fits of laughter. Kanda pushed aside his blankets. "What!"

Once again they ignored him. He got up, closing his eyes tightly, he strode over to the sounds of their voices.

"What dammit! Why are you laughing!" Kanda opened his eyes to find...

Lavi's waist was eye level with Kanda. He glanced up. "What the..." His eyes widened in realization. He looked down at his body. It was smaller, more lean and thin.

He was a child.

His heart beat accelerated and memories from the time he was back in the Asian Branch flooded his mind. Him and Alma. The testing and experiments they went through. The way their bones would break, pop out of place, splinter and cut through skin. The way their blood would flow out. The way it sounded as he screamed from the intense pain that coursed throughout his body. The way they tried to force the Innocence to synchronize with his body.

He felt everything at once. It all slammed into him like a hard wave on a stormy night in the middle of the ocean. It was too much for him to handle.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and his eyes shut soon after. His knees gave out and his body went limp as he fell to the floor.

His visitors stopped their laughter and shouted in frightened tones.

"Yu!"

"Kanda-kun!" Allen, Marie, and Lenalee shouted in unison.

Lavi, Allen, and Marie ran to his side as Lenalee ran out of the room calling for a nurse.

Lavi slid his arms under Kanda's knees and behind his head and lifted him up slightly. He sat back on his knees and let Kanda rest against him.

"Yu!"

Lenalee sank to her knees in front of Lavi and held Kanda's now small hand in hers.

Even Allen seemed worried.

"What happened!" he asked hysterically. "How am I supposed to know! Do I look like a doctor to you!" Lavi answered coldly.

"Ah..."

"S-sorry Allen, I'm just worried..."

Allen nodded in understanding. Soon a nurse ran in asking what happened. "We're not really sure, he got out of bed and seemed just fine, like normal. But the next thing we knew he was falling on the ground," Lenalee explained.

"Right, bring him over to the bed," she ordered. Lavi stood with Kanda still in his arms and walked over to the bed and set him down on it. He pulled the covers over him and the nurse ran some tests on the unconscious boy.

"WIll he be alright?" Marie asked. He hadn't seen any of it. How could he? He was blind after all. But he had heard it. The sound of the blankets rustling as Kanda removed himself from the bed. The soft pit-pat of his bare feet on the marble like floor. But then the footsteps came to a halt. The next thing he heard was the soft whoosh that Kanda gave as he fell to the floor. He heard everyone else panic, and he did the same.

"Yes, he should be just fine, though I'm unaware of what happened to him," the nurse said. Marie nodded and 'looked' around the room. He wasn't listening to anything in particular, but he could hear the faint murmurs of Lavi, Allen, and Lenalee. He could hear the semi-loud beep on Kanda's heart monitor, he could hear the sound of Kanda's normal breathing. And that brought him reassurance.

Soon afterwards the nurse ushered them all out, Lenalee left a bouquet of flowers near Kanda before she was pushed out.

Hours later Kanda shifted in bed. He felt uncomfortable and he closed his eyes more tightly. He relaxed his muscles and opened his eyes softly after a minute or two.

Above him was...someone he didn't expect to see.

"Glad to see you're doing better!" he said,"But I'm afraid that you can't stay here any longer. I have something in mind for you."

"Tyk-" Kanda tried to call out. The only thing that stopped him was the slender hand of Tyki that made its way around his mouth, stopping Kanda from informing anyone that Tyki was here.

No way in _hell_ Kanda was giving in without a fight. He managed to open his mouth and chomp down so hard that he heard a painful snap in Tyki's hand. "Ahhh! You little shit!" Tyki yelled as he let go of Kanda.

Taking the only chance he could get, Kanda threw the blankets over Tyki and jumped off the bed. He made a break for the doorand got out successfully. He slammed the door shut and laughed a bit when he heard the thud of Tyki slam into the door.

"Someone! Lavi! Moyashii! Lenalee!" he yelled. Some of the nurses turned to him and began to head for him to take him back to his room. They stopped when the loud boom of an explosion erupted behind them. Looking back Kanda saw a very pissed off Tyki. _Oh shit_, he thought.

Kanda ran as fast as he could and covered his ears from the loud shouts over the intercom.

"_Attention exorcists and all personal! There has been confirmation of a Noah in the west wing of the Medical Attention Center! Will all personal excluding the exorcists evacuate the area! I repeat evacuate the area! Exorcists will be taking orders from General Tiedoll whom is located near BLock E of the Medical Attention Center! All exorcists within the are please head there immediately!_"

_That's it! General Tiedoll! No matter how much he pisses me off and fondles me I'm sure he'd keep me safe!_

Kanda turned and headed for Block E of the MAC. He looked back and noticed that Tyki was gaining on him, but nurses and doctors were in his way as they attempted to evacuate. Before he knew it a strong pair of arms wrapped around his small waist and lifted him off the ground. He panicked. "Ahhhh!"

"Shhh Kanda, it's me," Marie uttered quietly while hiding.

Kanda covered his mouth. He saw as Tyki ran by without so much as a second glance at them. He looked back at Marie. "Thanks Marie. That's the second time you've saved me."

Marie nodded. "Well you are my little brother Kanda. No matter how much you hate it we're all a big family, and you're the little brother. Big brothers have to protect their siblings Kanda. And besides, you saved me too."

Kanda thought about that. The memories that he pushed into the back of his mind were starting to come to the surface.

-They tried to kill Kanda because he regained his 'original memories.' Whatever their method was, it didn't work. Not for long anyway. Kanda woke up full of anger. Before he knew it he had a piece of Innocence in his hands. Not the one they wanted him to have, but _his own_ Innocence. Angrily he made his way to the door cutting down and walking by without hesitation. And there was Marie, laying there on what looked like an operation table. His head was split open and Kanda walked to him. He soon realized he knew this man. He was the one who pulled the arrow from his back when Alma tried to make him escape. He leaned over Marie and some of his blood ended up spilling into Marie's wound, which healed quickly because of Kanda's ability. They soon were both on their way. Him crawling through the vents, three times smaller than Marie, with said man holding onto him. This only worked because of Kanda's super strength. But then the most tragic part came. When he had to fight Alma. When he had to kill him. It was horrible, but Alma tried to take Kanda with him. He wasn't ready to go, so he struck Alma down. And killed him.-

Kanda shook his head trying to push the thoughts back.

"Kanda I'll be back," Marie whispered while putting Kanda down. He nodded and then remembered that Marie couldn't see so he tapped his hand instead. Marie took note of this and left Kanda to join the fight in stopping the Noah.

Soon things fell silent and curiousity got the better of the young samurai. He peaked his head out and glanced around trying to see what was going on. Nothing. It was completely silent. He stepped out farther and felt a prescence behind him. Before he could turn to see who it was they had grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. He cried out in minor pain.

Opening a tightly closed eye he could make out Lavi and Allen running in his direction with their Innocence ready. So it was Tyki behind him. He tried to stop Tyki, but the man phased through him as Kanda turned around attempting to hit him.

"Night night little samurai,"he chanted as he cleanly hit Kanda in the back of his neck.

Tyki picked the boy up gentely and he heard the faint words that left his mouth before unconciousness over-took him.

"Lavi, save me..."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Code Red and Realization

**Oh my Kami I made a some mistakes in the last chapter! Even after I checked for spelling errors... Eh...**

**Welcome to chapter 4! If you're still reading than thanks a bunch! I have so many things planned for this story! I'm so excited =D**

**Me- Who wants' to do disclaimer!**

**Lavi- Me! Pick me! -raises hand and jumps a bit-**

**Me- Hahahaha Lavi!**

**Lavi- Darxetta owns **_**nothing!**_** But she wishes she did...**

**Me- Did you have to put so much emphasis on nothing... Anyway, enjoy!**

**

* * *

**Lavi watched in despair as Tyki knocked Kanda out. Anger and adrenaline flooded through his veins and he pulled out his hammer. He didn't need to say it out loud to active his Innocence, _big hammer, little hammer, grow, grow, grow! _The once small sized hammer grew about ten fold. The weight didn't change, it wasn't any heavier for him. It was natural that his Innocence fitted him.

He ran at Tyki with anger and adrenaline coursing through his veins. "Tyki!"

The Noah turned and back stepped as Lavi swung down his hammer. "Hahaha, come on exorcist. Is that all you got?"

Lavi switched the position of his hammer, laying it on its side. He stepped forward and swung it in a round-about fashion. The Noah raised an eyebrow out of curiosity and smoothly jumped over the oncoming weapon. Instead of hitting him it slammed into the wall.

Behind Lavi, Allen was poised and taking careful aim at Tyki. He couldn't afford to miss. If he did he would give away his position, and he might hurt Kanda.

Lavi was keeping him busy, and Allen thanked him for that. He took aim again, carefully, and re-calculated anything he might need to. The trajectory, the distance, the time it would take for his bullets to strike the Noah, the fire power he should use.

After the calculations, and picturing the outcome of the fight, Allen fired.

In his mind it played out like this: He had calculated everything perfectly. The bullets from his Innocence hit his target. None of them missing. Tyki cried out in pain and fell to the ground dropping Kanda. Victory was his.

That's not what happened. Tyki seen it coming. He had side-stepped at the last minute and watched as the bullets swiftly past by him, watching as one almost grazed his arm. He laughed in amusement.

"Is that all you got! You mustn't really care for the boy."

Suddenly all of the finders were murmuring.

"He's right... why should we care?"

"Kanda was always an ass."

"He never cared if one of us died. So why should we care about him?"

"Maybe we'd all be happier if the Noah took him."

"We certainly wouldn't be threatened any more."

Allen grew more angry by the second. "SHUT UP!" He turned to look at them. "Kanda's our comrade! How could you say that!"

"Well he never cared about us! Why should we care about him!"

Allen was stunned. But they did have a point. Kanda was always hateful. But that was just how he was and Allen had long ago accepted that.

"So! He protects all of us doesn't he!"

All of the finders began to disagree with him.

"He doesn't care about anyone but himself. That's it."

Instead of the finders trying to help, some of them began to try and restrain the exorcists.

"Take him! We don't want him! Take him!"

Tyki was surprised by this. None of them wanted the boy. No one seemed to care for him. Well then he wouldn't be of much use now would he? But... he grinned slyly. He could always give him to Road... or... keep him for himself.

While chaos ensued around him, Tyki took his chance to get away.

And along with him was the little samurai exorcist. That nobody wanted.

* * *

Kanda woke with a start, sitting up fast and clutching the small hospital gown he wore.

"Where the hell am I!"

There was silence all around him. Looking around he tried to gather his bearings.

The room was empty. The walls were dark, grey, and damp. The concrete floor was covered with dark red footsteps. Somewhere behind him he could hear the _drip drop _of something leaking.

Above him, the single light bulb flickered on and off. The only things in his room, he concluded, were him and the cold, uneven cement table that he lay upon.

As he leaned forward his down cast hair fell from his shoulders and pooled around him.

"Hello...?"

His voice echoed around the room. Looking around more he found a door. His ticket out. Sliding carefully of the table, he landed on the disrupt floor. Pieces of it were torn from its original position.

He stepped over various up-turned cement blocks. The floor was cold on his bare feet. Making it to the door he reached out and grabbed the door handle. He tried to turn it. It turned. The door just wouldn't open.

"There's not a lock... but why won't it open!"

"I made it that way."

Kanda's eyes widen, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Goosebumps became evident on his arms and he felt his heart pace quicken.

Shaking he turned to see the owner of the voice, the one who locked him in here.

"Tyki..."

"Yes. It is I. Tyki Mikk. How can I help you young samurai?"

Kanda glared at Tyki, so fiercely that even the Noah seemed a bit nervous.

"Let me out."

It was a menacing tone that he spoke in. Nothing short of how his usual tone was. This was so much more serious. Tyki could practically feel the rage rolling off of the boy.

"I didn't come here to be your toy Tyki. I didn't want to come. So I'm going to leave now."

"Oh, you think so?" Tyki asked arrogantly.

Kanda ignored Tyki and turned to the door. "Like I said, I'm leaving."

"You're quite a brave boy for standing up to a Noah like this."

Kanda wanted to look at him, kill him. Hurt him. But he couldn't. So instead he tore down the door with his super strenght.

Tyki's eyes twitched. "W-wah! H-how!"

Kanda dropped the door and peered outside. "I was an experiment Tyki. I have no boundaries. You don't scare me, and neither does death."

The Noah's eye's flashed. "Oh is that so..." He stopped the boy in his tracks and grabbed his arm. Before Kanda could utter a complaint Tyki held it out, palm down and snapped his hand down on the elbow.

"Agh!"

The bone snapped. Tyki dropped him and Kanda curled up on the floor holding his now broken limb. "I'm going to torture you. I'm going to break you. I'm going to make you fear everything. Anything... Even death."

* * *

Lavi hated himself. Why did they take Kanda? What is it they wanted with him? It didn't matter. Lavi was going to get him back. No matter what. After the chaos with the finders calmed down, everyone noticed that Tyki had escaped with a hostage.

It pissed him off. How could the finders turn against an exorcist? Sure Kanda may be an ass sometimes. Sure he didn't care about the finders. They always said they hated people like him. But weren't they being like him by thinking like that?

"Whatever, I'll deal with them later."

He left his room and shut the door tightly. Walking down to the cafeteria he passed the samurai's room. He stopped in front of the door, and pondered. _Should I go in...?_ He didn't see why it would matter if he didn't.

Glancing around for prying eyes Lavi stepped up to the door. He opened it and slid inside without so much as a creak of the door. "Geez Yu, it's cold in here."

He observed his surroundings. There wasn't much. A bed to the right side of the room. A night stand on the opposite side. Perched upon the night stand was an hour glass. A strange one. "Why is there a Lotus in this hour glass? Where's the sand?"

The Lotus had lost three petals, which now sat stacked on each other on the bottom half of the vase. The window that was nearby was painted glass, and a corner of it was broken out. Cobwebs were seen a few times in the room.

"He really needs to clean up..."

The red-head sat down on the bed, facing the only way it could, the desk. "How long do you sit here and stare at this thing Yu...? What do you find so fascinating about it?" He heaved a heavy sigh. "Don't worry, I'll come and get you. I'll devise a plan. I'll save you."

* * *

Tyki left the room feeling happy. Sure there was blood on him. Sure he reeked of the smell. It didn't matter. He was the Noah of Pleasure. He had gotten his fill tonight.

"Man, that kid can put up a fight," he groaned whilst checking his wounds. It wasn't anything he couldn't handle. But still. "I didn't expect him to put up that much of a fight... Ah well, It doesn't matter. I'll heal up tonight, and I'll have more fun tomorrow."

* * *

Kanda tried as hard as he could. He tried to pull against the restraints. They were tight on his hands and feet, and he was losing the feeling in them.

He picked his head up and gazed hazily down at his stomach. The shirt was torn open, and his stomach sliced. Blood poured out and he swore he saw some of his organs.

The samurai boy coughed harshly and felt the warmth of his blood spilling from his mouth, down his cheek, and down his neck, pooling on the table.

"Ngh..."

It wasn't as painful as the experiments done to him. But pain is still pain, and it's something that one _never _gets used to.

Suddenly the restrains made a click and unlocked. Kanda pulled his hands out and rolled over onto his side and grabbed his stomach.

"I-it hurts... Lavi... where are you..."

_Why am I...calling for Lavi...? There are plenty of other people who could save me... General Tiedoll...Marie...Daisya...Allen...Lenalee...Miranda...Krory... They could all do it... but... Lavi... he seems the most capable. I've been feeling kind of weird ever since the night in my room. The night that Lavi said he might be in love with someone..._

Groaning, Kanda rolled onto his back. _Is it possible that I like that idiot...? _He shook his head. There was no way in hell that he was gay. And besides, it's not like Lavi would fall for him, Kanda's a guy, and Lavi's into girls. He proves it everytime that Lavi says,"STRIIIIIKE!" when he sees a girl on a mission.

He closed his eyes and waited. The pain was becoming too much, and he couldn't wait until his healing abilities kicked in.

When they did the wounds would close up fast.

* * *

"Listen up you guys. Your next mission is big. One of our exorcists has been taken by the Noah. It's up to you guys to infiltrate the arc, find the hostage, and get out. We have to do this without 'he who shall not be named' finds out. Got it!"

They all nodded. The exorcists: Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee, Noise Marie, Arystar Kryory, Miranda Lotto, and Lavi. They were going on a secret mission. It was to retrieve their missing friend, exorcist, battle buddy.

"Don't worry Kanda. We're coming, and we'll be there soon," Lavi uttered under his breathe.

"Yeah, I agree," Marie added in.

_Damn, I forgot about Marie's great hearing. Sometime's it's so anno- that's it! With Marie's great hearing ability we'll be able to infiltrate quicker! _Lavi thought to himself.

"So, Komui," Allen began,"do we have a name for the mission?"

"No, not a name. But a priority level."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Code red."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Painful Memories

**Oh my god! I had writers block! I knew what was gonna happen next but I didn't really know how to write it! Does that make sense? Anyway I finally found out what I'm gonna make happen! Wanna know? Too bad. You have to read.**

**Kanda- Well aren't you pleasant Darxetta?**

**Me- Kufufufufu, now now Kanda dear, I am the author, I have full control over what happens to you, so I'd watch my mouth if I were you...**

**Kanda- O.o**

**Me- Yeah**

**Lavi- Hey! Don't be mean to Kanda!**

**Me- Who want's to do disclaimer!**

**Lavi- Me!**

**Kanda- No, I do.**

**Me- Ok Kanda, you go**

**Kanda- Darxetta doesn't own anything. And also most of what's happening is from book 20. MAJOR SPOILER ALERT! DON'T READ IF YOU AREN'T CAUGHT UP TO BOOK 20! And sorry for her super late update =/... Enjoy.**

**P.S.- Fanfiction was being stupid and wouldn't let me add any chapter's to my story, none the less even see the damn thing...**

Kanda began to get worried. His stomach healed and he felt a lot better. But that was the problem. He healed, and a lot quicker than anyone else. He didn't want Tyki to figure that out. If he did, who knows what he would do to Kanda.

He lay on his side still craddling his stomach. The blood had dried and it was beginning to smell. He slid off of the table and looked over at the door.

"I gotta get outta here..."

Walking over to the corner he tried to fix his sliced up shirt. He sat hugging his knees to his chest and resting his head on them.

"If Tyki were to find out... things would happen. Horrible things..."

Kanda shuddered thinking about what might happen. Thinking about Tyki torturing him made his mind wander to back when he was experimented on in the Asian Branch. As he closed his eyes, the memories came rushing back.

_Kanda cringed as the experiment had begun. Everything happened so quickly that he only took note of the pain. His arms and legs twisted and contorded, breaking, snapping, splintering. His skin was sliced open in jagged cuts and blood poured out like water pouring out from a faucet. _

_His eyes watered as he screamed out in pain. His body fell limp as his heart stopped, his blood poured out, and his body tore apart. 'Yu!' _

_'It's just the shock. He hasn't fallen. How are his injuries?'_

_'Recovery in 510 seconds. He'll be active in 380 seconds.'_

_'Dr. Epstein!'_

_'Can you hear me, Yu? One more time!'_

_'Do it one more time.'_

_'Syncronize with the Innocence.'_

_Kanda's eyes widened. Again? Are they crazy! 'It's too dangerous Dr. Epstein!'_

_'Dangerous? He hasn't fallen! These are excellent results!'_

_The Crow silently picked Kanda up by his arms and dragged him over to he was supposed to syncronize. Over the intercom he heard one of the scientist mention Alma's name._

'Al...ma? He's...doing this too?'

_The Crow moved him into position and released him. Kanda leaned forward and rested his hands on the side of the figure's arms, which most of the torso was sticking outside of a large container of some sort. It connected with him, running a part of itself through Kanda's body and protruding from his back. _

_Before Kanda 'died' again, he murmered one thing. 'Damn you, Innocence...'_

_Blood splattered on the Crow that was standing near by. His white robe was dirtied from the blood, stained by the amount of it. The robe was tainted. Kanda felt that way too._

_On the floor his body lay in a pool of blood, his bones were contorted and twisted out of shape. His body was a wreck and he was in a major amount of pain._

* * *

'Feh...I can't sleep. Saarinzu's voice is pounding in my head.'

_Kanda walked into the open space, where it was cold and all the other artificial apostles slept in their holes._

_He leaned against one of the pillars in the front of the room. _'This is the quietest place... But it's cold,' _he thought._

_'You guys are sound asleep...in the water,' he uttered out loud._

_His eyes watered and a tear slowly made its way down his cheek. _'Maybe... I should go back and try to sleep.'

'This world is dark.'

'It's terribly hard to breathe.'

'What am I?'_ Things he all thought before it happened. Before he saw..._

_More tears poured down his cheeks as he saw her, walking by the aposltes holes. She glowed radiantly. Kanda pushed himself away from the wall and edged closer, curious about the woman. _'Who is that?'_ he thought._

_Outloud he called out,'Hey! You!'_

_She turned back to him. She smiled. A beautiful smile, but her eyes were hidden, not by shadows, not by her hair. Just covered. Perhaps they were too radiant to see. _

_The next thing he knew he had fallen into one of the apostles holes. He was pulled out by Alma and shivered from the cold._

* * *

_Now he was determined. He had seen her once before, the time when he had a talk with Edgar about how humans were born. He was determined. He was going to figure out who she was, and what she meant to him._

_Kanda stepped forward and the metal plate beneath him shifted. He was surrounded by debris, blood, and the open sky._

_He looked up, blood on his face and his torn up, ragged coat floating about in the wind. What finally appeared to his eyes, was a big blue sky._

_His expression grew saddened. _'I knew it.' _Tears sprung from his eyes and left a trail down his bloodied cheeks. The wind blew and he tightened his grip on the sword he wielded._

'Blue...as far as the eye could see... Even though it was the first time I'd seen it... I knew what it was...'_ he thought._

_He lowered his gaze and more tears poured from his eyes._

_'I'm sorry...' he started quietly._

_He said more loudly,'I'm sorry, Alma.'_

_Looking up at the sky he thought,_'The sky was so pretty...it was hateful. I'd known it all along.'

_His gaze shifted up once again to the sky._

But that was what had happened afterwards. How it came to that point, was something Kanda hated thinking about. He hated the fact that it had happened to him. He hated the fact that he was stuck in this childs body, stuck with the Noah, and stuck in this aweful position that reminded him so much of the past. But now that the memories had begun to come out, resurfaced and taken up a permanent spot in Kanda's mind, he couldn't seem to stop it. So the memory continued. And so did his pain.

* * *

_Opening his eyes they adjusted to find trees in his view. A hand was held upward, as if to block the sun from shining in his eyes._

'?'

'Where am I?'

_Past the hand Kanda could see a women standing in what looked like a field of large flowers. She was in a long dress with her hair tied back and a graceful smile was upon her lips._

_'Before the petals... fall...' she said._

'Her again!' _he thought._

_The hand seemed to get in his way. 'Ki...ka...' she said brokenly._

'What do you want? I can't hear her very well. Get out of the way. Whose... hand is this...'

_Kanda eventually realized that the hand blocking out the sun was not his own. It was someone elses. He was covered in blood. If the hand wasn't his, then who's was it?_

_Kanda sat up quickly, being startled by his nightmare. Panting and hurridly he looked at his hands. They were his. 'Again...'_

_Alma rolled over to face him, he was rubbing his eyes tiredly and mumbled with his morning voice, which was cracked from the lack of use,'You were having nightmares again.'_

_Kanda ignored Alma's comment,'Did I wake you?'_

_'Don't worry about it. It'll be morning soon anyway,' he said with a smile. 'It's a little early, but you wanna go?'_

* * *

_'WHOA! IT'S FREEZING!' They both entered the huge department area, where the other apostles took residence._

_'It's w-w-w-winter!' Alma proclaimed._

_The both of them were shivering violently._

_'Winter? Who's that?' Kanda asked._

_'There's this guy in the outside world called winter. He makes it cold.'_

_'H-h-he must be a real jerk then!' Kanda stuttered, his teeth chattering from the cold._

_'But I won't let him get me down!' Alma yelled suddenly running toward the apostles. 'Good morning, everyone! Good morning!'_

_Alma tripped, his shoes sliding on the slippery ground from the cold and the water from the apostle holes. He fell back and ended up laying on his back with his legs and butt up in the air._

_Kanda leaned forward and held his stomach and laughed so hard that he cried. _

_'WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!'_

_They continued with their daily activity. Alma rushing around and talking to the other apsotles. He would talk to each and everyone of them, calling them by their names and telling stories about what had happened in the previous day._

_Kanda always sat by the pillars and watched Alma._

'From a distance, it looks like he's talking to himself. It's really kinda creepy.

_'Before...the petals fall...'_

_Kanda avterted his eyes to the right to see the woman from before. _

'Her again.'

_'What's she want?'_

_She was the same as always, and just like all the other times before, her eyes were shrouded._

_'What do you want from me!' he yelled furiously._

_Alma jumped slightly from the shock and looked over at him. 'Yu? What's the ma-'_

_Kanda fell to his side, clutching his head painfuly._

_'Yu!'_

_'Before...the petals fall... I will be waiting...forever.'_

_Kanda blacked out. He awoke with a gasp and looked above him with blurry vision. _

_'Hang on, Yu!'_

_His vision cleared and he watched the scientists hovering above him full of concern._

* * *

_'How long has he been having these hallucinations?' the Father asked as he pounded his fist on the table. 'Reni, you were his observer! How'd you miss this?'_

_'I'm sorry, Father. His regenerative power has spread out throughout his body. It is too late to correct it. And we were so close...'_

_'What...did Yu see?'_

_'People and places unknown to him, he says. And they've recently been in his dreams,' another scientist added in._

_'So... it's progressing,' Reni said._

_'Yes...it will affect his mind, his senses...like those children long ago... We've no choice but to suspend experimentation on subject Yu and dispose of him. We'll put him him to sleep.'_

_Alma heard everything. He had taken the out the scientists gaurding the door and was using a stethascope eavesdrop._

_'I'll report this to central... but they won't care.'_

_'Dear god, how many more have to die...for the artificial apostle plan and the holy war?'_

* * *

_An akward looking fish flopped relentlessly on the platter. It's hands tied together with it's horse like head seizing up and down, it's teeth showed in anger._

_The chefs were astonished._

_'Is that a fish?' one of them asked._

_'Never seen the like of it,' another added in._

_'There's no fish like this!' the final chef proclaimed._

_Alma came up to the order area and plopped his hands onto the counter. 'Medication, please!'_

_'Oh, Alma! You alone?'_

_'Yeah...they isolated Yu, so it's just me today.'_

_'Cheer up! I'm sure the doctors will fix him! Oh... You want mayo?'_

_Alma peered past the chef serving him to see another of the chefs holding up the akward fish as it struggled for freedom. 'What's that?'_

_'Um... that's a fish from the outside. It was caught in the canal.'_

_'Oh...'_

* * *

_'It's no use. He fell back into unconsiousness.'_

_'This isn't good.'_

_'He's losing stability.'_

_Kanda was placed upon an experimentation table. He had tubes with suction cups connected to the top of his forehead and a cold sweat ran down his skin. His clothes were removed and he was covered by a blanket._

_One of the scientists sat perched upon the table and held his hand. Another scientist looked back as he heard a Kreek. He saw that the door was open. 'Hey, didn't I lock the door?'_

_Behind him Alma jumped off of another scientists head with a tray in his hands and a dark look on his face. He sprung forward and hit the scientist precoccupied with the door and knocked him out._

_Meanwhile another scientist passed by taking a sip from his cup. He rushed by the glass with an,'OMIGOSH!' escaping his mouth. 'Yu's gone!' On the other side of the glass he could see the experimentation tables empty, and the few scientists in there were out cold._

* * *

_Alma ran as fast as he could, he was holding Kanda in a piggy-back style and rushed through the halls. _

_'You guys...who haven't woken up yet...sorry...and don't worry, I'm not abandoning you. It's just... I couldn't let them dispose of Yu. Yu and I... we finally...finally...became friends!' Alma cried._

_'Sorry...' he cried once again._

Alma, you creep... you're an idiot. We just started talking more, that's all.

_Alma made his way to the canal, the one that the fish was caught in. From out of nowhere arrows struck Alma and Kanda._

_Two through Alma's leg, his foot, and one in Kanda's back. The other seven missed. They both crumbled to the floor and rolled to a stop._

_'Gah!'_

_'Al...' Kanda tried to move and push himself toward Alma._

_Spell binding cards surrounded them both and seperated them. 'Restriction wings,' said a hooded figure as it entered the hall. Behind it two more followed. 'Crows!'_

_The Crows closed their distance little by little. 'You will return now, apostle.'_

_Alma grew angry and mustered up all of his strength. He kicked back._

_Kanda felt a kick to the shoulder and was surprised as he fell off the edge that led to the canal._

_Kanda fell and reached his hand out to Alma. 'Alma!' he yelled._

_'With a little luck, you might get out of here,' Alma muttered weakly._

_'WHATTA YA MEAN "MIGHT"!'_

_'YOU IDIOT!' he yelled out._

_The Crows approached the edge. 'One of them fell into the canal. That one is starting to regain memories of his original form. It won't do for him to come into contact with exorcists.'_

_'You and I will go after him. You take Alma back.'_

_'Yes, sir!'_

_Alma lay on the floor,' unconsious' and out of power._

'Memories...of...his original form?' he thought.

**Asia Branch: North Division**

_Plink plink was heard as someone played a tune on a set of strings. 'Marie!' _

_Said man looked up from his downcast position. 'That voice...'_

_'Bak Chan!'_

_'Ah... Right... Director Bak.'_

_'I got word the relief unit was destroyed. I don't know when the next mission will come in. Please... you have to rest.'_

_Plink plink._

_'I don't need my eyes to play this,' Marie said with a smile. 'If I play using my Innocence, it might reach my comrades in Heaven. It's a requiem. Next time I'll probably die too. I don't mind dying. I've smelled the stench of my dead comrades... dying would be a relief.'_

_'Do you hate us for relying on the apostles?'_

_Bak was distraught._

_'No... I can't see anything anymore.'_

_Marie's strong hearing picked up a sound. 'Did you... hear a child's voice?'_

_'Huh? Just now?'_

_'Yes... like coughing.'_

_Bak looked around not believing Marie._

_A hand slapped down on the ledge that Marie was perched on._

_'Koff! Only that creep... would call this luck!' Kanda uttered darkly as he climbed from out of the canal, right between Marie and Bak._

_'It was so cold... I froze to death. And i'm still not... out of it... yet.'_

_Kanda fell from his upright position and landed on the ground face first. He lay on the ground for a minute, wheezing and gasping. Bak wasn't sure what to do, or rather what was going on. He stood there confused and Marie seemed worried._

_'Hey...pull that out, will ya?' Kanda asked as he reffered to the arrow stuck in his back._

_'Huh? Oh... uh... C-call the medical section!' Bak started and ran off._

_Kanda stopped him, he wrapped his hand around Bak's ankle and made the man fall face first into a hard floor. _

_'I don't need them! If you pull it out, I'll heal.' _

_The seal on the arrow activated._

_'Please...the seal stings...'_

'A crow spell needle!' Bak thought.

_'What did you...?' he began._

_For a while Kanda lay there huffing until Marie pulled him over to him and rested him on his shoulder. He reached around Kanda and pulled the arrow out._

'This...smell...' Kanda thought.

_'Will you be all right now?' Marie asked. Kanda looked up at him. 'What's wrong?' Marie asked. 'You... have we...'_

_'Have we what! Agh! He fell asleep!' Marie yelled. Kanda was out cold, limp in Marie's hold on him. 'Who is this kid!' Bak asked. Behind the trio a Crow approached. 'Give me that child,' he demanded._

That smell... yes... blood... the stench of death...

_'Do you... know this flower? Reaching up to heaven... They're lotus blossoms.'_

_Kanda's scenery had changed. From being with those two men to being back in the field of flowers with that woman._

_'They're born in the mud, yet they reach for heaven... and fill the world with their fragrance.'_

_A hand reached out to the sky. 'I love... always...' _

_'He's still alive,' an akuma said as he stepped over him. He leaned down and said one last thing. 'Now for the killing blow, exorcist!'_

_Kanda opened his eyes, his hand was outstretched and he was crying. 'I... love you...' he said to no one._

'She said we're like lotus blossoms. They bloom in the mud and make the world fragrant. She said... they were dear to her because they symbolized... the fate of exorcists.'

_'Disconnect the machines and the IV drip.' Kanda lay on the table, his arms dropped to his sides, his eyes hazy, tears running down the sides of his face, and a design of a triangle under both of his eyes._

'Oh... That's right... That's what happened.'

_'I see. Then let's let uncle convince them. No... keep this area sealed off as it has been up to now. If Bak comes around, don't let him in.' Kanda turned his head to the side to see Reni talking on a communicator. 'Nothing has changed. Just keep an eye on him. Sorry you got caught in the middle, Fo.'_

'Oh, I thought maybe she was the ghost. Her name's Fo. I met her once a long time ago. I was crying because of the synchro tests,' Kanda remembered Alma saying that.

_Kanda's frown turned into a devilish smile. 'Ha... HA HA HA HA!' It grew more divilish. 'HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!'_

_'Yu...' Reni said while approaching him._

_Kanda continued to laugh. 'HA HA HA HA HA HA!' _

_'Yu, I'm going to place a spell on you. It may hurt a little, but not for long. It's a sleep from which you won't awaken.' Kanda turned his head the other way and stopped laughing, but he kept his smile._

_He looked back at her, frowing, out of the corner of his eye. His look was frightful. 'You were tricking me, right?' The Second Exorcist Plan? Artificial apostles? No...'_

They weren't hallucinations.

_'No...'_

You sealed away...you erased...

_'They were all lies!'_

...my memories?

_'An akuma killed me, right? What year is it? How many...years have passed?' A murderous look creeped into Kanda's eyes. 'What did you do!' He thought back to the Akuma leaning over him, preparing to kill him. _

Memories of being killed... _He thought back to sitting with Alma and arguing with him._ Him too? _'What did you do to us!' He thought about the other apsotles, in the water. _And them? Then what about... that Innocence? _He thought about the Innocence, the one they tried to force him to sychronize with._

_'We're going to begin, Chan.'_

_Various seals on the table lit up with a sizzle. Kanda was surprised by this...and the pain that came with it. 'Gaah! Aah! Y...' the pain increased. 'You... aren't we... on the same side!'_

_'Innocence is all... we have... our only hope!' a scientist yelled while reading from a book. 'Without you exorcists... we cannot save the world!'_

_The intenisty and pain increased more. _What is that? _'Aah! Aaah! AAAH! AAGH!'_ What is that? What is that?

_'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!' Kanda yelled at the top of his lungs, pain flowing through his body and tears from it falling._

_Eventually it had ended. And with it, it had taken Kanda's life._

Kanda opened his eys. His vision was blurry and he shifted from his position. He crossed his legs and wiped his eyes. "It's been a long time, since I cried last... It's been a long time, since I remember killing Alma..."

**Woah! Finally finished with this chapter! I had no idea what I was gonna do! Sorry for the long wait.**

**Kanda- Gee Darxetta, you really got everyone riled up**

**Lavi- Yeah! And a lot of readers stopped reading!**

**Me- T~T I know...**

**Lavi- Aww don't cry! I'm sure they'll come back!**

**Me- I hope so...**

**R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- New Found Pain

**Bwahahahahahahaha! Chapter 6 has arrived ladies and gents! (Probably just ladies though, unless you're a guy and you like yaoi. Then I applaud you!) Anyway, I was so mad! There was something wrong with and I couldn't edit ****anything!**** It irritated me so much! I was scared I'd lose readers! Wah wah wah... Ok, moving on. I don't think this chapter will have any spoilers in it... But let me tell you that something is going to happen to our little Kanda, and you're not gonna like it...**

**Kanda- Why does it always have to be me...**

**Darxetta- Because Kanda dear, I'm a sadist and you are my favorite.**

**Kanda- Doesn't that mean you should favor me...? And like you know, NOT TORTURE ME!**

**Darxetta- No, It's because you're my favorite that I torture you.**

**Kanda- TT-TT**

**Lavi-...Disclaimer! Darxetta once again owns Nothing! **

**Darxetta- -_- enjoy...**

Kanda cried out in pain. It was unbearable. With his small fingers he desperately clawed at the stone table, searching for something to grab ahold of. Nothing was there, nothing but the flat surface. He kept clawing anyway. His little fingers had started to bleed, but he didn't care. It didn't amount to the pain that he felt elsewhere.

He bit his lip and scrunched his eyes closed tight trying not to let the tears fall. It was hot and he was sweating. He hated Tyki. When he could he was going to kill him. No. Not kill him. He was going to torture him. Torture him so bad that he would shake in his bones, that he would have wished that he had not layed a finger on Kanda. Kanda would get him. He would make him suffer. He made sure of it.

Another wave of pain coursed through his body and this time Kanda couldn't hold in the scream. "Ngh... Ahh!" He bit his lip with a curse and pressed his head down onto the table. Not again, he wouldn't do it again. Behind him Tyki smirked. "All that? Just for something so simple? I haven't even started yet little one. I'm just preparing you."

Kanda cursed him to hell. It was disgusting what Tyki was doing. Touching him, exploring him, doing things that shouldn't have been done. Not without his choice. Tyki's fingers repeatedly pumped in and out of Kanda's tight enterance, trying to stretch it for something...much bigger. He bit down on his lip harder, hard enough to make it bleed.

He desperately pulled at his restraints. His hands chained down to the table, his chest pressed down to the table, but he was sitting on his knees with no control of his body. Tyki was perched on the table behind him, he had Kanda's pants pulled down and his shirt pushed up.

"S-stop it!" Kanda cried.

Tyki laughed eerily. "Why should I? I am the Noah of Pleasure. And this is pleasing to me. Besides, you're not in the situation to tell me what to do."

Kanda slammed his head down onto the table. He tried to get into a state of mind in which he wouldn't have to think about what Tyki was doing. He tried zoning out. He almost did when Tyki pushed harder and a little deeper bringing him more pain.

"Agh!" Dammit! He did it again! Even though he said he wouldn't. Tyki smiled, he was going to keep this up. He was going to break the invincible Yu Kanda.

Tyki enventually pulled out his fingers and slid them into Kanda's mouth. Kanda did a bad thing, wanting to end this as quickly as possible, he bit down onto Tyki's fingers. He heard a sickening crack and tasted the matelic warmth of blood rush into his mouth.

"Ah! You little piece of shit!" Tyki pulled out a blade from the side of the table and buried it into the side of Kanda. He let out a howl of pain and released his grip on Tyki's fingers.

"That fucking hurt!"

Kanda's tears fell, his side was burning with immense pain and he couldn't hold it to stop the bleeding. Without warning the Noah of Pleasure pulled the blade out, which only made Kanda scream again.

"Hmm, I like the sound of that. Painful, isn't it?" He laughed,"You don't know the meaning of the word. Not yet. Not until I'm done with you." He got up and straightened himself before walking to where Kanda could see him.

"I'm going to break you little boy. You'll never want to see day light again. Or maybe, I'll make it so you'll never want to be in the dark."

Kanda narrowed his eyes and glared at Tyki with as much force as he could. "Go ahead and try me. You won't break me. I won't let you."

Tyki's dark smile appeared on his face. 'Ooh I've always liked a good challenge.'

He walked around Kanda to where he couldn't see him before unbuckling the belt from his pants, undoing the button, pulling down the zipper, and letting them fall along with is boxers.

Kanda began to get nervous. All he heard was Tyki's clothes shuffling, and he knew what was about to come. He was going to lose his pride, one of the few things he had in life. Mugen, the Lotus in the Hourglass, and his Virginity. Two of them had been stripped from him. He had heard that one of the Noah had destroyed his Innocence. Now Tyki was going to strip him of his virginity.

More tears fell and Kanda started to shake. He didn't want this. Why did it have to be him? Sure he was an ass and everything but was this his payback? Compensation for what he's done over the short nine years of his life? Was it...to repent for killing Alma...?

Tyki entered him without warning, it was dry and he wasn't stretched. Kanda screamed out loud from the intense pain that wracked his body. Tyki leaned forward enough to whisper in Kanda's ear, his arms wrapped around Kanda's lithe body.

"How does it feel? Does it hurt? I hope it does. I want to hear you scream in pain." Kanda shook his head continuously. _No no no no! This is _not___happening! Please don't let this happen!_

Kanda felt Tyki pulling out and he filled with hope. Perhaps Tyki decided to break him some other way! Yes that must be i- Kanda screamed again as Tyki thrust inside of him. The pain was so umbearable that he was stabing his fingers into the cracks in the table in an attept to pre-occupy himself with some other form of pain.

Tyki pulled out again and thrust back in. Kanda screamed. He cried and begged for Tyki to stop. "Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!" Tyki continued with his thrusts, making them hard and angling differently to torture Kanda. His hands roamed around Kanda's body and he grabbed ahold of each of his perk nipples squeezing them and making the samurai boy scream out in more pain.

"T-tyki! Stop it! No! I don't want this! S-stop!" Tyki laughed aloud. "You think I'd really stop just because you don't want it! Just because you asked me to! Didn't I tell you already? That I was going to torture you..."

Kanda shut his eyes tight and tried to stop himself from pleasing the Noah any further. This was all his fault... If only he had been stronger... If only someone could protect him when he needed it the most... He thought back to when Tyki discovered his little... ability.

_Kanda was huddled in the corner when Tyki walked in. He scanned the room looking for the young samurai exorcist. He walked around the table and found him protecting himself in a corner. _

_He raised an eyebrow and walked quietly over to the boy, wondering why he hadn't bled to death. "What do think you're doing?" he asked suddenly. Kanda whipped his head up. His eyes widened but then narrowed. "Get away from me," he growled._

_Tyki grabbed a fist full of Kanda's un-done hair and pulled him to a standing position. Kanda leaned down, tried to pull away from Tyki so he wouldn't see. He couldn't let him find out... not yet... He had to wait... _

_Too late, Tyki saw it. He grabbed Kanda's wrists and pinned him to the wall and leaned down to observe his stomach. He wasn't going to give in. Kanda kneed him in the face and ran for the door as the Noah fell back. That's when he remembered he was trapped, there was no handle to the door, Tyki always left by phasing through it. Kanda couldn't do that. _

_He turned back to see that he was gone and a dark over-whelming shadow surrounded him. "That wasn't very smart," he said with a low voice and a dark smile. Kanda shuddered, _what's he gonna do to me...?

_Tyki once again grabbed a fistful of Kanda's hair and slammed his head into the wall that they were near by and said boy let out a cry of pain. "AH!" Tyki laughed and slammed over and over again. He took pleasure in hearing the screams of the boy._

_He took his arm and angled it so the palm was facing downward, and from there he proceeded to snap his hand down and break Kanda's thin arm with a loud crack. "Ah! M-my arm!" The boy fell to the ground cradling his hurt arm and curled into a ball._

_"Oh, I'm going to have so much fun with this," he snickered. "I'm going to bring some toys for you, alright? Later though. I want to play with you now."_

_In a few hours Tyki had beaten Kanda to death. He was now worried, what would he do without his toy? His unbreakable doll? _

_Tyki placed the boy on the table and slapped him a few times hoping it would bring him back. No avail. He was still the same as before. Just as soon as he was about to give up and leave the boys body to rot he heard a cough._

_"-cough- -cough- -cough-" _

_Along with those coughs there were desperate gasps for air. Tyki turned around delighted, _he's still alive, I can still play with him, and do whatever I want.

_God, he was starting to sound like Road._

That's when this whole thing had started. When Tyki had decided that Kanda was his toy, his play thing, his victim. No matter how much Kanda struggled he couldn't get away from Tyki. He couldn't do it.

"Ngh! Ahh! Tyki..."

No matter how hard Kanda tried to hold in his screams he couldn't do it. Tyki was just too much for him.

Every time that Tyki thrust into Kanda he let out a small wimper and tried more to grab ahold of something. In the end he only ended up making his fingers bleed more from scratching at the table.

Tyki on the other had was enjoying himself more than he ever had before. The samurai wouldn't last much longer. He would be broken soon, and that excited Tyki even more. He cackled aloud and it frightened Kanda.

Tyki thrust a few more times before releasing himself into the exorcist. "Ngh! Ahh! Oh god you were so good," he groaned as he pulled out of said boy.

The Noah made himself decent before leaving. From outside of the room he flipped a switch which unlocked the shackles that held the boy down.

In the room Kanda heard a click and felt the shackles release and he pulled his arms to himself.

He pulled his pants up and pushed his shirt down before curling up on the table and crying more than he had before. His head, hands, fingers, bottom, and side hurt from when Tyki had stabbed him because said boy bit him. He was also disgusted by the fact that he could feel Tyki's... ejaculation coming out of him. It was disgusting and he felt dirty. Aside from that he was getting hungry. He hoped to God that he brought Tyki pain, no matter the amount of it.

"T-that bastard... I'll get him back... I'll make him pay..." He slid off of the table before returning to the corner in which he was in before. "I have to get out..."

**Somewhere in Europe:**

"Ugh, this is a major problem! How are we supposed to get into the ark?" Allen said frustrated.

Lavi was getting anxious. They had been searching of a way to get inside the Noahs Ark for days on end, with no avail.

"It might be possible that we'd have to lure them out. One of us would have to be captured," Marie said feeling uncomfortable with the suggestion.

"Or maybe we could get Road to come an' make out with Allen," Lavi said trying to lighten the mood. Allen looked at him with a small glare. "This is probably the most difficult part of the mission and you're messing around Lavi!"

Lavi frowned,"I'm just trying to lighten the mood Allen. You guys are stressing too much."

"Too much! Lavi they could be doing anything to Kanda!"

Lenalee was tired of hearing this. "Will you guys knock it off! Standing her arguing isn't going to help Kanda in any way!"

Allen and Lavi looked down feeling ashamed, she was right, they were only wasting time by arguing about something so trivial. "Allen, can't you use _your _ark?"

"I don't know how that would be possible. General Cross says I can't open an ark in a place I haven't been before."

"But Allen! We have been there before!" Lenalee shouted with an idea.

"What do you mean? When?"

"In the Rewinding Town! When we were with Miranda! Road took us to her room remember? All we'd have to do is get there, sneek out of her room, and look for Kanda!"

"But Lenalee, that was the old ark, the one I restored," Allen said.

Lenalee's hope left her,"Oh...yeah..."

"This is horrible... We have a plan, but we have no way to get there..."

Lavi bit his lip. The only way they'd be able to get into the ark would be by luring them out and fighting. A fight wouldn't bring them any luck.

Lavi had a lightbulb moment. "Allen!"

Allen turned to the red-head with a confused look on his face. "What?"

"I think I've got an idea!"

"You think?"

"I'm not sure if it'll work but we'll have to try it out!"

"Alright, we're trusting you Lavi!"

**Kanda's Cell:**

_Alright, I've got a plan... Well, I hope this works or else I'm screwed. _Kanda sat by the door that Tyki walks in through. For some unknown reason he always opened the door to come in. Ever since Kanda tore the door off with the handle he had it removed. Oh well, that didn't matter. This was his chance. When Tyki opened the door Kanda wouldn't let it shut all the way.

He'd wait till Tyki walked around a bit and leave. After that he didn't know what to do. But he did know that he was going to run for his life. Like it depended on it. Which it did.

Now all he had to do was wait. Wait for Tyki to come.

He sat there for about an hour before he heard echoing steps from the other side of the door. Not that he could tell how close or far away they were. He could barely hear them now, seeing how thick the door was.

The door opened and Kanda lighty slid a rock between the door jam and waited until Tyki was all the way in. He couldn't see him. Kanda was behind the door. The Noah turned to look down the hall and Kanda snuck around to hide on the other side of the table.

"Hm? Why's it so quiet in here?" he asked as he began to walk. Kanda slowly made his way around the opposite side of the table so the Noah couldn't see him.

Taking his chance Kanda pulled on the string that he used from his torn up clothes, it was connected to a rock that he had hooked around on a crooked piece of the wall. When it fell Tyki looked in that direction and Kanda swiftly opened the door and slid through it without letting Tyki see. He was out.

Hearing footsteps he hid in a dark slim break in the wall. Tyki rushed out and didn't glance back at the room.

"That little shit got out! But when did h..." he continued. His voice faded along with his footsteps and Kanda peaked out to see if he was there. Nope. He was out of site. "It's working so far..."

Before he left his hiding area Kanda glanced around for another, to take cover. He spotted a door. There, he could go there. But going in without knowing what was on the other side of it was going to be a big risk. "I'll have to take it, so that next time I get out, I'll know where I can and can't go."

He checked for Tyki once again before running to the door. He opened it quietly and was glad that it didn't creek. He slid in and carefully shut the door behind him. This room was familiar. He'd been in it before.

"This is that guys room, Skinn Bolic. That's his name. He's not still alive is he? Better not be..." Kanda hid behind the large stones that inhabited the room. "It doesn't look like anyone's here... How do I get out of here?"

Walking out from behind the rock Kanda kept awareness of his surroundings. There didn't seem to be a threat. He spotted another door in the distance. "Is this... inside that ark?" It looked familiar. Just like the other one.

Glancing back he noticed that the door he entered through was gone. "What the hell?"

Shrugging warily he moved quietly to the other door. "This could be it... where I get out, or get captured again..."

Kanda shut his eyes tightly and opened the door. It probably wasn't a good idea but he didn't want to know what was on the other side. Without opening his eyes he went through the door.

Instead of a flat surface he dropped. "AHH!" He grabbed onto the ledge of the door and opened his eyes looking down. "T-this is just like that door that Moyashii tried to go into when we wanted to leave the ark..."

Below him was a dark pit, of nothingness. He contemplated on whether or not he should let go. "If I do...then I don't know what could happen. I could die... Or I could appear somewhere else... If I don't then I'll get captured, tortured, and raped again..." He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"This might be my one and only chance... If Tyki gets me again, I know for sure that I won't be getting out."

So, Kanda did what he had to do...

He let go.

**Darxetta- ...**

**Lavi: -breaks out in tears- NOOO! Why! Why did you have to do this to Kanda!**

**Darxetta- It's for the story!**

**Lavi: Kanda! Kanda! Kanda where are you!**

**Darxetta- You'll find out next chapter!**

**Lavi: TT-TT -brings hammer out- He better be alive...**

**Darxetta: O_o -sweat drop- **

**Sorry if the chapter was short! I tried to make it long but this is where I felt I had to stop. For the moment anyway.**

**Hope you enjoyed! R&R please! **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- Escape

**Done with chapter 6! I kind of expected a lot of people to send reviews saying I'm a monster and this and that. Then again I don't get reviews. Only from one person, my #1 Reader: Animeluver2224! Yay for her! -Gives Animeluver2224 a cookie- Ok, I call her Kagome cuz we're friends and whatnot. So if I mention Kagome, it's her. Anyway, I finished chapter 6 on the same day I started chapter 7. Why? Because I was too impatient to wait a day to start it. Anyway here we go, oh and **_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_

**Lavi: TT-TT Kanda wanted to do disclaimer, but he's not here, so... I guess I'll do it. Darxetta doesn't own anything...**

**Darxetta: Don't worry Lavi you'll get Kanda...**

**Lavi: When!**

**Darxetta: You have to wait...**

**Lavi: You're lucky I'm not like Kanda, otherwise I would have killed you...**

**Darxetta: TT-TT**

* * *

"Lavi are you sure this is gonna work?" Allen asked uncertainly.

"...If I said yes then I'd be lying."

"Lavi!"

"Shhh!"

Lavi, Allen, Marie, Miranda, Lenalee, Krory, and, un-noticed to the others, Road, we're hiding in empty barrels hoping that some Noah would come out and kill 'Allen'*.

"What are we waiting for?" Road asked giving herself away as she sat in the same barrel that Allen was in.

"We're waiting for a Noah," Allen answered searching for a Noah.

. . .

"ROAD!" He shouted. The connected barrels tumbled over and Allen crawled out and backed up as quick as he possibly could. Confused the others jumped up into their fighting positions.

"What is it Allen!"

"R-r-road!" He stuttered pointing at the barrel he was in, where Road was exiting. "Hello," she said calmly.

"What are you doing here!"

She shrugged. "Does it matter? You wanted a Noah here right? So here I am, now what do you want?"

"Lavi, your plan failed," Marie said calmly.

Lavi shook his head. "I got a Noah to come right? That means I win! I did it!" he said jumping up and down happily.

Marie had to laugh. "I think you guys have gotten a little too comfortable around me," Road said, her voice filled with minor sarcasm and concern.

"Now what do you want?" She asked yet again.

"We want to go inside the ark," Allen said simply. "For...? Oh! Wait, It's because of Tyki's toy isn't it? The samurai kid?"

All heads turned to her at that comment, smiles turned into frowns, and worry turned into hate. "What do you mean toy?"

Road raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Didn't you know? That kid is Tyki's favorite play thing, he goes to see him all the time!"

Lavi glared at Road so hard she cowered. "What has he done to Kanda?"

Road shook her head. "I dunno! Tyki keeps him locked up inside this room! I've never been inside of it before!"

"Road..." Road turned her head cautiously to Allen. "Could you do me a really big favor..."

She gave him a questioning look. "Let us inside the ark. Please." He looked at her with a strong determination. "Why should I help you guys? If you do remember I am your guys' enemy."

Allen looked down. An eerie smile appeared on his face and his skin darkened, but only  
slightly. "Road, I suggest you let us in now." It was the Forteenth who spoke. Road could feel this hate eminating from him and she shuddered.

_T-the Forteenth...s-should I let them in?_

"Road, if you don't let us in," he raised his head, a large demonic smile displayed on his face with an evil glare,"I'll kill you."

A cold sweat covered Road's body. _If I don't let them in the Forteenth is going to kill me. But if I do... what would the Earl do? Tyki? He'd be so mad if he lost his toy, I shouldn't have said anything._

Allen took a step to her, and she stepped away. "F-fine, I'll let you guys in. Just don't tell Tyki I did it!" The Noah inside Allen faded away and he was once again normal.

Road opened her door. "Here, you can wander around the ark from inside my room, there's another door, you'll find it."

They all ran in past her and she nearly jumped out of her skin when Allen did the same. She wouldn't go in, not yet. She didn't want to know what was going to happen. So she took Lero and rode around town.

* * *

**In Road's Room:**

"It's the same as last time..." Miranda muttered out loud. The group stuck together, not wanting to get lost and they were all on gaurd. "Look, I think that's the door," Lavi said pointing to a door that read 'ark'.

The others couldn't help but laugh at Lavi's attempt to lighten the mood. It worked none the less. They made their way over to the door with haste. The quicker everything went then the better it was.

Marie opened the door and listened for any signs of the Noah coming. He was a great asset to the mission, with his great hearing they could make it through without being seen by a single Noah.

"I don't hear anything, so we should be alright for now." They made their way out the door, with Marie leading with Allen, and Lavi bringing up the rear end.

"Do you hear anything Marie? Any signs of Kanda maybe?" Marie shook his head. There was nothing to be heard, other than the breathing, the footsteps, and the shuffling clothes from the group.

Turning a corner they ran into someone. Not hard enough to push them down. Someone they didn't expect to see.

"Ah!" whoever they ran into yelped.

* * *

Kanda slowly opened his eyes. Looking around he noticed he was in a different room in the ark. "How did I get here...?" The room was empty, and it felt just like Skinn's room, desolate, lonely, cold.

"I gotta get out of here." Kanda hid behind a post and glanced around the room searching for an exit of some sort. There was another door. Making sure no one was around he ran for the door and swung it open. On the other side was the city of the ark. Just like the other one.

Hope filled him and he ran from the room without checking to see if it was safe. It didn't matter. He had plenty of room to run and places to hide. He turned a corner and there he slammed into someone, someone big.

"Ah!" Kanda looked up at the person who he ran into. Everything that he had worked for didn't matter anymore. Because...

* * *

**Black Order European Branch:**

Komui sat as his desk feeling restless. He couldn't sleep. He tried working on paperwork, tried cleaning, tried walking around, preparing a party, eating, meditating, reading, nothing worked. He couldn't get his mind off of what had happened. Why most of the exorcists in the order were gone, looking for Kanda.

General Tiedoll was dropping by. Should he tell him? Or not? If he did then perhaps he could go with the others. They'd have a better chance of saving Kanda. But... General Tiedoll is so possesive of Kanda. That's his son. His youngest son. He loves all of his students like family. He cared for Kanda so much. Like he cared for Daisya. But Daisya had died, and since then the General was even more possesive of Kanda and Marie.

He would be devistated to hear that Kanda was now with the Noah, had been taken hostage, could be dead, hurt, abused, malnurished. The General would be furious, and if Leverrier found out. That would be hell. He would call it off. Say to leave Kanda, the others wouldn't let that happen though. They couldn't, they were already on the mission to save the samurai.

The door opened as General Tiedoll shuffled in the door. He took a seat in front of Komui's desk and offered a kind smile.

Komui put his head on his desk. Could he look him in the eye and tell him?

"Chief Komui, something seems to be troubling you. Might I ask what it is?" Tiedoll spoke softly, as if Komui would break if his voice was any higher. Komui nodded,"I am troubled General. I have terrible news, and I'm not sure I can look you in the eye to say it."

Tiedoll nodded in understanding. "There's no use in grieving Komui, come on, spit it out."

Komui lifted his head and looked the general in the eye, dispite what he said a moment ago. "The Noah have taken Kanda," was all he said. He kept his voice firm and didn't let it crack, though his eyes swelled with tears that threatened to fall.

The general sat there for a moment, unmoving, not breathing, just sitting there. Then he  
silently stood up, pushed his chair close the the desk, turned on his heal, and headed for the door.

"General Tiedoll?" Komui called out. The general didn't look back, he didn't stop. He couldn't.  
If he did then surely he would go off on the Chief. He couldn't do that, it wasn't the Chief's  
fault.

He left the room and silently closed the door behind him. Sniffling he let his held in tears fall at last.

* * *

...Tyki had found him.

Kanda turned on his heal and ran as fast as he could away from the Noah. "Oho, there you are my play thing!"

Tyki chased after him and caught up easily. He grabbed the boy by the wrist and forced him down to the ground bringing the wrist to the boys back and lifting it higher.

"Ngh! T-tyki!"

He twisted his body the way Tyki was twisting his arm and kicked him square in the face, which forced the Noah to let go.

Kanda punched him in his throat and ran past him. The Noah on the other hand fell to the floor gasping for air. That little bastard stopped his breathing! If only for a moment, and it allowed him to get away. He would pay.

When he turned to the direction that Kanda ran he stopped. The road he was one broke into three more. Which way did he go? He wasn't on the road in front of him, he glanced to the left, nothing there, so he glanced to the right, nothing there either. _Dammit! It would have been better if he ran the other way!_

Kanda looked back for Tyki, he was gone. "T-thank Kami*, I was sure he would have caught up to me by now."

Kanda swiveled his head to the front and took another corner. He ran into something again. "Ah!" _No! I just got away from Tyki! He couldn't have caught up that fast! U-unless I went in a circle..._

* * *

Allen, who was behind Marie and had slammed into him, peaked around Marie and smiled as big as he could. "Kanda!"

Everyone ran to Allen and glanced around him to see the samurai on his butt in front of Marie.

"M-moyashii, Lenalee, Lavi, Marie... you guys..."

Lavi ran around them all and pulled Kanda into a tight hug. "We came for you Kanda!"

Relief washed through all of them at once. Kanda, unknowingly, wrapped his arms around Lavi's neck and pulled him as close as possible. "L-lavi..."

"We have to go. Now." Marie was dead serious and turned around listening for something. "Someone's coming, I can't tell from which direction, but they're coming fast."

"I-it's Tyki..." Kanda said. Lenalee frowned hearing the fear in Kanda's voice. "Then what are we waiting for?" she asked trying to urge them on.

Before they could even take a step Tyki walked in front of Lavi and Kanda. "Oho, I see you've got my play thing. Give him up now, and maybe I'll let you live."

Allen pointed his sword at Tyki. Lenalee already had her Dark Boots activated. Lavi had his hammer in hand, Marie prepared his Noel Organo, Miranda her Clock, and Krory bared his fangs.

Tyki laughed a bit,"All of you against me? Oh well. That doesn't matter. How did you get in?"

None of them answered. "That doesn't matter either," he said whilst raising a had. "Tease, kill them." Tease flowed from Tyki and flew quickly at the targets. Lavi took cover with Kanda behind Allen as he ran at Tyki, ignoring the Tease, and swung his blade at Tyki.

Barely seeing it coming, Tyki back-stepped and lashed his hand out at Allen striking him in the shoulder. Said boy cringed but didn't let that stop him, he turned the way he swung his sword to spike up the momentum and slammed it down where Tyki was standing, earning him a wounded chest.

"Hmph, I'll get him back." He side-stepped Allen's next attack and pulled a round-house kick on the boy which sent him flying several feet. Krory had launched himself at Tyki and they both went tumbling down to the floor. Without a second thought Krory bit into the Noah's shoulder and drew blood.

"Ngh!" Tyki slammed his fist into the side of Krory's head, but he didn't let go. Krory had created the chance for Lavi to take off with Kanda. And he took the chance.

"We're getting you out of here." This fight was a big risk, they couldn't defeat the Noah, not yet anyway. Fighting would only attract more attention than needed.

Tyki gave up on trying to get the man off of him, instead he phased through him and stood up, that was before he got an extremely powerful kick to the head, which sent him flying back about twenty feet before slamming hard into one of the buildings. Thanks to Lenalee's powerful kicks they could get away while the Noah was, passed out, unconsious, whatever. It didn't matter. Thay had their chance and they were taking it before the battle escalated.

Marie took off with Allen behind him and Krory thrown over his shoulder, pulling Lenalee, and Lenalee pulling Miranda. They soon caught up to Lavi who was hiding in a near-by alley. "Are we ready to go?"

They nodded and proceeded to run from the Noah that had been left behind.

"Allen!" Lavi shouted suddenly.

"W-what?" Allen asked nervously before turning his head back to make sure they weren't being followed.

"You need to open an ark to get us out of here!"

"We should find a place to hide first," Lenalee said before stopping in front of a door. Opening it she ushered everyone inside.

She shut the door and Allen opened an ark gate.

"Don't worry Kanda, we're going to get you home, I promise," Lavi said, still holding Kanda close.

Said boy only nodded in response and clutched Lavi's shirt.

He thought about the time that he was here. It took him several days to construct this plan, to get everthing right. From the time Tyki first raped him, it had been about ten days. He could tell because Tyki came to visit him everyday.

_Should I tell Lavi...? Would he be sad...? What would he do? _Kanda gripped Lavi's shirt tighter and cried feeling bad he was getting the red-heads shirt wet.

Lavi looked down at Kanda, who was now shaking, and he could feel the wetness on his shirt. 'Ah, no way, is Yu...crying?' Lavi thought. Unconsiously he rubbed Kanda's back. "Don't worry Yu, we're going home."

Kanda didn't give him any response. He continued to silently cry into Lavi's shoulder and tried to erase in his mind what had happened over the past time he's been here. It was horrible. Lavi would make him pay. If not him, then it would be Lavi, maybe the others too.

But there was one problem. Could he muster up the courage to tell them?

He thought about it. Would it be better to hold it all in, or to let it out. He could always just keep it bottled up, not tell anyone about it. Like he did with everything else. But this wasn't the same. The story was different. Usually what he had to bottle up wasn't anything major.

This was in a different league. He was raped eleven times, cut open, beaten, became a disection item, and was...well, a toy. A toy for Tyki. Not again, he wouldn't let it happen again. That made him think about Mugen.

Was his Innocence really destroyed? He didn't feel a disconnection with it, so there was a chance that it was still there. Hopefully not with Tyki. Tyki would destroy it first then take his heart. But no, He couldn't do that.

_He can't take my heart,_ Kanda thought as they all stepped through the ark gate, _because Lavi already has it._

* * *

**Omg! I finished two chapters in one day! Well? What do you think? **

_**PLEASE **__**READ AND **__**REVIEW!**_

**I thought this chapter went well. Tell me, did you like the fight scene, do I need to fix anything? Do anything differently? Please REVIEW so I can make the story BETTER!**

**Kagome, you always review, but do it anyway!**

**Well hope you enjoyed! **

**Lavi: YU! -holds Kanda in his arms while he cries-**

**Kanda: L-lavi?**

**Lavi: I have your heart! How cute!**

**Kanda: -blush- urusei, teme**

**Lavi: ^^**

**Oh by the way, somewhere up there I put an astral star, like this *. It's by 'Allen' because that 'Allen' was a decoy that some Noah was supposed to randomly kill. I thought I had another one... maybe I do but I can't find it and I don't remember. If you DO find it let me know! **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- You Don't Know What You Have Until You Lose It

**Hello Readers! I am very sad to tell you that even though I've asked for reviews... I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANY! Why! Is it so good you can't think of anything I need to fix! Even if it's good at least let me know! I want to know what you guys think! Thank you for all of your subscriptions! And thank you Kagome for WRITING ME REVIEWS! -mutters,"unlike some people I know..." Anyway, here's chapter 8, I didn't really know what to do with this chapter, but I figured something out.**

**En-**

**Lavi- DARXETTA DOESN'T OWN ANYTHING!**

**-joy...**

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Kanda squeezed his eyes shut, they were going through the ark gate, and he was safe now, but he couldn't help but feel scared still.

He felt this odd sensation come over him as Lavi walked through with him, like... a cleansing of some sort, as if he had been caked in blood, sweat, and dirt his whole life, but now as he passed through the gate, he had been cleansed of anything and everything.

It only lasted for that short moment. As they stepped onto the other side Kanda could smell the freshness of the air and he still felt dirty and beaten.

Lavi gently set Kanda down beside him and he put his hand on his back. "We're outside the Order Yu, are you ready to go in?" Lavi asked slowly.

Kanda opened his eyes and saw Allen coming toward him from the corner of his eyes. He reached out to take Kanda's hand, but what Kanda saw was something horrible reaching out to grab him, to beat him, rape him, and destroy him.

He screamed, as loud as he could and backed up before turning on his heel to run. He didn't see Allen, he saw a Noah, a devil Noah with a deadly smirk plastered upon his face, with his dark skin, excited eyes, and what he had done to him.

"Yu!" Allen was taken back, he was stunned that Kanda was afraid of him. "He's...afraid of me?"

Lavi jogged to catch up to Kanda who had worn himself out, now laying in a heap on the ground, panting and flustered.

"Yu, what's wrong?" Kanda sat up quickly and hugged Lavi whilst burying his face into the red-heads shirt. "Yu?"

"Tyki... all I see is Tyki coming to get me..." Over and over again Kanda murmered this with a trail of tears making their way down his dirtied cheeks. "Don't let him come, don't let him take me, don't let him touch me..."

Lavi solemly picked Kanda up and looked back at his friends sadly. "Don't worry Allen, it ain't got nothin' to do with ya, Yu's just... frightened of Tyki. He musta done some pretty bad stuff if Kanda's like this..."

Allen replied,"Yeah it's alri-"

"What about _that_?" Marie said cutting in. "Sorry Allen, I didn't mean to cut you off," he said politely.

"N-no it's fine, and what is _that_?"

"Komui planned a welcome home party for Kanda," Lenalee answered in a whisper,"but now that we have a grasp on his condition, it might be best if we just take him to the medical ward."

The others nodded in agreement, but Krory disagreed,"I don't think that we should do that. He would be alone and I think he really needs to be around people that care about him right now, to show him that he's safe."

Miranda nodded,"He's got a point."

"Yeah, but what about how he acted with Allen huh? He's going to be surrounded by people and Kanda has always hated crowds to begin with," Marie added.

"That's a good point Marie, but think about it. It's me, you, Miranda, Lenalee, Allen, and Krory at the moment, there will be a lot of other people and it would be foolish if Tyki came when he'd be surrounded by exorcists, generals, and finders," Lavi stated.

The others nodded in compliance but some still disagreed. "Alright," Lavi began,"if we want to decide what we're going to do, then why don't we ask Yu himself?"

Lavi looked down at the boy in his arms who was quietly weeping. "Yu?" Kanda sniffled before glancing up and staring into Lavi's worried eyes. "H-hai?"

"Komui planned a party for you, to welcome you home,"he said quietly. "Would you like to go, or would you like to go to the medical ward?"

Kanda rested his head on Lavi's chest to think. _I heard what they said, and they've all got good points. It _would _be foolish if Tyki came here now, after he got his ass kicked. And it would be better than being alone... _

Kanda thought back to when he was first raped by Tyki, _I always knew I was hated by everyone at the Order, but could this be compensation for being the jerk I've always been?_

He tugged on Lavi's sleeve and looked up at him,"I...I want to go to the party..."

Lavi smiled softly,"Alright, then to the party it is, but let's get you to the medical wing first to get you checked up, cleaned up, and ready to go, alright?" Kanda nodded and leaned his head against Lavi's chest once again.

He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds around him, but he was paying the most attention to Lavi's heart beating against his chest, against Kanda's ears. It was a sweet, melodic, comforting sound.

_Promise me Lavi, promise me that you'll take care of my heart, so that I don't have to... and so that no one can take it from me... _

As the gang walked to the medical ward they broke off one at a time, Krory and Miranda to inform Komui of their arrival, Marie to inform Tiedoll, Lenalee to get Kanda clothes, and Allen stayed with Lavi and the silent Kanda.

"Kanda, I'm sorry I scared you," he said suddenly.

Kanda picked up his head and rested it on Lavi's shoulder so he could see Allen. "It wasn't your fault... I just panicked..." he said hoarsley. Allen nodded and looked down.

"Alright Yu, we're here," Lavi said holding Kanda out in front of him,"me and Allen can stay while you get checked up or we ca-"

"Stay!" There were traces of fright in Kanda's eyes, but also a yearning to be with someone at all times.

Lavi nodded and looked back at Allen,"Are you gonna stay?"

Allen glanced at Lavi, then at Kanda,"Only if Kanda wants me to, only if he feels comfortable with me being here..."

"Wow, something wierd's goin' on with you guys, bean sprout being considerate about what Yu-chan wants? What has been goin' on?" Lavi asked jokingly.

Lavi held Kanda to him once again as they entered the medical wing, several nurses looked over at them, then dismissed them.

Then they looked back again with astounded faces, some of their jaws dropped, and some rushed over, picking up their too long dresses, with big smiles on their faces.

Kanda tried not to panic, _They're happy to see you! Stop freaking out! They just wanna make sure that you're ok! They're not going to take you, lock you up in a room, torture you, malnurish you, and rape you. They're going to take you, make you comfortable, feed you, bring back your strength, and help you get over what happened. _

He calmed down. The head nurse abruptly took Kanda and hugged him to her with tears in her eyes. "We have been so worried about you!" she mused.

Kanda's small eyes widened at the fact that the nurse of all people had missed him. They eventually got him into a bed, the other nurses took off to care for their other patients and spread the word about how he was back.

The nurse looked him over,"Well, thanks to your healing abilities you're in pretty good shape, though you are malnurished, that's something only food can fix. You're tired too, you haven't eaten enough to regain enough energy to keep regenerating, so that's been slowed up a bit. Everything else checks out fine though."

As she began to leave Kanda grabbed the back of her dress and refused to let go. Beside him Lavi, who had been there the hold time, tilted his head slightly with confusion. Was there something else that was wrong with him?

He pulled the woman down so he could whisper in her ear. He made sure to look away from Lavi, he made sure he said it quiet enough, so that the one he loved couldn't hear. He would tell him what happened, later though. Lavi seemed happy right now, happy that Kanda was back, happy that Kanda was ok.

Later he would tell him, so that way he wouldn't ruin the mood. Or maybe he wouldn't tell him at all. No, he would tell him, why? Because he loved Lavi, and he believed he had a right to know. Besides, if Kanda couldn't get revenge, then Lavi would do it for him. Or he would help him, either way, he wanted Lavi to be a part of it.

He released the nurses dress and looked into her now saddened and crying eyes with a pain in his own. She covered her mouth and wiped her tears away before nodding and walking away saying he could be dismissed with a stutter.

"Yu? What did you tell her?" Kanda looked back at a now worried Lavi,"Don't worry, I'll tell you later ok? I just want to be with... I... I just want to be with my family for now..."

Lavi's eye widened at this,'_Yu? He want's to be with...his family? So he finally accepts it huh? Better late than never I guess.'_

He smiled,"Yeah, let's take you to see our family." He opened the curtain that covered them to reveal Allen standing there looking back just as Lenalee entered the room.

"Kanda, I brought you some of Bookman's clothes. He said he didn't mind and that you could keep them for now." She smiled.

"Lavi..."

"Yes Yu?"

"...I...don't want to be by myself when I change..."

Lavi nodded in understanding. "Dontcha worry Yu-chan, I"ll be with ya the whole time! I won't leave your side."

Kanda let a small smile form on his lips. There _was_ a reason he loved Lavi, actually there were a lot, but this was one of his favorite. Lavi's acceptance of him, and his understanding to protect him in his time of need. Too bad Lavi didn't love him back, that would rebuild his world, build the high walls around it, and the only citizens would be those from the Black Order. It would be his Utopia. Lavi-ville. Hah.

Lavi closed the curtain once he had Kanda's clothes. "How's this Yu-chan? That way you're not locked in a small room with just me. You have all this area plus you have me, Allen, and Lena to watch out for ya."

Kanda looked up at Lavi innocently and nodded letting his small smile grow a bit. "Thanks Lavi... that's really comforting. Would you help me?"

"No problem at all Yu, and ya, sure I'll help you out."

Lavi went to the opposite side of the bed and let Kanda walk out in front of him. He took a seat on the chair that faced the bed, the one he had been sitting in a while ago, and pulled Kanda to face him.

It made Kanda think... think about what Tyki did. That first time. Not the first time he raped him, but the first time he did... _that._

* * *

_Kanda closed his eyes tight and held himself as he heard the big door open. He listened as Tyki's footsteps walked around the table, the long way, and made their way over to him. _

_"Hey there my little toy, how have you been? All healed up yet? I hope you are, because I have a new idea, I have another game I want to play."_

_Kanda shook his head and backed up as far as he could into his corner. He wished that Tyki would just kill him and go away._

_"Come on boy, don't be shy, I know you don't like me, but that's what makes this game all the more fun," he said as he grabbed Kanda's wrists and pulled him over to the table. Kanda tried pulling away from Tyki, to get away from the restraints, to get away from having to be touched again by the repulsive man. _

_But Tyki had a different idea in mind that day. He wasn't going to be doing anything, well, he would, but it wouldn't be the same as usual. Today Kanda would be doing all of the work._

_He dropped his pants and sat himself on the table before grabbing a fistful of Kanda's hair and bringing the boy over to his face. "You see that thing down there?" he asked harshly and forced Kanda to look down at his hardened member._

_"I want you to suck it."_

_Kanda shook his head vigoroulsy and attempted to pull away once again. "No! Let go! That's disgusting! If you try to make me do it I'll bite it!"_

_Tyki scoweled. He pulled Kanda close to his face and whispered, his eyes glinted and a deep scowl displayed itself,"Now listen up bitch, you know damn well what happens if you don't do what I say. I will beat you, I will rape you, I will force you to heed my commands no matter what the hell it is. Do you understand?" he asked, making the last part come out as cold as ice._

_Kanda shuddered, he was right. If he didn't do it the punishment would be so much worse, but if he did... it's disgusting, to touch and suck on another mans... He bit down on his lip and whimpered a bit as the grip on his hair tightened._

_"You will do as you are told." Tyki switfly twisted his hand and punched Kanda in the stomach so hard he made him lose his breath, Kanda in return gasped for air and that's when Tyki took his chance to push Kanda's head down and engulf his member with his mouth._

_He groaned at the feeling of Kanda's hot, wet, little mouth surrounding him. He got hot and bobbed Kanda's head since the boy wasn't going to do it himself. And since Kanda's mouth was so small he hardly had to try sucking, because it was like he was doing it already._

_Kanda eyes burned with tears and he let them fall. He tried not to gag but he couldn't help it, everytime Tyki pushed down he took in more of him and it was hitting the back of Kanda's throat. _

_He felt like he was going to throw up, and surely after Tyki was done, had cleaned himself up, and left the room, he was going too._

_He endured it as long as he could, and he tried extra hard not to bite down because the invitation was just too appealing. Tyki continued to bob his head and thrust up a couple of times choking Kanda. His ugly groans and moans filled the room and he wanted more so he did it faster. _

_Kanda began to see stars, his eyes were blurring and Tyki thrust up one more time before coming into his mouth, deep into the back of his throat forcing Kanda to swallow what had come out of him._

_That's when Kanda couldn't breath, when he almost threw up on Tyki, when his vision blacked out before he noticed that he could breathe again as he lay upon the table. He was gasping for air and trying to get the taste out of his mouth. Tyki was standing off to the side of the table, collecting himself and fixing his attire._

_"Hm, that was better than I thought it would be," he said before he faded through the door._

_Kanda waited a good ten minutes before weakly pushing himself up onto frail arms and leaning over the side of the table where the door was. He puked up everything Tyki had fed him and he did it in a spot that Tyki was sure to walk in when he entered the next day. _

_After Kanda was done he lay back on the table and wiped his mouth before spitting a couple of times trying to get the remaining semen out of his mouth. "Ugh... how disgusting..."_

_When he felt full of more strength slid off the table and retured to his usual corner, in the usual fetal possision._

* * *

_Maybe I should skip out on the details when I tell Lavi._

Though the position looked like it had back then, Kanda trusted Lavi, with his life, his love, his heart, his very being. So he silently walked up to Lavi and pulled off the now poor excuse for a hospital gown.

He was dirty underneath it and he still had some of Tyki's semen on the insides of his thighs. He wouldn't let Lavi see though.

Lavi had grabbed a washcloth from the nightstand that the nurse had been kind enough to leave behind for Lavi to clean up Kanda. He started out on Kanda's face, wiping the dirt and the blood caked on. Then he moved down to his shoulders, and then to his stomach. He switched and worked on Kanda's back, but that's where he stopped. He dipped the cloth into the water and cleaned it before handing it over to Kanda so he wouldn't feel violated.

Oh thank the heaven's Lavi was serious about this. He even turned away so Kanda could finish cleaning himself. He was glad he did, so that way he wouldn't have to see the semen on him, so that way he wouldn't have to see how dirty Kanda had become, how unpure he was, how tainted he was, how unclean he was.

After he was finished he set the cloth on the stand and pulled on a fresh pair of boxers then slid on the comfortable pants. Lavi helped him with the shirt, it was alot easier on him because he was still tired and weak.

"Alright you ready Yu?"

"Yeah, I'm ready, thanks for helping me out Lavi," he said smally.

Lavi nodded with a smile,"Of course Yu! I'm always here for you!"

_That's just another reason I love you..._

Lavi gently picked Kanda up and opened the curtain before tugging Lenalee and Allen out into the hall with him.

"Alright, we're heading to the part now ok guys?"

"Everyone else is already there Lavi, they're just waiting on us now," Lenalee informed him.

"Alright, then let's not keep everyone waiting huh!" He smiled his big goofy smile and they made their way down the halls to the cafateria, where everyone was assembled.

"Kanda, do you still want me to carry you or do you wanna walk?" Lavi asked after a while.

"...I want to walk in by myself," Kanda replied. Lavi nodded.

_I love how you hold me Lavi, so tenderly and caring. I love how you look at me Lavi, so full of passion and care. I love how you protect me Lavi, so determined and strong. I love you Lavi._

As they reached the cafeteria Lavi put Kanda down and took his small hand in his much larger one. "Is it ok if we go in like this?"

Kanda nodded and the four of them approached the door, when they stepped through they were greated by graffitti being shot into the air, party balloons, a buffet a food, and everyone in the Order assembled with two big signs and a great message from everyone. One that lifted Kanda's spirits and made him feel ten times better.

"WELCOME HOME!"

He was home again. Home with caring people, the person he loves, and great friends. No, and a great family. Yes, these people were his family. He hadn't realized that. Not until he lost it.

_You don't know what you have until you lose it._

* * *

**Well? What do you think? Sorry if there are typo's it was really late when I wrote this. Hope you liked. **

**P.S.- REVIEW!**

**Hope you guys enjoyed ^^**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: The Secret, Revealed

**Hi everyone... Sorry it took me such a long time to update, I didn't really know where to take this but I think I've got an idea. Happy Easter to everyone! Cuz that's when I'm writing this... I asked for reviews before...but I still only got like two... that kind of makes me sad, but eh... Anyway here's chapter 9...**

**Lavi- Ooh you guys are making Darxetta sad!**

**Kanda- How cruel, she takes her time to come up with this...great story and you guys give her no feedback? **

**Lavi- You should feel ashamed!**

**Kanda- Darxetta doesn't own anything...**

**Lavi- Hmph, you better enjoy it at the least...**

* * *

Kanda couldn't help but let a smile grow on his face, all of the people he thought had hated him were there to celebrate his retrieval. He had a second thought though, one that he wanted to bury in the back of his mind, but he couldn't help but think it.

_What if they're not really here to welcome be back..._

At the thought Kanda's heart ached. Lavi ushered him through the crowd but Kanda was starting to get scared. People would try to reach out to him and he would press himself against Lavi, backing up into him and gripping his pants.

_They all want to get me... They don't want me here..._

He felt as if they all wanted to grab him and throw him back to Tyki, the air was becoming harder to breathe, his palms were getting sweaty and he became more aware of everything around him.

But then something happened, something that made a shiver run down his spine. Him and Lavi had stopped walking and he could feel the breath from Lavi's whisper,"Kanda, it's alright. No one is going to do anything to you, I promise." His voice sounded husky to Kanda, but he couldn't tell for sure, next thing he know's they're at a table on the side of the room, it's not crowded, and he feels much safer.

_Tonight... I'll tell Lavi tonight... _

Kanda was pressed with his back to Lavi's legs, he looked up at Lavi and the red-head looked down at him. "Yu, are you hungry?"

Kanda nodded in anticipation, he wasn't hungry, he was starving. Tyki hadn't fed him through-out the whole eleven days or so that he was there. He was surprised that he was standing. Lavi was going to get Kanda some soba, but he stopped him. "Lavi..."

"What is it Yu?" Kanda averted his eyes.

"I uh... don't want soba..." Lavi's eye widened, _Yu __always__ eat's soba! But then again, Tyki must have starved him, he does need more than just soba to get better._

Lavi nodded and started to fill Kanda's plate with fattening food. It would help to get some meat on the kids bones. All while Lavi was moving around and grabbing things, Kanda was standing as close to him as possible.

_It's kind of cute that he's doing that... on second thought he's cu- woah woah woah! Did I just think that! Oh god... I think... I'm starting to like Yu..._

Lavi looked down at Kanda to see him peering off into the crowd with a thoughtful look on his face. He smiled, _I think I do like Yu, and it doesn't bother me one bit._

Once Lavi had Kanda's plate filled with fattening food, and a plate of his own, they found a table in a kind of secluded area, so Kanda would feel safer. When Lavi sat down Kanda pushed his chair closer to Lavi's before climbing into it. Inwardly Lavi smiled, _ok that was cute!_

As they ate their meals Lavi watched Kanda consume his food. _Wow, I don't think I've ever seen Yu eat anything other than soba, this is actually kind of wierd. But it's funny seeing his different expressions with the different food._

Every now and then Kanda would find something on his plate that he didn't like, so he'd put it on another plate, and try something new. He felt like Lavi was watching him, maybe he was though, to make sure he was eating.

"Attention everyone!" came Komui's loud voice from some speakers around the room,"We're going to have a toast for the retrieval of Kanda!"

Everyone cheered, but Kanda thought most of them were just going along with it. They all raised their glasses, filled with water, alcohol, or some other beverage. They all gave another loud cheer and took a drink from their cups.

Just as Kanda was getting comfortable he glanced around to see General Tiedoll coming toward him with tears streaming down his face and a big goofy smile. He came up and pulled Kanda into a hug. That was a mistake.

Kanda eyes blurred and all he saw was Tyki holding him down, getting ready to torture him and beat him. He let out a scream that made the entire mess hall go quiet and with all of the strength he had left he pushed Tiedoll back before curling up in the fetal position under the table.

Tiedoll looked hurt and confused, and so did everyone else. Lavi leaned down and picked up the cloth on the table to reveal Kanda crying. "Yu?" He only shook from the harsh crying. Lavi slid himself under the table and pulled Kanda to him. Kanda in turn wrapped his arms around Lavi as much as he could, gripped the shirt as tightly as he could, and buried his face into Lavi's chest.

"What happened to my son while he was with the Noah!" Tiedoll asked frantically. Komui came forth pushing through the crowd,"Excuse me, pardon me, move please."

He leaned down with Tiedoll and lifted up a part of the table cloth. "Kanda...Lavi, I think it's time we talked. Something traumatizing must have happened."

Kanda's skin was crawling and he felt Tyki's hands roaming his body, his mind flashed with images of him torturing and beating Kanda, after that...came the rape. Kanda shivered in disgust, he could still smell Tyki, feel him, taste him. It was horrible and he had to get it off, he wanted to get it off, he _needed _to get it off.

Lavi scooted his way out from under the table and let Kanda walk beside him. Kanda held on tighter and stood closer to Lavi than before. When they passed the general he averted his eyes feeling ashamed. The general was worried and he looked saddened, but he followed beside Komui.

As they walked through, the crowd spread and made a path for them. Lavi gave them all thankful looks and Kanda kept his senses on alert, he watched every single one of them with hawk eyes and if one of them even shifted he tightened his fists and narrowed his now red eyes.

After what felt like forever the group finally emerged from the cafeteria and Kanda felt a flood of relief wash over him. Glancing back he noticed Komui and Tiedoll were following. He shifted from Lavi's side to standing in front of him, feeling safer and more aware.

He felt guilty for doing it, but he couldn't help him self. If anyone got too close to Kanda he felt like Tyki was there for him all over again. It was just a natural relfex now. As they approached Komui's office Kanda looked back at the following pair. Tiedoll was murmuring something to Komui and the chief was, for once, being serious.

They entered the room and Kanda sat next to Lavi, practically glueing himself to the red-head. Lavi didn't complain, he knew that something bad must have happened, but he was worried as to what it was.

Komui took a seat at his, clean, desk and Tiedoll stood beside him. "Kanda, listen, I know you probably don't want to talk about it but we need to know what happened while you were there, or else we can't help you. We really missed you Kanda, and we want to help you," Komui said with a sincere voice.

Kanda shook averted his eyes, shook his head, and whispered,"No you don't..." Komui was shocked by this. "W-what do you mean Kanda? Of course we do! We're your family!" His voice was filled with urgency and Kanda didn't want to look at him, didn't want to see the pained look in his eyes. Lavi sat forward next to him and he was looking at him. Tiedoll was also looking at him but stood in his position.

Kanda hugged himself and continued,"Nobody here really likes me. The finders, they only came because they had to, you guys...only need me for the war. I'm nothing to you guys..." Komui slammed his hands onto the desk and stood up. "That's a rediculous idea Kanda! We want you here!"

Kanda looked up at Komui,"Which would you choose if the situation came. The Heart, or me...?" Komui bit his lip. "Kanda..." "See? It would be the Heart. It's only natural because it's so much more important than I am. And if I were to die, I'd be like everyone else. I'd just be a dead body, you would only mourn for so long before forgetting me."

"Kanda no one could forget you," the general announced, cutting in.

Kanda looked down and scooted away from Lavi. "But I could forget you..."

The trio was once again surprised by what Kanda had said. "Yu! What do you mea-"

Kanda cut him off,"You know damn well what I mean! I'm an ass and I know that! Being with Tyki wasn't even half of the compensation for what I've done over my lifetime! The finder's don't like me, the scientists don't like me, YOU don't like me! It's just a cover-up! You never liked me...and you never loved me... You don't know me well enough to..."

"...Kanda we didn't come here to discuss this. None of that is true and right now it's not the most important thing on my list. The most important thing right now is to figure out what happened to you so we can make sure that whatever happened today doesn't happen again."

Kanda had never heard Komui's voice so level but filled with so many emotions. He could hear the sadness, the betrayal, the anger and the slight scorn dripping from it. "C'mon Yu, please tell us what happened..." Lavi's was filled with pain and betrayal, and it ached Kanda's heart to know that he had done it, that he had made the one he loved sad, that he had brought him pain.

"...nothing really important. He didn't feed me, he beat me, and that was pretty much it..." Kanda wasn't going to tell them about the rape. He knew he would have to eventually, but he wanted Lavi to be the first to know. He wanted Lavi to embrace him, tell him everything would be alright, tell him he would forever be safe in his arms. But that wouldn't happen. Lavi didn't feel the same and that hurt his heart even more.

"There has to be more than that, otherwise you wouldn't be having these panic attacks when people get close to you, or touch you."

Kanda shook his head. "There's nothing else to say..." He stood up and headed to the door. He opened the door and warily glanced around the hall before taking off full speed to his room. When he got there he slammed the door shut and locked it. Looking around the room he was beginning to be consumed with claustriphobia.

The room seemed to get smaller, the air was getting thinner and he took deeper faster breaths to get the air he needed. Images came forth in his mind and he could hear Tyki's breathing, hear his footsteps approaching, hear his deep laugh and see his wide grin with those glowing eyes.

He leaned back against the door and slid down pulling his knees to his chest and cradling his head in his hands. Squeezing his eyes shut he tried his best not to let out the scream that was rising from his throat. Tyki's voice, footsteps, and laugh were echoing around him and his stomach twisted with fear and disgust.

_He's coming for me, he's coming to get me. He's going to get me and lock me up, beat me and rape me. No no no no no! Not again please not again! I can't handle this! I can't take it! I can't I can't I can't I just can't!_

His eyes blurred as he started to panic more. _Get him out of my head! Wash him off of my body! Get him away! Burn him!_

Knock. Knock. Knock.

At the gentle sound his eyes widened, the hold on his head loosened and his knees slightely shook. "Yu, it's just me. Please open the door..."

Kanda was somewhat relieved. Lavi had pulled him from the abyss. He had filled his lungs with sweet air, his head with pleasant images of being together. On shaky feet he stood up and unlocked the door. Stepping away he opened it just barely and peeked through the opening. Lavi was standing there alone with a worried look on his usually happy face.

_I seem to be worrying him a lot more than usual... _He opened the door all the way and allowed Lavi inside. "Yu it's really cold in here, you should get a heater or something."

Kanda shook his head and crawled on the bed. Lavi pulled out the chair from the desk on which the Lotus sat and placed himself on it with the chair backwards.

"Y-"

"Lavi..." Kanda whispered loud enough just to cut Lavi off. "T-there's something I need to tell you..."

Lavi nodded and was more worried than before. "What is it...?" Kanda looked at him and decided he couldn't look him in the eye and tell him. It was...too much...Kanda would fall apart and crumble into nothing. If there was anything left.

"D-don't look at me... I don't want you to look at me when I tell you." Lavi sat facing away from Kanda with his legs crossed on the bed. Kanda sat on his knees and leaned against Lavi's back. "This isn't because I don't trust you Lavi...it's because I can't stand to see what you'll think of me when I tell you..."

Kanda imagined telling Lavi face to face, eye to eye. Every time he did it ended up in Lavi staring down at him with disgust evident on his face. Kanda didn't want that. He didn't want Lavi to think any less of him. But that was inevitable.

"Lavi...it's taking me a lot of guts to say this...and it's probably going to be one of the hardest things to say in my life... I really do hope that you don't think of me any differently."

Lavi nodded his head solemly and closed his good eye. He focused all of his hearing on what Kanda was saying.

Kanda took a big gulp and waited a few seconds. He closed his eyes for a minute then sat up on his knees and leaned more onto Lavi's back so he could whisper in his ear. This close he could feel Lavi's heart racing with anticipation. Lavi was anxious and he couldn't understand what it was that Kanda wanted to say, or why it was taking him so damn long.

"Lavi..."

"Yes...Yu?"

Swallowing hard again Kanda let more tears run down his face before he finally whispered so low Lavi wasn't sure that he had heard it. "Tyki raped me..."

Lavi's eye widened with disbelief. His heart rate spiked and his palms got sweaty, he could feel adrenaline coursing through his veins and he suddenly had a great urge to hunt down Tyki and make the bastard suffer before killing him off. He supressed the feeling though, and his aura. If he let it out now then Kanda would get scared, run off and probably wouldn't come back for a long while.

Kanda got up and sat in the corner of the bed. He grabbed his pillow and wrapped his legs and arms around it before resing his head on it. Lavi had sat completely still, hadn't said a word, or even taken a breath. Kanda was starting to get worried.

He hadn't expected it but the bed shook a bit and Lavi turned to him with tears coming from his eyes, even the one with the patch over it. He pulled Kanda into a hug and tossed the pillow aside. Kanda hadn't expected this, he expected Lavi to get up and leave him there to drown in his sin.

"L-lavi?" Lavi didn't respond, but he sat there holding Kanda and he didn't let go. It seemed like hours had passed until Lavi finally let go of him. "Yu...is that why you were so freaked out about Allen and General Tiedoll?" Kanda nodded solemly,"I didn't see them as them...I saw them as Tyki...coming to get me...to beat me...torture me and rape me..."

Lavi wiped his eyes and took Kanda's hands. "Who else knows?" His voice was shaky and his good eye was rimmed with red.

"I told the nurse...that's why she left crying..." Lavi nodded. "But, why did you decide to tell me? Why not keep it to yourself and hide it away until it was inevitable that we would find out?"

_This is it... Is it? Is this where I tell him I love him? I though I'd at least be in my normal body, somewhere not in my room when it's cold, he's crying, and I feel as dirty as hell... But maybe if I tell him he'll feel happier...or maybe he'll feel more disgusted... I wonder if he's really sad... But then again I've only ever seen Lavi sad a few times... He really does feel pain for what happened... Am i going to tell him...?_

As Kanda was pondering on whether or not he should tell him Lavi asked another question. "Are you going to tell anyone else?"

He looked up at the red-head. "I was going to...eventually...I wanted you to know first though... I wanted you to be the first..."

Lavi let a small smile grow. "Thanks Yu, but ya wanna tell me why you chose me to tell first?" He wanted to know, it was killing him inside and he needed to know!

Kanda still felt dirty, horribly dirty. He didn't want to feel this way before he told Lavi. "I'll tell you, but...I can still feel Tyki on me...can we wash up first...?" Lavi smiled and nodded. "Alright, I'll go get some more of Bookman's clothes and meet you in the washroom ok?" Kanda looked away before rubbing his arm uncomfortably.

"Oh, that's right, you don't really want to be alone do you? Do you get claustriphobic?" Kanda nodded. "Before you came I was having a panic attack... I don't think being alone would help me anymore than being in a room filled with people... I thought it would be ok you know? Cuz there are so many people and I knew that Tyki wouldn't appear in front of a group of people like that. But I couldn't help it. Tyki's embedded himself into the deep confines of my mind and I can't get him out..."

"Listen Yu, I know you probably won't want it, but I want to help you get revenge for what Tyki did ok? And maybe if you're ready to tell the others, they can help too." Kanda approved of the idea, his family would be helping him out, getting revenge for their family member. He was wrong when he said that none of them cared about him, he'd have to apologize to Komui later.

_Gee, me apologizing to Komui? You really fucked me up Tyki... _After leaving Bookman's room with a new set of clean clothes the pair headed to the baths. Once there Lavi turned away from Kanda to let the boy decently undress himself before slipping himself into the warm hotspring bath. Lavi set the clothes out on a bench and made sure that both of them had towels before doing the same.

He let Kanda ease up a little, let his muscles relax from all of the stress and the steam was a comforting setting. He eventually ended up washing Kanda's hair with shampoo and conditioner because he couldn't stand to watch Kanda wash his hair with soap. It felt so silky and smooth running through his fingers and landing in the water before spreading about like smoke. He washed his hair then, then Kanda's back and in return Kanda washed his. When they were both clean he let Kanda get out first and waited until he gave the go- ahead to get out himself.

When he pulled himself out from the water and wrapped the towel around his waist he noticed Kanda was standing behind one of the Japanese room dividers changing into the clean clothes. Lavi dressed himself and called out,"I'm done," so Kanda could come out himself.

They both sat on the bench and stared of into the paths of the spring while watching the water flow from the small waterfalls.

"Yu, are you going to tell me why you picked me?"

Kanda nodded and felt his heart rate spike. He was nervous, but that was ok, right? He looked at Lavi. _I have to tell him face to face. This isn't like last time. I know he doesn't think of me as disgusting or anything now. If he denies my love...then that's what happens, I'd rather have him know than keep it to myself forever..._

"Lavi..."

"Yes, Yu?"

"...I love you..."

* * *

**Bwahahahaha! I have finished the chapter! Reviews? I don't even see why I bother asking any more since NO ONE DOES IT! Except for Kagome. Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Lavi- I love Yu too!**

**Kanda- That's not funny Lavi!**

**Lavi- But it's cute! I love Yu~**

**Kanda- I'm going to castrate you...**

**Lavi- No you won't, cuz you know you want some of this**

**Kanda- O/****O**

**Darxetta- Hehehehe, yes there will be smut involved...**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10- Love Hurts

**Hello pplz! =D I am exremely happy! I finally got reviews from more than two people! I am happy~ oh so happy~ -ahem- anyway, here's chapter 10! Kagome was dying for me to write it and I couldn't help myself, I just had to do it for her! **

**Lavi- Well wudya look at that!**

**Kanda- What?**

**Lavi- Darxetta's in a good mood today**

**Kanda- Yeah, cuz she finally got some reviews**

**Lavi- Oh Yu!**

**Kanda- Nani?**

**Lavi- I hope I can have you...**

**Kanda- ...**

**Darxetta- Hey hey! None of that! -murmurs so the two don't hear- ...not yet anyway...**

**Lavi- Do we even have to do Disclaimer anymore?**

**Kanda- Who cares, just do it. No I will. Disclaimer- Darxetta doesn't own anything!**

* * *

Kanda swallowed harshly. His heart was beating so fast and loud that he was sure Lavi could hear it from a mile away. _I can't believe I just told him! What's wrong with me! I tell him I get raped and this is the next thing he hears! Stupid..._

Lavi hadn't blinked, hadn't taken a breath, hadn't moved an inch. Kanda was now aware that there wasn't any movement coming from Lavi. _Gee, I'm not that bad... Am I...? _Kanda shuddered at the idea that Lavi would push him away, he was the only person Kanda felt safe around and he didn't want that to be taken from him. He didn't want Lavi to leave his side and abandon him.

If they could have seen the sky Kanda could have judged how much time they sat there by the movement of the sun. But he couldn't tell. There was only his breathing and the trickling water from the hotspring that gave off the comforting atmosphere, but Kanda's words had made it intense and the steam wasn't helping much.

He was getting hot and dizzy, too much steam, not to mention the fact that he was still recovering from... well you get the point. Kanda swallowed again, this time because of the dryness in his throat. Not being able to stand looking at Lavi any longer Kanda averted his eyes. He eventually looked down, turned away. Still no response. Now he was worried that what he had said killed Lavi. _Oh god no, please no. _

He waved his hand in front of the red-heads face. Still no response. He gave up, he wasn't going to get anything from him, not now and not ever. He stood and headed for the door. Before he was even a foot away a hand had reached out and latched onto his wrist. He was pulled quite harshly to a warm large body. He pulled away enough to be able to meet the eye of the one he loved. He opened his mouth to talk, but what he got in turn made him more happy than he could ever be.

Lavi's lips pressed against his in a soft chaste kiss. Kanda felt a shudder run down his spine and he leaned forward onto Lavi deepening the kiss. The red-head let go of Kanda's wrist and wrapped his arms around the small body before pulling him onto his lap. He slid his hand up Kanda's back before resting it on the back of the boys head. Kanda slowly extended his arms to wrap them around Lavi's neck and linking his hands.

He pulled back and took in a great breath of air. Lavi had a huge smile plastered onto his face and he laughed a bit. "W-what are you laughing for usagi?" Said man pulled Kanda closer to him and whispered in his ear. "I'm laughing for because of how red you are, I'm guessing I was your first kiss?" Kanda didn't believe him so he pushed him off before running into the changing rooms to look into a mirror. When he did he met eye to eye with a young boy whos cheeks were tainted red, eyes a bit glazed over, and some barely chapped lips.

Behind the boy a red-head appeared with the same big smile. He wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist and picked him up before setting him on his shoulders and holding his ankles. "W-what are you doing?" He leaned forward a bit and put his hands on Lavi's head so he wouldn't fall forward. "I'm giving you a ride, what do ya think I'm doin?" With this said Lavi turned and left the room, not without ducking of course or little Kanda would have hit his head on the door frame. We wouldn't want that now would we?

The pair wandered around the Order for a time, every now and then passersby would look at them but continue on their way. Kanda couldn't believe it, some of them brushed shoulders with Lavi and were really close, but not once did he feel insecure. He was as calm as he was before and he was so happy that Lavi had accepted him. _Speaking of which..._

Kanda leaned forward again,"Lavi...," he whispered the next part,"I told you I loved you, but you never said you loved me back." He said it quiet enough that Lavi had barely heard. "I know I like Yu, but I'm not so sure about love yet..." Lavi's words made Kanda's stomach drop a little. It was kind of like rejection, but it wasn't. Lavi still liked him, it was almost the same, but not the same. He had a crush on him then huh? Well... that's better than nothing right? Kanda would just have to take what he had, make the best of it, and make Lavi change his mind.

Lavi wouldn't like him in the slightest bit. He would love him, and he was sure of it. That's what he hoped for anyway. People do change, and so do their feelings. Kanda became lost in the internal arguement that went on and on debating whether or not Lavi would love him or not. Neither side was winning and Kanda felt a bit silly at the thought of arguing with himself. He was pulled out of his trance by the most sexy voice he had ever heard before. Lavi's.

"Yu! Are you listening?"

"Ah, sorry, no. I was just thinking about something..." Lavi, with the smile still present, looked up at Kanda. "Would that something happen to be me?" Kanda's cheeks burned with slight emberassment. He abruptly folded his arms across his chest before turning his gaze away.

Lavi let out a laugh before tugging slightly on Kanda's small ankle. "I knew it! You w_ere _thinking about me huh?" Kanda narrowed his eyes. Kanda didn't give a response. Lavi's laugh faded and his smile receded. "Yu...I seriously have something to talk to you about..." Kanda relaxed his arms, dropping them before placing them on Lavi's head. He turned to him again and frowned. "What's wrong L-avi...?" _Love..._ That's what he had wanted to say, but the red-head didn't feel the same, and that would only make things akward between them.

"Listen Yu, this is really important ok...?" Kanda swallowed hard and his stomach dropped at the seriousness in Lavi's voice. Lavi put Kanda down and took his small hand before holding it in both of his larger ones. "Listen Yu, I like you, and if we get together and stay together then I might even fall in love with you." Kanda's hopes lifted with each word, Lavi said _if _we get together. That means he has a chance.

"But I still have duties as a Bookman..." All of the hope Kanda held in his little heart was drained and there was pain there that made him hold in the urge to throw up. He could feel a hole growing and it was taking every part of him with it. Everything was going in, but nothing was going to come out. He looked down, his eyes dark and his bangs covering his eyes. Behind his veil his eyes watered and he pulled his hand out of Lavi's.

That was the one thing that he hadn't taken into account. Lavi wasn't allowed to Love, none of the Bookmen were, it was how they were raised and taught. They didn't stay in one place very long, they didn't choose sides, they didn't find love and settle down to have a family. The gathered information, they stood on the sidelines and watched everything go by. There wasn't time to love in a Bookman's life. That's all there is to it. Bookman himself had forbidden Lavi to love, though he hit on all the girls all the time.

His little heart broke and he felt numbness flowing through the veins from his heart and spreading out to every inch in his body. "Yu...?" Kanda turned away from Lavi, finally allowing the tears to spill over. He sniffled and whispered so quietly that Lavi wasn't sure he heard it. "Even so, you have my heart..." Then he ran off. As he ran Kanda closed off his mind, he shut everything and everyone out. If he took note of his surroundings then he would have surely had a panic attack.

* * *

Lavi's heart ached as he strained to hear Kanda's broken words. He had hurt Kanda, and he had hurt him bad. He thought it was better this way though, he didn't want to fall in love, get settled in with Kanda and make him as happy as he could with him. If he did that, then he'd only hurt Kanda more when Bookman and him had to leave...

His heart ached even more when Kanda ran off, he stood up and took a couple steps forward, contemplating whether or not he should go after him. He would, just not now, he needed some time to himself, so that he could think out what he wanted to say and do before he actually did any of it. A couple of the passersby looked at him, but he ignored them and slowly walked after Kanda, having no intention to chase him down, or to rush the time the boy needed.

If he could choose whether or not to be a Bookman he would have said no. If only he had understood more about what he was getting into. But it was all too late, he was already a Bookman, he'd been through too much to quit now, and even if he had wanted to, Bookman wouldn't let him. He has chosen this path himself, and he was going to walk it. No matter what. Even...even if it meant breaking Kanda's heart... which he had already done.

Speaking of the devil, Bookman was walking beside him, but since he was so out of it he didn't even notice. "Lavi, what are you doing?" Lavi blinked a few times before looking down at the old panda. Bookman looked up at the younger of the two and took note of the pained look in his eyes. "What's wrong with you boy?" Lavi shook his head. Bookman would only yell at him about it, then he'd go on and on about what he'd gotten himself into and why this and why that and blah blah blah!

"It's nothing Bookman..." The shorter of the two stopped midstep and watched as the red-head continued onward. He had just called him Bookman, something that he had never done, not in his whole life of knowing the red-head. He had a suspicion that something was going on, but Lavi wasn't telling him for a reason, and he had a feeling that it was something sentimental. This was not good, Lavi needed to be level minded, more focused on the task at hand, not whatever the hell it was he's getting into.

Bookman rushed and caught up to Lavi, he opened his mouth to speak, but Lavi beat him to it. "I know what you're gonna say. This isn't the time to be getting sentimental and this and that, you're gonna say that I don't have a right to have feelings or choose a side. You're gonna say that I have to remain focused on the path that I've chosen and that I can't make any mistakes for the long history of Bookman. I'm an important part in this lineage and blah blah blah. I don't gotta hear it again jiji."

Bookman was surprised by Lavi's outburst. He'd never cut him off or even gotten angry about the things that he had said, even if he had to repeat them on countless occasions. There was a tone in Lavi's voice, one that said that he was angry, hurt, and that he didn't want to talk abotu this at the moment. Not that he usually liked to talk about it anyway. Bookman stopped in his spot and watched as Lavi walked away. He glanced around and gave a level stare to any one that passed by and they all eventually left the hall. When he was sure that no one was there he called out to Lavi. "Who is it?"

Lavi stopped walking and pivoted on his heal. "Who is what?" Bookman walked closer to Lavi and the boy waited for him to get close enough before folding his hands on the back of his head and leaning against the wall while propping up his right leg. Bookman dropped his arms to his sides and closed his dark eyes momentarily before saying,"Who is the one that you're thinking about right now? Why? And will it stop?"

Lavi shut his trap and thought about a response, it wouldn't really help if he lied, if he did Bookman would just beat him up and he wasn't really in the mood for joking around. "I'm thinking of a samurai, because he told me something important today and I hurt him, and no. It won't stop. Not now and not ever." Bookman opened his eyes,"Why are you thinking about Kanda?" Lavi shook his head,"I have my reasons and my secrets, just like you do. I don't pry about yours and you don't pry about mine."

Bookman was becoming more and more speechless. The words Lavi was saying were mature and he was serious about this. He had to ask this question, this one question. Even if Lavi didn't answer he would be able to tell from the look on his face. "Do you love Kanda?" Lavi raised his gaze to Bookmans and stared at him with a blank expression for a moment. "No, I don't love him. I like him though, and it would be nice to fall in love."

"Bu-" Bookman started. "But I, as a Bookman, am not allowed to love, not allowed to give love, not allowed to choose sides, not allowed to do anything that will impair my job as becoming a Bookman and passing down everything I know to the next generation. Blah blah blah, I've heard it a thousand times and I'm sick of it. I know what I have to do and I'm doin my damn job so quit complaining already."

With that Lavi pushed himself from his perch and continued walking in the direction Kanda ran off into. He was sure that Bookman was going to be angry with him and he'd probably get a mouthful of it later when he went to bed. Maybe he shouldn't sleep in his room tonight... Maybe he could sleep with Kanda. The samurai would probably feel better sleeping with someone he trusted anyway. Oh, but...there was that problem. You know, the one where he just broke the kids heart a couple minutes ago? Yeah, that one.

* * *

Kanda had locked himself in a room, he didn't know what it was or what it had in it. All he cared about was the fact that he couldn't see anything, no one could see him, it didn't stink, he could breathe, and he could lie down. He closed his eyes and hugged himself. The claustriphobia was going to start kicking in. He didn't care, more tears left now wet trials down Kanda's cheeks. How could it be that he's so happy one moment in his life, but the next everything is sent to hell?

Silently Kanda wished that Alma had taken him with him that faithful night nine years ago. It was a breif thought and Kanda dismissed it. He didn't really regret anything up until this point. Except for two things. One, that he had killed Alma, and two, he had told Lavi that he loved him...

He jumped in surprise when there was a little knock on the door. Kanda knew it was Lavi, he could tell. His scent wafted into the room from the cracks under the door. The clean smell of a deep husky spice wafted into the room and Kanda inhaled deeply, savoring the schent. He slowly opened the door but kept his gaze downshifted with his eyes averted. He couldn't look Lavi in the eye.

Lavi stepped aside for Kanda and he walked past the red-head without so much as a second glance. _I gave you my heart to protect it Lavi, not to break it. I trusted you with it and you failed to keep a promise... One that you never made. Guess that's my fault huh...?_

"Yu..." Kanda shook his head. He didn't wanna talk to Lavi. He didn't have anything to say to the red-head. "C'mon just hear me out..." Kanda turned to him and glared fiercly, so much that Lavi took a step back. "Hear you out about what! Not like you could say anything to fix it Lavi! I know you're a Bookman! I know you can't love and that you can't stay here! I know that you're going to be leaving at any damn moment! But guess what! I gave you my heart to protect it! But guess what you did! You tore it out of my chest and ripped it to shreds! I gave it to you so could could protect it, not destroy it!" Halfway through Kanda's rant he began to cry again. God he'd been doing way too much of that lately.

Lavi bit his lip. He wanted to say something back, he had a right too, and he should. But if he opened his big mouth now then he was going to yell, and he didn't wanna do that to Kanda. "Listen Yu...I know ok? I didn't mean to hurt you. I can't help that this is what I'm stuck doing. I've already chosen it and I've commited so much of myself to it already, I can't turn back now... Not after I've come so far..." Kanda shook his head. "...I don't know what to say to you Lavi, I don't have anything to say to you..."

"...Where are you going to sleep tonight?" Lavi asked feeling sour. The samurai faced away from Lavi, he seemed much more calmer now than he was before. "I'm not going to sleep." Lavi laughed inwardly, _I doubt that. That little body of yours needs to heal up, you're not like you were a couple weeks ago Kanda, you're a kid now. Since you need to get fixed up you'll naturally fall asleep whether you want to or not. _

Kanda walked down the halls and once again Lavi trailed after him. They were heading to the resting rooms, the one with all of the couches facing this way and that. When they reached their destination Lavi waited until Kanda was seated before taking a seat on the next couch, but close enough as he could be to Kanda.

The two boys sat in silence for a long time, neither knowing what to say, how to start, where the conversation would lead to. "I waited for you..." broke the silence, it's voice with a slightly high pitch but not threatening, more like, a childs. Kanda's, go figure. Lavi turned his head to Kanda but didn't say anything, he didn't think he had to. "I was waiting for you, hoping you'd be the one to save me... In a way you did... Whenever Tyki came in I'd think about you somehow getting in, beating the shit out of Tyki, and taking me away before hiding out with me, healing me and falling in love with me... It was a stupid thought... it still is, but...that's just how much I love you Lavi..."

Lavi folded his hands in his lap. When Kanda said that he was supposed to say, _I love Yu too_, and make a pun out of it. If he did that then Kanda would turn red, get all emberassed and shy and they would probably make-out, which would lead him to looking like a pedophile. Well god knows how many people already thought that...

"I'm sorry Yu, I really am..." Kanda sighed. He sat back in the seat and curled up to the arm rest. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and yawned while stretching out a little bit. Lately it's been quiet, no moyashii, no Lenalee, no Komui, no anyone. Kanda was wondering what was going on, but he didn't really care. He was with Lavi, the one he loved, even if he couldn't love him back, it was something, right?

Lavi had laid back as well, his head resting on one end of the couch on the arm rest while his body lay in the center of the couch and his feet propped up on the other arm rest. Or leg rest as it were... It was comfortable and warm, you didn't need a blanket because the room was just naturally warm that way and the cushions were so soft you didn't even need pillows. The thought that finders sometimes slept in here crept into his mind and he chuckled a bit.

once curled up in the corner of the couch with his head on the arm rest but now he was tossed on the couch, one arm covering his eyes, the other hanging from the side of the couch, one of his legs bent upward slightly and the other also hanging off the side. Lavi, with his camera like memory, 'took a picture'. He imprinted it into his mind so he'd never forget how cute Kanda looked at that moment.

He'd look even cuter if- Lightbulb. A new idea sprung into Lavi's mind and he suddenly didn't care about what Bookman had bitched to him about, or what he was _going _to bitch to him about. He got up and looked around hazerdously before sprinting to Lenalee's room. He talked with her for a few minutes before whispering something in her ear. She nodded eagerly, let him in, and shut the door tightly.

After a good half hour or so Lavi and Lenalee emerged with much needed neccessities, and smiles on their faces. He had broken Kanda's heart, yet Kanda still loved him. Now Lavi was going to fix that, he was going to protect Kanda's heart, he was going to help it grow, he was going to make Kanda love him forever. He should have done it in the first place, but everyone learns from their mistakes. Lavi learned his lesson, and lucky for him, he had enough time to fix it. He hadn't completely ruined his chances of fixing Kanda.

When they arrived at the resting rooms Lenalee had shoo-ed Lavi away before turning to Kanda to get started.

* * *

**The Next Day:**

Kanda yawned and stretched, he arched his back off the couch and rubs his eyes slowly and tiredly. He sat up and took a moment to gather his surroundings. The first thing he spotted was a pair of little white heals placed upon his feet with a light blue ribbon that tied down the strap to the other side of the shoe to make it securely stay on. Next thing he noticed was the white tights he was wearing which led up to the dress. Kanda jumped up and looked down at the dress. The top was sleavless and on his mid-chest there was a blue ribbon which wrapped around him and tied to his back. Past that the dress frilled out and the bottom was lined with the same baby blue as the ribbon on his mid-chest and shoes. He blushed slightly and moved his hands up to touch the dress. On his right wrist was two baby blue bracelets with a lovely white rose vine design on them. On his left wrist was the purple beaded bracelet that he always wore.

Moving his hands up farther he noticed his hair was not in a pony tail, but rather in two. He touched each of the tails and soon came to realize that there were _more _ribbons in his hair. These ones were longer and twisted into his hair which made a cute look of curl thrown in there. He looked around and was glad that no one was there to see him. He looked like a girl! He looked around for Lavi. _Oh god please don't let him be around!_

Kanda cautiosly walked toward the hallway and cringed at the _click click click _of the small heals he was wearing. Where did his clothes go? Before he could continue onwards a strong pair of arms wraped around his lithe waist and lifted him into the air. He was pulled to whomever was holding him until his back was against said mans chest. He was breathing on the back of Kanda's neck and it made him shudder but he felt comfortable in this mans arms. Lavi.

"Good morning, Yu."

Kanda was going to go off on Lavi, he wanted to know why he was in a damn dress and who had had the audacity to change him.

Lavi wasn't finished yet though.

"Have I told Yu lately that I love Yu?"

* * *

**And there you have it ladies and (maybe) gentlemen! I really hope you enjoy this chapter! I personally think it's my favorite one by far. I love how I did the ending, Kanda waking up in a cute little dress, Lavi picking him up and saying those three words that our little Kanda has been dying to hear! It's so cute! AHHHH! **

**Lavi- We're having some technical diffictulites**

**Kanda- If you mean Darxetta freaking out about how 'cute' it is then yes**

**Lavi- Don't say 'cute', it's cute!**

**Kanda- No it's not!**

**Lavi- Yes it is!**

**Kanda- No! It's n- **

**Lavi kisses Kanda softly on the lips. **

**Lavi- It's cute**

**Kanda- -/-**

**Darxetta- , yes, it is cute, and very hot...**

**Hope you enjoyed, if you want review, if not, smeh**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- The Secret's Out

**Hello readers~! I sincerily hoped that you all enjoyed chapter 10! I know Kagome did, she re-read it about a million times XD. Anyway, here's chapter 11.**

**Lavi- *heart eyes* I love Yu~!**

**Kanda- Stop making puns with my name!**

**Lavi- But it's true! **

**Kanda- I don't care! Enough with the puns! Say it normal!**

**Lavi- But I do love Yu!**

**Kanda- *growls and turns away* Disclaimer, Darxetta doesn't own anything**

**Lavi- TT~TT *being ignored***

**Darxetta- ...Uh huh, anyway, enjoy! **

* * *

Kanda froze, like Lavi had when he told him how he felt. He didn't know what to say, how to react, how to feel. But there was this warming sensation that crept up his body, he felt englufed by warmth. It wasn't Lavi, that was a different kind of sensation, but this was...something inside of him. He thought for a while, and he still couldn't put his finger on what it was.

"...Lavi, I feel warm inside... But I don't know what it is. What is it?" Kanda asked feeling shy now. Lavi leaned down so Kanda could stand properly, but he still held him to his chest in a hug. "Yu, It's called Love." Kanda blushed more than he was before, he felt like a tomato, probably looked like one too.

On the other side of one of the stone pillars, Lenalee smiled in triumph. She stepped out form her hiding spot, Lavi knew she was there, but Kanda didn't. Lavi eventually let go of Kanda and turned to Lenalee with a big smile on his face. "Thanks so much Lenalee, you did a great job! He looks so cute!" Kanda, if it was even possible, blushed even more. Then realization hit him. "W-wait! Lenalee did this!" he asked surprised, gesturing to himself. Said girl smiled widely and nodded. "You bet I did. It seemed fitting, and you just look too cute!"

She stepped over to the pair then leaned down in front of Kanda. "Kanda, Lavi told me you were having difficutlies with being around people." He felt the urge to step back away from her, not because of her or what she had done, but because of Tyki. He nodded slowly. "So I wanted to _ask _you first instead. So that way you feel more comfortable." Kanda hadn't thought of that. He didn't need Lavi to ask, he felt completely safe around him. It was everyone else he hated coming near him.

"Ask what..." he said hesitantly. "Can I hold you?" More than anything Kanda was quite surprised by the question. He didn't expect that, out of all of the things she could have said it was that. He looked down for a moment and thought about how he'd feel if she did. Lavi was right here, right next to him. He reached out and took a hold of Lavi's hand, he looked up at Lenalee then. He trusted her, he'd always been there for her, and now she wanted to be there for him. Kanda had known Lenalee his whole life, and he knew that she could never be who he felt everyone else was.

He released Lavi's hands and walked over to Lenalee holding his arms out. Lavi beamed at him and grew heart eyes. "Yu! You're just too damn CUTE!" Kanda tried his best to ignore the comment. Lenalee let a smile grace her face and she put her hands on Kanda's sides, looked at him for a moment, and when he didn't say anything against it, she picked him up. "Wow Kanda, you're so light!" The blush that had faded from Kanda's face was growing once again. She pulled Kanda to her and held him, craddling his head and swaying a bit from side to side. Kanda lay his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes feeling comfortable.

For several moments they stayed like that. "Kanda, you do know that we all love and care for you right?" Kanda had a moment of doubt. "Who do you mean when you say all?" Kanda had remembered the day that Tyki had taken him. The finders, all of them, turned against him. He was betrayed by them. They fought against the exorcists to make sure he was out of their hair, out of their way so they didn't have to deal with his shit any longer. "The finders turned against me...you know that right?" Lavi glared a bit and the look didn't fit his usually happy face.

"That's right, when we were trying to get Yu away from Tyki they turned on us and began to push us back. If it wasn't for them then I guarantee that we would have gotten Kanda back." Lenalee stopped rocking Kanda and shifted him so he was sitting on her arm facing Lavi who had taken a camera out, from nowhere, and started taking pictures. Kanda's small blushed turned fiercly red and he jumped out of Lenalee's arms at Lavi trying to get the camera away.

On Kanda's trip down, everything seemed to play in slow motion, and the camera still went off. The ribbons un-knotted from Kanda's hair and all of it let loose and spread out like a wild fire. When Kanda finally hit Lavi they both fell back on the floor, in a very...promising position. Lavi, one knee up, his hands lay on either side of his head. Kanda, straddling Lavi's chest, leaning forward so his hair made a curtain around the pair of them, and his hands next to Lavi's, to keep him balanced.

Behind them Kanda could hear Lenalee squeal and he swallowed in emberassment. Lavi smirked up at Kanda and he felt heat creeping up his neck. It wasn't just an ordinary smirk, god forbid that, it was one of the most sexy looks that Kanda had ever seen displayed on his red-heads face. Did you catch that? Maybe I should repeat that, _his _red-heads face. He seemed like he was seme now, but would that happen in the future? Would they even do _that_? Kanda wasn't sure, and he didn't know if he wanted to let it happen. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. It all depended on whether or not he got over Tyki, or rather, what Tyki had done to him.

Kanda leaned on his right arm and brought up his left. He ever so lightly moved Lavi's eye patch out of the way. "Open it..." Lavi did as he was told and he looked at Kanda with both of his eyes. "Can you...see out of it?" Lavi let out a laugh,"Yes." Kanda didn't believe him, the eye was a pale green. Lavi closed it and Kanda leaned forward before kissing it. He moved down a little bit and kissed the tip of Lavi's nose, before finally giving the red-head a small kiss on the lips. But Lavi wanted more than that. He manuevered one of his arms under Kanda and brought it around to rest on the back of the boys head before pushing down slightly and deepening the kiss.

Lenalee let out a gasp and she blushed just as much as Kanda had. Kanda stopped and sat up looking at her. He started to shake his head and his hands,"I-it's not what it looks like! T-that was! I! Uh... That... We... You... I... Mmh..." Lavi laughed at Kanda's loss for words. Lavi sat up and wrapped his arms around Kanda's lower back so he wouldn't tumble off his lap. Lenalee, still shocked, pointed at the two of them. "Are you...?" "I just told him I loved him, today,"Lavi said simply. He reached up and fixed his eyepatch.

Lenalee smiled,"So that's why you wanted me to dress him up all cute! I get it! But, for how long?" Lavi shrugged and looked at Kanda. "I realized that I liked him the day he was taken from us, but I dunno how long Yu's loved me for." Kanda was still out of it, he had a blank look on his face and was still mumbling incoherant things. Lavi slid his hand under Kanda's chin and forced him to look at him, he licked Kanda's lips and kissed him soflty. Kanda blinked and leaned into the kiss whilst closing his eyes.

The red-head pulled back and Kanda wanted to smack him for it. "How long have Yu loved me for?" Kanda glared at him,"Stop with the puns already!" Lenalee and Lavi laughed,"Seriously Yu! How long have you loved me?" Kanda looked down feeling bashful and poked his fingers together. "W-well..." Lavi in turn, tilted his head to the side in utter curiousity. "Well what, Yu? Come on, tell us." The samurai puffed out on of his cheeks and looked away from both of them, he blew out the air in his mouth and fiddled with part of the ruffles in his dress. "I've always loved you Lavi..."

Lavi couldn't smile anymore, it was starting to hurt his face and he couldn't keep it up, but Kanda was just way too cute! He stood up and threw Kanda into the air before catching him in his hands. Kanda and let out a small yelp and when Lavi caught him he wrapped his arms around the red-heads neck and his legs around his torso. "Kanda! You can't do that in a dress!" Lenalee had said while laughing. Kanda, though nobody else knew, had enjoyed that, he was smiling and he wanted to laugh.

"...Do it again Lavi..." he said feeling emberassed. Lavi could only continue to smile and he placed his hands under Kanda's arms, and threw him up again. This time Kanda let him see his smile. It was a sincere smile, one that reached his eyes. Lavi loved it, and he loved how his little samurai's eyes lit up, and how he seemed to glow and radiate happiness. He caught him and did it again and this time Kanda closed his eyes and laughed.

Lenalee smiled brightly and let out a few laughs of her own. It was cute, the two of them together having fun like this. She loved it and she never wanted this moment to stop. But everything comes to an end. The trio heard footsteps approaching and Lavi set Kanda on the ground, in which he hid behind Lavi feeling, once again, emberassed, but this time it was because he was still wearing a dress.

The three of them crept up to the corner and Kanda hated how you could hear his shoes click on the floor. They all leaned against the wall and looked around the corner. There was no one there, that was wierd. "What are you guys doing?" came from behind them. The other direction! Kanda was the first to turn to look at the person. He regretted it, so dearly.

It was General Tiedoll. He looked away and turned to leave. "Ah w-wait! General!" Tiedoll turned to look at Kanda but stopped and continued, then he started to walk away. Kanda swallowed hard and ran in front of the general to stop him. He held out his arms and his eyes were hard, but filled with determination. "I'm sorry! Can I explain to you what happened before our relationship gets even worse that it is now?" He gave Tiedoll the most sincere look on his face and instead of letting him answer he ran up to him and threw his arms around him.

It didn't do much good since he only went up to the lower part of the general's chest, and his arms couldn't completely go around him, but he did it as best as he could. He closed his eyes tightly and gripped his shirt. "I'm sorry general! Please just hear me out! Let me tell you what happened! I... I don't want you to hate me too..." Tiedoll stared down at Kanda surprised, he smiled soflty and patted Kanda's head before leaning down and hugging the boy back. "Alright, I'm all ears Yu-kun." Kanda, slightly ticked off at Tiedoll's nickname, let it slide this one time.

"I should probably tell Komui too...so let's go to his office ok?" He pulled back a little and looked at Lavi, then at Lenalee. _She probably wants to know too, I'll tell her... _"Lenalee, Lavi, I want you guys there too, although Lavi already knows." Lenalee straightened up and inside she felt happy that Kanda trusted her with something. She didn't know what she was going to hear though, and she wasn't prepared for it, neither were Tiedoll or Komui.

* * *

Komui was once again settled behind his desk with Tiedoll at his side, Lavi and Kanda were on the couch, same position, Kanda sitting as close to Lavi as possible, only this time Lenalee was sitting on the desk and swinging her legs back and forth. No one could tell but she was gripping the edges of the desk so hard that her knuckles were white. Komui had his hands folded in his lap and his fingers were tapping the backs of his hands. Tiedoll had his hands shoved in his pockets and he was biting his lip while playing with the change he had in his pocket.

You could pracitally feel the tension and anxiety in the room. Kanda sat there for a moment before looking down and making his hair cover his eyes. The rest of it was down and it formed a cloak around him. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out, he closed it, took a deep breath and finally said it. "Tyki raped me..."

There was complete silence in the room. Lenalee gripped the edge of the desk harder, and it broke under her grip, the crack echoed around the room. Komui stopped tapping his fingers. Tiedoll bit down harder on his lip, which made it bleed, and his hands froze in his pockets. The three of them looked at Kanda, who had his head hung low and the shadows from his hair covered his face. Lavi was a little tense and he had to fight the urge to go back to the Noah and beat the living shit out of Tyki. That would happen, all in due time. He was more concerned with Kanda at the moment.

"I...I see. I'm sorry I frightened you then..." came Tiedoll's voice. Kanda looked up at him, his eyes sad and once again he felt dirty. The general leaned down on one knee and held open his arms. Kanda got down from the couch and ran over to him with watery eyes. "Oh my son... My son..." Tiedolls' voice cracked and he held Kanda tight against him. The samurai cried into his chest and he could feel the little droplets from Tiedoll hitting the top of his head. Lenalee got down from her seat and walked over to the pair quietly before joining the hug and letting her own tears free. Komui pushed back his chair and walked around the desk before he too joined the group hug and let his own river of tears fly out from his eyes dramatically.

Lavi remained seated, this was something for all of them to let out. But even so, he still let tears fall from his eyes. After everyone wore out their tear ducts they released each other but stayed close. Kanda sat on the floor next to the general, the dress was spread out around him and his feet were barely visible. He blushed at his appearance and that's when the general broke. He wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist and pulled him too him before shouting out,"You're just too cute! In that little blue flutter dress with those cute little heals and the blue bow with your long hair down and the blush on your face! God if you were my daughter I would kill any man that even looked at you! I love you so much!"

Kanda sweat dropped and looked over at Lavi laughing a little bit. Lavi on the other hand had turned away hugging his knees to his chest with depression marks running down the side of his head. He let one of his hands out to poke at the newly grown mushrooms that he prodded at sadly. Komui turned to him with a straight face,"Lavi don't grow mushrooms on my couch! It's un-manly an-" he stopped himself thinking for a moment. "Lavi, Kanda, do you guys have something e_lse _to say that we should know about?"

The pair of them froze. Their heads cranked slowly to Komui and their jaws dropped. _Oh god! Has Komui figured us out _already_! This is bad! Really bad! _

Tiedoll released Kanda, and looked over at Lavi suspiciously. "Well?" Kanda pulled away from the general and was, ironically, standing in the middle of everyone. "Uh... nope. Nothing at all, that's all I had to say." Tiedoll stood up and nodded in agreement. "I guess we'll be going now then..." Komui nodded as well,"Alright, but I would like to speak to Lavi, Lenalee, and Tiedoll for a moment, you wouldn't mind that would you Kanda?" Kanda fixed his dress with a small blush before turning to Komui. "I don't mind, but make it quick,"he turned to Lavi,"I'll be in my room, ok?" The red-head, who was no longer growing mushrooms on the couch, smiled,"Yeah, I'll meet you there soon."

Kanda hesitanlty went to the door and frowed when he saw it was slightly ajar. They must have left it partially opened, not like it mattered since Kanda hadn't said anything loud. He shrugged it off and left the room and closed the door tightly. He look a right and headed toward his room, standing close to the walls and trying to stay in the shadows. The bright colors of the dress didn't help much with that, but he still tried.

A couple minutes later he realized that a finder was following him. He looked at him from the corner of his eye and noticed another joined him. He tried to quicken his pace but stopped when a few of them stepped in front of him. Swallowing hard he tried to leave through the gap, but that was filled by more finders. He backed against the wall and bit his lip as nervousness coursed through his blood.

"So, I heard an interesting little story today kiddo," one of them said. Kanda started to shake as they got closer. Their faces were shaded but their eyes were red and the smiles they had on their faces were demonic. Kanda locked his jaw and pressed down tightly. "You wanna know what I heard?" asked another. A few of them laughed deeply, in other words 'Yes, we do want to know.' Another stepped forward, in front of all the rest and he grabbed Kanda's face roughly before saying loud enough for the group to hear,"I heard you were raped by Tyki."

Kanda's whole world slowed down and came to a stop. The finders words echoed through his head and everytime it got louder and louder. His palms got sweaty and he started to shake all over, his eyes filled with fright and he ever so slowly looked up at the finder. "Why don't we let everyone else in on this little secret?" The other finders nodded and they took off in different directions. Kanda wanted to yell at them, tell them to stop, beg them not to tell anyone, run after them, but he was glued to his spot and no words came out. They were all demons, and he knew now, they truely hated him with all of their beings.

The finder in front of Kanda smiled so darkly that he swore that it was Tyki for just a moment. The finder grabbed Kanda's wrist and pulled on him. Kanda opened his mouth to let out a scream but the finder's hand covered his mouth. He tucked Kanda tightly to him and ran out to the forest. Outside it was raining hard, so hard that Kanda couldn't see anything past five feet in front of him. He was scared, beyond meaning. _What's he gonna do? Is he gonna beat me? Is he gonna rape me? Please god_, _oh please don't let this happen again!_

When the finder thought they were deep enough into the forest he stopped and threw Kanda onto the ground. Kanda pushed himself up on shaky arms and looked down at the dirtied, now see through dress. The finder brought out a piece of rope and put his foot on Kanda, he kicked him back so he was laying on his back. He pushed his foot down on Kanda's chest making him unable to breathe and grabbed the boys hands, tying them together with the rope. "You're going to regret ever being a bastard to any of us," he said sadistically.

Kanda gasped for breath and shook more than before, out of fear and from the coldness of the rain. "I'm not giving you my real name, mostly because if I did you'd rat me out to Komui, so I'll give you another name. Leo. Remember the name, cause you're going to be screaming it." Kanda shook his head fiercly, clumps of mud were mixing in with his hair and it was making his head feel heavy. Leo slapped him hard across the face and threw him onto his stomach. Kanda tried to push himself up on his bound hands but it hurt and the finder kicked him in the stomach so hard that he coughed up blood.

Leo leaned down next to him and smirked,"I hope you're ready for me, cause I can't _wait _to fuck you!" He tore Kanda's dress open from the back and roughly pulled it off his body. He brought out a knife and cut off the undergarments that Kanda was wearing. He looked down at the boy when he was done undressing him fully, the dress, tights, and shoes were thrown into the mud a couple feet away. Kanda was wet, shaking and dirtied by the mud. His eyes were wide in fear and his breaths were coming out in short gasps.

Leo unzipped his pants and pulled out his hard and heavy member. Kanda was shaking from head to toe and he was more scared than ever been in the past few days. Leo got on his knees and grabbed a fistful of Kanda's hair bringing him up to him. He forcefully shoved it into Kanda's mouth and used both hands to force Kanda to take in more of him. Kanda in turn gagged and started to choke, it was deeper than Tyki's had been. Leo didn't even bother to thrust, he just kept it stuck deep in Kanda's mouth. He stopped and let the boy fall back when his eyes started to roll to the back of his head.

On the ground Kanda coughed hard and gasped for air. He clawed his fingers into the mud and tried to pull himself away while still trying to get air. Leo laughed deeply and grabbed Kanda, he turned him over onto his back and lifted his legs so they were on his shoulders. "I hope you're ready for this. Oh wait, of course you aren't!" He aligned himself with Kanda's entrance and thrust in as hard as he could, on purpose. Kanda used the air that he had just gotten back into his lungs to let out a scream that shouted bloody murder.

Giving Kanda no time to adjust, Leo pulled out and thrust back in again, he did it over and over, harder and harder, faster and faster. Kanda kept letting out screams of bloody murder but Leo only laughed. "Ngh, N-no one can hear you! Fuck, why are you so got damned tight!" He leaned forward more and put his hands on both sides of Kanda's head. Kanda yelled out as Leo was deeper this time, and it hurt more.

He gave one final thrust before cumming inside of Kanda. "Ngh! F-Fuck! Ahh!" Leo took a few breaths before pulling out and letting the rain clean him. He stood up, tucked himself into his pants, zipped them up, and left. Kanda rolled onto his side and curled up in a little ball. He didn't bother to move, it hurt too much, his pride was diminished and he was ashamed. Pulling his torn dress up to cover himself he cried himself to sleep in the wet mud, with cold rain pouring down on him.

* * *

**Well there you have it ladies and gents (still hardly doubt if there are any guys reading this, but if there are I approve of you and I applaud you! Go Yaoi!) I really hoped you enjoyed! Oh yeah, and if you don't know about the whole seme uke thing then I'll explain. If you already know skip the paragraph below.**

**In a yaoi couple there are usually two guys, some have more than one but you get my point. Moving on. There is a dominant one, and a submissive one. Dominant is the seme, the one who tops in the relationship, and the submissive one is the uke, the one who is on the bottom. **

**I'm excited for the next chapter myself XD, and I, once again, hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 12 will be up pretty soon I expect. See ya then! -gives all my readers a cookie-**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12- Despair Bestowed Upon The Order

**-cautiously approaches laptop- Hi guys. I'm thinking a lot of you guys are mad at me, some aren't some are. I know Lavi's pissed... -glances at Lavi- **

**Lavi- *is emanating murderous intent at Darxetta***

**Darxetta- *wants to look at laptop but is scared that Lavi might sneak up behind me and kill me***

**Lavi- *glares***

**Darxetta- *quickly looks away* Um, well, here's chapter 12... ^^" Enjoy...**

**Lavi- *grinding teeth* Dis. Claim. Er. **

**P.S. I threw in a special little something at the end, I made a little note when it starts. You don't have to read it, it won't really change anything. **

* * *

After the useless talk with Komui about keeping Kanda's secret a well... secret, Lavi opened the door and walked out feeling a bit of relief wash over him. He looked suspiciously at all of the finders that were running by, some glanced at him, snickered and continued on their ways. It made Lavi feel uneasy, he turned and headed to Kanda's room after a minute of contemplating whether or not he should ask what the finders found so interesting about him.

He kept up his steady pace for a while before Toma, a trusty friend of his and a few other exorcists, bumped into him. Toma looked distraught,"Master Lavi, I have some bad news for you..." Lavi didn't like the tone of his voice, but he followed Toma to the training grounds where he found another group of finders. "What's this all about," he asked cautiously. Toma waved his hand at the group,"We came together. We had nothing to do with the current situation, haven't said anything, told anyone, and we don't even want to be involved."

Lavi frowned and narrowed his eye a bit,"Out with it, Toma." Toma nodded and looked around the room. "A finder found out Master Kanda's uh...secret. He's told a group of finders who have spread out in the Order and told any other person that they could. We've got together as a group and have tried to stop the rumors, but we haven't gotten anywhere. We thought it might be good to talk to an exorcist, or Komui. I was going to see him but ran into you first."

By the time Toma had said that a finder had found out Kanda's secret, Lavi's head had dropped, his hair darkening his eyes. Anger boiled in his blood and he was glad that Toma had personally told him this, tried to stop it, and gotten a group together of the finders who didn't believe it, or didn't want a part of it. Every other finder was going to die. He swore on his grave. "Where's Yu now?" he asked through gritted teeth. He was trying hard not to lash out at one of the finders that stood near him. But they were on his side, so he wouldn't do that.

"We're not sure, we've heard a few rumors that one of the finders was walking with Kanda toward the gate." Lavi turned on his heal and started to head outside, on his way out the training quarter doors he yelled over his shoulder,"I want your group to go to Komui, tell him what happened, and tell him that you're not on the opposing side. I'll be there in a little while." Toma had to swallow hard and keep himself from cowering under the heavily angered tone that came from Lavi. Anger did not suit him well.

Lavi stalked past finders, he pushed some of them, tripped some of them, and one of them he even punched. He walked past one in particular that caught his interest though, he was soaking wet, like he had just...come from outside. Lavi turned and ran up from behind the finder. He body slammed him and wrapped his arm around his neck before tightening and pulling back. The finder gasped for air and clawed at Lavi's arm, the other finders were simply astounded and had no idea what was going on, or what to do.

"Where have you been?" Lavi asked in a menacing tone. The finder clawed more,"O-outside, just got back...from mission..." He desperately clawed for air and Lavi loosened his grip a little bit,"Alright, you're coming with me, then we'll go see Komui and find out what you've really been up to." He stood and stalked toward the main doors of the Order with the finder still choking in tow. By the time they reached the doors Lavi was dragging the finder, he had passed out some time ago so Lavi got a look at the guys face and dropped him in the mud.

Then he began his search, it rained for hours on end, yet Lavi still continued to look. He couldn't tell what time it was, nor did he care. After about five more minutes of looking Lavi noticed that Allen had joined him, then Lenalee, then Marie, then Krory, Komui, Miranda, Bookman, Toma, the other good finders, Jerry, and Tiedoll. He wanted to smile at them, but he was in too much of a foul mood to do so. They searched and searched and searched but none of them found anything.

They were all tired and about to give up and head back inside. Maybe he was inside. Yeah right. Lavi turned away, in his peripheral vision he saw a flash as the lightning struck and white flashed. He turned to see a corner of the dress Kanda was wearing, then he saw the shoes, the tights, then Kanda buried under some mud with his dress pulled on top of him. He ran over with a sick feeling in his stomach and unburied Kanda. His heart sank when he moved the dress and saw Kanda's bruised cheek and stomach. He knew what finder had done this.

Kanda was either asleep, or unconscious, but he was curled into himself and Lavi could see that he was shaking. He pulled of his jacket and covered Kanda with it before slowly tucking his arms under the samurai's legs and his neck. Then he gently lifted him up and held him to his chest. Kanda didn't show any response so Lavi ran back to HQ, somewhere he passed Allen on the way and stopped to tell him to tell everyone else that he and Kanda would be inside at the infirmary.

Lavi didn't bother looking back to see if anyone else was following, he didn't look at any of the finders that he passed on his way in, he didn't stop for anything. He ran straight to the infirmary, slammed open the door with one hand, and called out,"Nurse!" All heads in the room turned to him, some returned to their patients while the free ones ran to him. They had Kanda in their grasp, but Lavi wasn't sure he wanted to let go. After getting a sincere look from the head nurse he released his grasp and leaned against the door frame before sliding down to a sitting position.

He let his arms dangle from their resting position on his knees. He drooped his head and watched the water drip from his red locks to form a small pool on the floor. He was covered in mud and soaked to the bone. Soon Allen and the others came to join him, none of them entered the medical room, but they sat and stood near Lavi. Bookman let out an awkward cough and asked in an almost whisper,"Do you love him, Lavi?" Lavi, surprised by the question, whipped his head up. "W-what?"

Bookman repeated himself,"Do you love him? Kanda I mean." It got awkwardly silent and Lavi wasn't sure what he should say, he looked to Lenalee and gave her a look that pleaded for her to give him advice. The look she gave him was one that said,'It's your choice Lavi. Your love life, not mine...' Lavi looked down and let out a huge sigh before looking up and staring into Bookman's eyes. "Yes, I love Yu." A moment later him, Allen, Lenalee, Krory and the rest of the group busted out laughing. Lavi fell on his side and clutched his stomach because he was laughing so hard.

The laughing stopped when a terrified scream coming from the medical room broke through their fits of laughter. Lavi was the first to respond, jumping up and running in the room. Kanda was sitting up on the bed, a few nurses around it, and he was backing up as far from them as he could. He was shaking his head furiously, crying and trying to push them back. Lavi ran up to the bed and pushed the nurses aside, he reached out for Kanda. But the only response he got was another terrified scream and Kanda backed up so much that he fell of the bed. He curled up in that spot, in the corner of the bed and the wall and slowly rocked himself. He was still dirtied with mud and he cried silently.

Lavi pulled his hand back, feeling scared and hurt. He walked to the foot of the bed and walked to the other side, just enough for him to see Kanda. He looked more scared than he had when they had rescued him from Tyki. It was horrible. That set Lavi off, rage filled his eyes and he quickly walked out of the room. Behind him was an aura that was filled with hate, disgust, and murderous intent. Allen and Lenalee, having sensed this, followed after, trying to stop Lavi from doing anything stupid.

Lavi kept walking, he ignored his friends and when he approached the main doors he saw the finder he had left there starting to wake up. He stalked over with a tight jaw, kicked him in the face as hard as he could and sat with one knee pressed on his chest. He unsheathed the knife from his boot with a growl and held it to the mans throat,"You! It was you! How dare you do such a thing!" The finder cowered and fear entered his eyes,"D-do what! I was just coming back from a mission!" Lavi turned the blade around so the tip was facing him, he punched hard in the face, breaking his nose in the process. Blood started to ooze out of the broken appendage but Lavi didn't care. He pointed the blade at the man again.

"You RAPED him! A child for god's sake! How dare you! And then you start rumors about Tyki raping Kanda!" Allen, who was trying to pull Lavi away from the man, stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes lifted to Lenalee's, who averted her gaze. Allen let go of Lavi, he didn't bother to try and fight him. Tyki had raped Kanda, and now this man. No wonder he was freaked out when the nurses tried to touch him. The finder had glared at Lavi, and anger filled his voice,"Hell, the little shit deserved it after what he's done to us finders. He treats us like shit! I have no respe-" Lavi brought back the blade, Lenalee grabbed it, but Lavi still brought down his fist and bashed in the mans face. He grabbed some of his hair and repeatedly started to slam it down into the floor.

Blood was oozing everywhere and he could faintly hear Allen and Lenalee screaming, Lenalee was crying. He could faintly hear more footsteps and people grabbing and pulling at him, but he continued. Rage coursed through his blood and nothing could stop him, he was going to kill this man and make him suffer for what he had done. He was going to repent! Pay the price! He was going to pay with his life! Lavi heard one call,"LAVI!" and he stopped. He dropped the finder and lifted his head to Kanda. He was standing there, a sheet wrapped around him, wet, shivering, muddy, shaking, and panting. Behind him he could barely make out Kanda's little footsteps. Lavi stood panting and watched with an empty gaze as some nurses dragged the finder to the medical wing.

Kanda stepped back a little and fell on his butt. Lavi took a few deep breaths before looking down at his hands. They had some blood on them, and he felt hot, as if he had been training for hours. Lenalee was crying next to him, Allen had her in a hug, and Kanda was looking away. "I'm sorry Yu... you probably think I'm a monster..." Kanda grunted and Lavi raised his head to him with a frown,"You... a monster...? Hah," a sad look was on his face,"I'm the monster, the one everyone hates, the rape victim, the pathetic weakling who can't defend himself, the exorcist without Innocence, the murderer."

Lavi didn't know what to say, especially to that last line. "What do you mean, murderer?" Kanda, as if he had suddenly realized he had made a mistake shook his head, he stood up on wobbily legs and turned to head back to the medical wing. Lavi took a step toward him, but he cowered. "D-don't...just don't..." Lavi bit his lip feeling hurt again. "I'm sorry...it's not you...it's...everyone..." He sniffled and Lavi understood what kind of position that he was put in. He didn't push Kanda,"How about I follow you then? I just want to make sure you're safe." Kanda nodded, and Lavi thought he looked cute wrapped in that sheet. He wondered how it would be to slide it off of Kanda's shoulders an- no! He couldn't think that way! Kanda had just been raped the night before. He wouldn't push himself onto Kanda, no matter how much he craved him.

Kanda slowly limped back to the infirmary, Lavi wanted to pick him up and hold him close, but he promised that he'd just follow. Some of the finders that they passed by had fanned out and walked around them instead of by them. Lavi felt kind of proud of it, but god, he was becoming too sadistic. Only toward those who had hurt his Kanda though, everyone else he would protect with his dear life. There was one other person that he had to take care of, one that would benefit not only him, but Kanda, and the Black Order. That man happened to go by the name of Tyki Mikk. The one who had started all of this.

Lavi still thought back to what Kanda had said,"the murderer." What had he meant by that? That's all he wanted to know... When they finally got to the infirmary, Lavi stayed stationed at the door, Lenalee and Allen had followed and were now explaining to the others what had happened. He heard an over exaggerated gasp from Miranda and he felt Marie's blind gaze boring into the back of his head. He ignored it, Bookman approached him and Lavi knew what he was going to say. "So you were irritated the other day because you didn't want to hear what I had to say about loving. I knew this would happen some day, but I never thought it would be with Kanda of all people." Lavi chose to ignore him, he didn't want to deal with Bookman and he didn't want to deal with all of the stupid things he had to say about being a Bookman.

He focused on Kanda, who was trying very hard at the moment to not freak out because of the nurses, and drowned out all the voices around him. Tiedoll's broke out through the rest and Lavi jolted at the hand on his shoulder. He turned his gaze to the general,"You better take care of my son, or Tyki won't be the only one dead. You break his heart you have to deal with me and Marie." Lavi shuddered slightly and nodded,"Of course sir, I love your son more than words can say." At this the general smiled and squeezed Lavi's shoulder slightly before letting go.

* * *

Kanda had been allowed visitors, and this time he felt safe with his friends around his bed. He was cleaned and had gotten some more of Bookman's clothes, he despised the dress and didn't care what happened to it. Everyone sat in silence for a while, and Allen was the first to speak,"Kanda, where's Mugen?" The others looked at Kanda, also curious as to what had happened to the famous sword.

"Well...Tyki told me he destroyed it...and I think he's telling the truth. I don't feel a connection with Mugen anymore...but maybe it's just because I'm in a different form of my body?" Komui smiled and stood up proudly,"Kanda, Mugen wasn't destroyed. He was actually found on the night that the crash happened, when you were turned into a child." Kanda looked at Komui hopefully. "Though there was some damage done and it'll have to be repaired, we're working on it but I'm not sure how long it will take." Kanda sighed in relief,"That's alright, I don't care. You have it and that's all that really matters. I can still fight, and I'm still an exorcist." Komui smiled genuinely. Kanda did had his cute moments.

Kanda slept in the infirmary that night, he would be released the next day after check-ups had been done and it was confirmed that he was alright. He was now sound asleep and the moon shone through the window. The others had left to their sleeping quarters but Lavi had stayed behind, like he would leave Kanda alone? Yeah, right. He admired how Kanda's pale skin glowed in the moonlight, his hair soft looking and glinting. His eye lashes seemed longer and his cheeks looked a little puffed out. Lavi wondered if Kanda was dreaming about him. The little samurai shifted in his sleep, letting out a small groan and rolling onto his side to face Lavi.

The red-head took Kanda's hand in his and lifted it gently before dipping his head down and giving the held hand several chaste kisses. A blush crept it's way up Kanda's cheeks and he let out another small groan. Lavi swallowed and folded his arms on the bed, rested his head upon them, and kept his hold on Kanda's hand. Kanda scooted closer to Lavi and he picked up his free arm and draped it over Kanda's waist. Lavi eventually drifted off into sleep and the nurse, who had come to check on Kanda, walked away knowing he was in good hands for the time being.

**The next morning...**

When Lavi awoke he was still sleeping in the same position, only he had a pillow under his head, one arm was hugging it, and his other was still in Kanda's, who was already awake. There was a nurse sitting on the other side asking him questions about how he felt. Lavi listened to his young voice and smiled. When the nurse left he lifted his head and smiled at Kanda, who smiled back. Lavi took a mental picture, it was a smile from Kanda, something that he would never forget, and something he hoped to see more of.

Kanda blushed, Lavi was staring at him and it wasn't that he felt uncomfortable, it was because he didn't know how to react to a look like that. So instead of sitting there blushing like an idiot, he leaned to Lavi and softly pressed his lips to his red-heads forehead. Lavi cupped Kanda's face in his hands and brought him down so they were face to face, Kanda looked a bit unsure but nodded so Lavi leaned forward and kissed him deeply. Kanda let out a small moan and blushed from it. Lavi liking the sound, licked Kanda's lips and when he let out a small gasp, Lavi slipped his tongue in. He swept Kanda's small mouth with his tongue and felt every inch of the wonderfully hot cavern. Kanda blushed deeper and sucked on Lavi's wet appendage, it was hot and kind of sticky but he liked it.

When they broke apart he was panting a little and looked down shyly. Lavi smiled and carefully pulled Kanda to him in a soft hug. Kanda leaned into him and they sat there for a while like that, they only stopped and pulled apart when a nurse came to tell them that Kanda needed to have one more check-up before he could leave. So Lavi sat back in his chair and waited as the nurse took Kanda into the next room to check him out. When they came back the nurse smiled at Lavi and Kanda was already on his way out the door, but he stopped and waited for him to catch up.

Lavi picked Kanda up and said, while smiling,"I love Yu." Kanda blushed again,"I thought I told you to stop making puns with my name." Lavi laughed,"But it's cute." Kanda sent him a soft glare,"Do I look cute to you?" Lavi nodded,"Yes, Yu look very cute!" Kanda growled this time and turned away crossing his arms,"Tch!" Lavi laughed more. Kanda pushed him away. He ended up walking next to Lavi, holding his hand. The hall they were in was quite empty, all of the finders who had turned against Kanda were now having a 'talk with Komui.' That probably wasn't going well. Only a handful of finders had remained on his side, and he vowed that he wouldn't forget them, or let them get hurt.

They made their way to the cafeteria, the nurse had told Kanda that he needed more fattening food to 'get some meat on those bones.' Lavi had laughed, Kanda had scowled, the nurse had pulled his ear, then Kanda laughed. Lavi enjoyed the sound of Kanda's laugh, it was cute and unforgettable, but he couldn't wait to hear how Kanda's real laugh was. Not that this one was fake! Not at all, he mea- oh you get it.

They ordered their food, and they ate with Allen. Kanda, no matter how many times he'd seen it, was still astounded by the amount of food that Allen could eat. He ignored the black hole and ate his own food, and afterwards threw his tray away. Lavi walked up beside him with a comforting smile and nudged his head towards the door. Kanda nodded and they headed up to Lavi's room. Now that he thought about it, Lavi wanted to know what Bookman was going to say back then, when he asked him if he loved Kanda. He hadn't had the chance to reply because they laughed, Kanda screamed, he beat the shit out of that finder, and so on.

Lavi snapped out of his little trance when he felt a tugging on his sleeve, he looked down to find Kanda pulling on him and trying to make his way to the door. Letting out a small laugh he followed and took Kanda's hand in his before the he let go. When they were in the hall Lavi noticed that Kanda was cautiously glancing around. He was secretly happy that Kanda still trusted him, for a minute it seemed like Kanda wouldn't even let Lavi near him. He was guessing it was a precaution, but it still made his stomach sink.

"I changed my mind Lavi, let's not go to the room!" Lavi sent a curious look at the boy and instead of telling Lavi what he had in mind, Kanda started to drag Lavi opposite of the sleeping quarters. "Neh, Yu, your hair is still down," Lavi noted absentmindedly. Kanda looked back at him,"Well, you like it down, right?" The red-head smiled,"Yeah, it makes you look more cute!" Kanda scowled and looked ahead of him with a blush on his face. "Yu, I wanna talk to you about something later alright?" Kanda didn't respond but Lavi knew that he would talk to Kanda whether he liked it or not.

"Yu, where are we going?" Once again Kanda didn't answer, but instead he stopped. They were in front of the training room. "I want to spar with you Lavi," Kanda said turning to look back at the red-head. "Ah, would that be a good idea? I mean, you're still hurt and recovering Yu! I don't want to hurt you!" Kanda scoffed,"Hurt me? Bring it on Lavi." Kanda walked into the training room and Lavi figured that he couldn't say no, so he followed pursuit. They got into position and Lavi wasn't sure what he should do, he didn't want to hurt Kanda in anyway, they just found him for gods sake! He watched as Kanda tie his hair up in the usual hairstyle.

He stood there concentrating on him, as he re-arranged himself to stand in a fighting position. He blinked and Kanda was gone. Next thing he knew he was kicked half way across the room. He tumbled across the mats confused and surprised. Damn! I didn't expect that! He's stronger than I assumed he was! He stood up after regaining his balance and raised his head to Kanda. "That's cheating Yu!"

"Tch, it's not cheating, you just weren't paying any attention. Your fault." Lavi ran at Kanda and lashed out a side kick, which Kanda dodged by doing a backflip. It gave Lavi the opening to throw out a punch. Kanda caught his fist with one hand, using the other to grab ahold of Lavi's arm and give him leverage. He jumped up and round-house kicked Lavi, hitting him in the side of the head and making him tumble to the mats. He got up again and looked at Kanda full of determination. "That won't happen again!" He stood in his fighting position but didn't go for Kanda, he waited instead for Kanda to come to him.

They sparred for a good hour before stopping to take a break and rid themselves of their shirts. Kanda blushed when Lavi took his shirt off, he traced his well toned chest with his eyes and slightly felt emberassed about how small his was compared to Lavi's. Well, at the moment his chest was smaller. But he had a reason for that. Lavi's hair was sticking to his forhead and Kanda thought he looked so much hotter with his hair down. He liked how Lavi had always had it down now.

They sparred more, dodging blows, laying hits, working hard. Kanda was happy that there was no one else around to see them. It would seem akward if there were others watching. Kanda had jumped up and kicked Lavi in the chest and as the red-head fell back he pulled Kanda with him. The samurai ended up sitting on Lavi's chest, his hands on his pecs and both of them panting heavily. They were full of sweat and it was hot in the room. Lavi gently pulled Kanda down to him and pressed his lips to his in a deep kiss. Kanda, quite surprised by this, didn't kiss back momentarily.

-Yaoi Scene-

When he did the kiss became more heated and needy. Closing his eyes, Kanda leaned more onto Lavi, he ran his hands over his chest getting the feel of the muscles Lavi had. Lavi wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist, pulling him to him he sat up. Kanda settled in his lap, his legs around Lavi's waist and his hands clutching to his shoulders. Lavi pulled away from the kiss and trailed butterfly kisses up Kanda's jaw, down his neck, where he began to suckle. Kanda moaned slightly and closed his eyes.

Lavi smirked at the hickey he left on Kanda, licking hit he made his way down to Kanda's small nipples. He drew one into his mouth, circling his tongue around in and bringing one hand down to play with the other. Kanda let out another moan and wrapped his arms around Lavi's head, holding onto small tufts of Lavi's hair. His face heated up and could feel Lavi's hardness pressing against him. Lavi switched and Kanda arched into him slightly, urging him to do more. The red-head, now encouraged, sat on his knees and lay Kanda down softly on the mats.

"Are you sure, Yu? We don't have to, not if you aren't ready." Kanda shook his head,"I-I want it..." Lavi watched him for a moment, waiting to see if he'd change his mind, but when he saw no sign that that was going to happen, he moved down leaving a trail of kissed down the ravenettes chest and stomach. He stopped at his pant line and looked up at Kanda once again, when he nodded he slowly pulled down the pants along with the undergarments he was wearing. He tugged them all the way off and tossed them aside. He sat back on his heals and marvled the way Kanda looked. Sweaty, naked, blushing profoundly, his now down hair thrown messily around him, his legs slightly spread and his member hardened. Lavi had to shift to fix the discomfort that was in his pants.

Kanda sat up, leaning back on his hands, his legs slightly bent at the knee. Lavi leaned forward and kissed him softly, he brought his hand down to take ahold of Kanda's hardened length, slowly pumping it in his fist. Kanda let out a strangled moan into Lavi's mouth and closed his eyes tighlty. Lavi gently lay Kanda back, he gave him little nips as he made his way down to Kanda's stomach where he stopped. He withdrew his hand and replaced it with his mouth. A sharp gasp escaped Kanda and he turned his head to the side, his eyes closed tightly and his blush deeper.

Lavi sucked, wrapping his tongue around it as much as he could, bobbing his head. Kanda was writhing slightly underneath him and had opened his mouth to get air. His breath was becoming ragged and heavy, he had unconsiously grabbed a fist-full of Lavi's hair, pushing down, wanting more. Lavi obliged, taking all of him in, and using his free hand to fondle the tightened sacs under Kanda's occupied member.

"L-lavi ngh! Ahh! I f-feel a pressure in my stomach! W-what is it? Ahh!" Lavi ignored the question and dipped his tongue into the slit at the head. Kanda let out another moan and Lavi bobbed his head a few more times before Kanda called out his name and came into his mouth. He didn't swallow it, but kept it all in his mouth. Kanda had released his grip on Lavi's hair, his body slack and relaxed now, his blush redder than ever before, his breathing heavy and uneven. Lavi sat back with Kanda in his lap, holding onto him, and kissed him deeply, pushing his tongue into Kanda's mouth and letting his cum mix with their saliva as their tongues battled for dominance.

-End-

When Lavi thought Kanda had tasted himself well enough he pulled back, some of the cum and saliva connecting from their tongues before breaking and making a trail down Kanda's mouth. Lavi lapped it up and kissed Kanda momentarily. "Mmh, that was good, you taste good, Yu." Kanda turned his gaze away, the blush still visible on his face,"T-that was... uncalled for..." Lavi laughed slightly. "You liked it, right?" Kanda put his arms on Lavi's shoulders, linking his hands behind his head, and nodded. "I was kind of nervous at first...but I really liked it..."

Lavi smiled again and kissed Kanda's forhead. "Let's get you dressed." Kanda nodded and they both stood, Kanda hiding behind Lavi as he re-dressed himself. They made their way out of the training room, completely unaware of a certain comrade that was there the entire time. "That was definately something I didn't expect to see..."

* * *

**Well, there was chapter 12~! Hope you enjoyed! How did I do on the yaoi scene? For those of you that read it... / I hope it wasn't bad, that would be so emberassing. I'm not really good at writing yaoi scenes! Or battle scenes either. I guess I'm okay but I get nervous and then I'm like,"Oh my god! Are the readers gonna like this! !" But, I guess I can only get better by writing right? Or typing as it were. Anyway I seriously hope you enjoyed.**

**Lavi- *Glomps Darxetta* **

**Darxetta- O.o! **

**Lavi- I'm happy with you now! You let me give Kanda a blow job!**

**Darxetta- Lavi! /**

**Lavi- What! It's true~!**

**Kanda- *looking away blushing***


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13- Never Alone

**Hello readers~! Sorry it took so long, I was busy with school and what not.**

**Lavi- Liar**

**Darxetta- Wha? No!**

**Kanda- Who cares Lavi, the story goes on, leave her be**

**Darxetta- Thank you Kanda, just for that I'm going to do something nice for you. Well, I see it as nice thing but you might not**

**Kanda- ...now I'm worried**

**Darxetta- Don't be worried! Lavi disclaim~!**

**Lavi- Darxetta doesn't own anything!**

**Darxetta- Sadly no, but on with the story, hope you enjoy~!**

The next few days passed by quickly, and Kanda felt better and better. He could freely roam the halls without having a panic attack. Though he was still quite nervous. He and Lavi had been sparring once or twice everyday and Kanda took note that he was growing. He noticed that this morning, when he went to change, that Bookman's clothes didn't fit him. They were...well smaller.

"Lavi," Kanda said as he shook Lavi's shoulders. "Lavi, wake up!" The red-head groaned and rolled over, facing away from Kanda.

"Tch."

So Kanda crawled over Lavi, sat against the wall, placed his feet on Lavi's stomach, and pushed. Lavi rolled over a few times before actually falling off the bed with a yelp. He sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes before looking at Kanda confused. "You wouldn't get up, I had to do something."

"Wha' do ya need me up fer, Yu?" he asked tiredly.

"I need clothes."

"Ya have, clothes. I got ya all kindsa Bookman's clothes."

"They don't fit; they're too small, baka."

Lavi tilted his head slightly, "Are you growing, Yu?"

Kanda shrugged and got off the bed, he looked down at his clothes, the shirt was tight and so was the pants, but the pants went higher than his ankles, and he shifted uncomfortably. "I don't have anything else to wear."

Lavi yawned and stretched,"Alright, I'll ask Lena to make ya somethin' to wear."

"No dresses!"

Lavi thought about laughing, but decided not to. The last time Kanda wore a dress something bad happened, and Lavi almost killed him. He should have... No, it would be better if the man rotted in a gay prison. Which he was. Hopefully.

"Alright, no dresses." Lavi sat studying Kanda; he seemed to be acting more like himself and it kind of disheartened Lavi.

Kanda glared at him, "C'mon! I don't wanna wear this thing all damn day! It's uncomfortable and tight!"

Lavi laughed this time, _He's acting more like himself, but he's saying things he wouldn't normally say._

He got up and stretched again, "You're gonna need to come with me, so Lenalee can get your measurements." Kanda frowned slightly before nodding his head and urging the red-head to leave, "Let's go already!"

"Fine, but change into what you were sleeping in before so you're not as uncomfortable." Lavi waited outside as Kanda changed; when he was done they headed off.

As they walked down the hall Kanda stood next to Lavi, not as close as he usually had, but he still kept close. He looked up at the red-head, he looked comfy, his hands behind his head, a thoughtful look on his face, and he didn't seem to be in a hurry, which kind of pissed Kanda off. He let it pass though.

When they reached their destination Lavi lightly tapped on Lenalee's door. When she opened he said a quick, "Morning," before asking to be let in. Once they were inside Kanda looked around, _This is my first time being in Lenalee's room..._

"Lena I need a favor, ya see, Yu don't fit in Bookman's clothes anymore and we don't have anything for him to wear."

"So you want my help right?"

Lavi nodded and laughed, "Yeah, you can make clothes and all that stuff! He's still in his pajamas though."

"I didn't know he had pajamas."

"They're mine, so they're pretty big on him."

Lenalee let out her own laugh as she glanced behind Lavi to look at Kanda, standing with his arms crossed, shirt sleeves rolled up, pants dragging under his feet, and a slight scowl on his face.

"It looks like he's returning to normal."

Looking back at Kanda, Lavi nodded. "Yeah, he seems to be more irritated, and when we spar he's more troublesome."

"You guys spar?"

"Of course, once a day."

"How has Bookman handled all of this?"

Lavi didn't know what to say, so he went with a shrug for his answer. "I haven't seen him since that day I almost killed that finder. That was the last time we talked."

Lavi ran a hand through his hair. Kanda shifted uncomfortably, "Can we hurry up?"

"Yeah, have a seat Lavi while I measure Kanda." Lavi made himself comfy on the bed while Lenalee went into her bathroom to gather up the supplies she needed.

Kanda took a quick glance at Lavi, who was staring at the window, before bringing his attention to Lenalee who exited the bathroom. She pulled out measuring tape and got his measurements. "Alright, if you wait about a half hour I'll have your clothes ready Kanda!"

He nodded and looked at Lavi again. _What's he thinking about? It's like he's staring off into space..._

Since Lavi was occupied Kanda sat cross legged on the floor. He closed his eyes and positioned his hands on top of his knees. Within moments he drowned out his surroundings as he entered his meditation mode.

Lavi nodded off on the bed, falling over and closing his eyes. Kanda didn't notice, and Lenalee was too busy making Kanda something to wear. When she finished she turned to happily announce that she was done, only to come to realize that Lavi was asleep and Kanda in deep meditation. Not knowing what to do she left the clothing on the desk, quietly got up, and left the room.

**Noon...**

Lavi sat up startled, having a nightmare about Kanda being kidnapped, again. Kanda was standing beside the bed, looking concerned with a slight scowl on his small face.

He pulled Kanda to him, hugging, and holding him tight. He held him for a long time, until he realized that Kanda was pushing him away.

"Lavi dammit, let go! My limbs are going numb!" Lavi released Kanda then.

"Sorry, Yu." Kanda ignored him. "I'm going to change, Lenalee finished a long time ago..." Lavi waited once again while Kanda changed. He looked around the room. "Hm, it's really different from Yu's room. Clean, fresh air, everything Yu's room isn't."

"I heard that," came from the other side of the bathroom door. Lavi laughed amused. "Love Yu!"

"Tch."

Kanda exited the bathroom, more suiting clothing on. They both left the room, glancing around warily, hoping Komui didn't see them come out of Lenalee's room, even though she wasn't there.

Footsteps were heard behind them, and when Kanda turned to see who it was, his blood stopped running, his heart raced, and he felt shaky. "N-no way..."

Lavi turned to see who it was, only to find out that he didn't know. He looked at Kanda. "Yu?" Kanda ignored Lavi's call to him and proceeded to stare at the upcoming 'guest'.

The man stopped about two feet away from Lavi and Kanda. He smiled genuinely. "It's been a long time since we've seen each other."

Kanda stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. He opened his mouth to talk but no words came out. Lavi looked at Kanda, then at the man, and back at Kanda. "Yu, what is it?"

Kanda didn't respond, not knowing what to say or even if he could say anything at all. So instead, he ran in the opposite direction they came from. He didn't look back while he ran. He didn't know if he could stand to.

Lavi was utterly confused as he turned his attention back to the man that had frightened of his love. "And who might you be?" he asked slightly irritated.

The man smile genuinely, his short hair spiking to the side and going flat at the top, a dark mark marked across the bridge of his nose. "My name is Alma and I'm Yu's best friend."

Lavi narrowed his eye, "His best friend? Since when?" The so called Alma ignored Lavi's question and stalked past him looking for Kanda.

Irritated, Lavi turned to the man and grabbed his arm. Alma stopped and faced Lavi before pushing him against the wall and restraining him. "I saw what you did to Yu in the training room…" Lavi's eye widened and he turned red, a blush covering his face.

"I swear to whatever god may be out there that if you hurt him I will kill you with my own two hands," Alma whispered quietly, his voice like ice, heavy and cold. Lavi swallowed uncomfortably, "You do anything to me right now and Yu will hate you for life."

Alma released him and smiled, "I'll keep that in mind, now if you don't mind, I haven't seen him in a long time, would you mind showing me where his room is?"

Lavi wasn't sure if he approved of Alma, but he gave a slight nod and led the way to Kanda's room. While they walked Lavi kept an eye on Alma, not trusting him yet. "How'd you meet Yu?" Alma was looking around the, taking in his surroundings, "I knew Yu since he was nine, we were always together."

Once they got to the room Lavi told Alma to wait outside. He opened the door slowly and took a peak in side, but the room was empty. He shut the door. "Yu didn't seem like he wanted to see or talk to you, so why should I take you to him?" He faced Alma.

"I think he was just surprised that's all," he said with true happiness. Now that Lavi took notice Alma seemed jumpy, excited like he had uncontainable energy. A huge smile was plastered on his face and his hands folded behind his head.

"You seem really happy, why is that?" Lavi folded his arms across his chest. "Well wouldn't you be excited to see your best friend after nine years?" His smile faltered and he looked saddened as memories of the past flooded his mind. Pushing them back he smiled again and spun on his heal.

"Come on! I wanna see Yu!" Lavi sighed and heaved his shoulders. "Alright, but I dunno where he is, so we're gonna have to look around the Order."

Alma nodded uncaringly. "I don't care, I just wanna see him!"

**Meanwhile…**

Kanda wedged himself in the deepest corner of the training room. He pulled his knees to his chest and hid his head between his knees. "I don't believe it…I can't believe it…" He shook his head and looked up biting down on his lip.

White hair came into his view, and then he saw the last person that he expected to see. Allen. "Kanda what are you doing?" Kanda turned his head away, "Nothing…"

"That's a lie."

"So what if it is?"

"So tell me what you're doing."

"I'm hiding."

"From?"

"Someone that I don't wanna talk to."

"Who would that be?"

"Someone that you don't know."

"Tell me and I might know."

"You won't."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because he should have died nine years ago."

Allen didn't know how to reply to that. He sat back on his heels and pulled Kanda to him, embracing him in a hug. "Does it matter whether or not he should have died? He's here now isn't he?" Kanda closed his eyes thinking about what Allen said.

_It's true right? What does it matter? He's here now…and…I actually miss him…_

Allen released Kanda and held his shoulders firmly. "What are you still doing here? Go find him!" He stood Kanda p and lightly pushed him towards the training rooms exit. Kanda looked back at him uncertainly. Allen gave him a smile and waved his hands to the door ushering Kanda out. Reluctant, Kanda left the training room and looked both ways in the hall.

"Even if I were to look for him, I have no idea where to start! The Order is too big for someone my size to search for someone…well his size…"

Shrugging Kanda headed off to the cafeteria hoping that his friend was there, tired of looking and hoping for a meal. That and he hadn't had breakfast, or lunch. Kanda sighed at the cafeteria's entrance, looking around and not finding who he was looking for. Deciding to skip lunch he headed off to search the lounge.

This time he scowled at the empty lounge room. He turned in anger and slammed into someone, falling on his butt. "Watch where you're going dumbass," he said as he glanced up. "Well that's not very nice Yu."

Kanda swallowed, "…Alma…"

Alma smiled down at him and leaned down sliding his hands under Kanda's arms to stand him up. "Not that I mind right now, but why are you so small Yu? Haven't you grown at all?"

Kanda glared, "Listen smartass, this was a mistake! I'm perfectly fine!"

Alma laughed. Behind them Lavi shifted his weight from one foot to the other consistently, feeling tense and anxious.

"Yu…"

Kanda peaked behind Alma to see Lavi. "What?" The redhead walked over to the pair, "You haven't introduced us yet."

_I bet they've already talked…bastard just wants me to say it out loud!_

"I'm sure you've got that down already."

Lavi shook his head, "No, no, we haven't been introduced." Alma and Lavi were smiling mischievously and Kanda felt his blood boil. Great, now he had two idiots to worry about.

"Lavi this is Alma, my best friend and sort of brother…"

"Sort of?"

"Shut up, I could have just said best friend."

Alma shook his hands back and forth with an innocent smile, "No that's fine."

"Anyway," Kanda continued, "Alma this is Lavi my-"

"Lover," Lavi cut in bluntly.

Kanda turned to him, red in the face, and with a full glare. Alma's smile didn't falter, but he gave Lavi a warning glare and returned to his happy state before Kanda could notice.

"Yeah, lover, whatever."

"Yu! I love Yu!"

Kanda blushed more, if possible and crossed his arms turning away from the two idiots. "There you've been introduced, what more do you want?"

"I want Yu."

Ignoring Lavi, Kanda turned his attention to Alma. "Alma, how…is this possible?"

Alma sat on the nearest seat, becoming serious and somewhat distraught. "How is what possible?"

"You being here… If I recall correctly…I…killed you…"

Lavi, surprised, looked back and forth between the friends. "Yeah, you killed me a lot of times Yu…but that never stopped me from regenerating."

Kanda closed his eyes to take in a deep breath. "And here I thought I was all alone…the last one of the Second Exorcists."

Alma let out a small laugh and shook his head slowly. He pulled Kanda to him, hugged him and rested his head on the small shoulders.

"No Yu, you're never alone…"

**Dun dun dun! Dramatic effect~ Woot! Alma! =D **

**Anyway, there's chapter 13. Hope you liked it, and it took a long time for me to write it cuz I kept getting stuck and lost and what not ,. Oh well, review please~ **

**Oh yeah! Remember the scene in the training room with the yaoi? Review or send me a message and let me know you thought it was~! I'd like to know~**

**Kanda- T~T now I have two idiots to worry about**

**Lavi- I'm not an idiot**

**Kanda- That's an understatement **

**Alma- Yu! –hugs Kanda-**

**Kanda- Get off me Alma! **

**Alma- I missed Yu!**

**Kanda- Enough with the puns!**

**Lavi- Only I can use puns on Yu!**

**Darxetta- -steps away from the crazy people- ^^**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14- War and Betrayal

**Heeeeelllloooooo readers~! I do hope you liked the last chapter! Oh! And I'm terribly sorry for not putting that stupid…under line thingy whenever something different was going on! I keep forgetting that I have to edit that on to do that…so sorry! I'll try and remember this time!**

**Lavi- We'll see how that goes**

**Alma- Why are you being so mean?**

**Lavi- To **_**who?**_

**Darxetta- To Alma!**

**Lavi- I don't like him.**

**Alma- Well I don't like you**

**Kanda- Shut up! Both of you!**

**Darxetta- Disclaimer! I'm afraid that Alma and Lavi might start fighting if I asked one of them to do it…so yeah. I don't own anything, we all know this, ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

After the little incident with Alma, Kanda took off with Lavi, hoping to relieve some of his stress by sparring with the red-head more.

"You alright Yu?"

"Yeah, I'm just a bit stressed out that's all… You don't seem to be getting along with Alma… and he's the same. Plus I'm stressing out about how he's here and why he's here and what we're gonna do now that he's freaking _here_!" Kanda pressed his thumbs to his temples and made a circular motion to calm himself down.

"Well that's a lot of stress for such a little person," Lavi said concealing his smile.

Kanda stopped walking. He bit down into his lip, hard, and continued on, doing his best to ignore the red-head.

"C'mon Yu, how is such a little thing like you supposed to hold all of that stress? It's like trying to make a child president!"

"Don't make fun of my size!"

"But I like your size! You're fun sized!"

"I swear Lavi if you keep this shi-" Kanda couldn't finish his sentence. Before him Lavi sat on his knees, pulling Kanda to him and kissing him deep. The samurai blushed and felt heat rush up to his face. When Lavi pulled away, a smile on his face, Kanda was slightly confused and couldn't even remember why he was mad, sad, stressed, whatever, in the first place.

He turned away from Lavi crossing his arms. "Are we gonna do this or not?"

"Well, I was hoping that I could have a little bit of you…"

"Lavi!"

"Hahahaha I'm kidding!"

"You so were not!"

Lavi smirked sexily towards Kanda, "You know me so well Yu."

"Don't mess around like that!"

"Why not? I could mess up your hair while we're at it."

Kanda stomped away, tired of Lavi's games.

"Yu! I'm kidding!" Lavi yelled as he ran after his angry little samurai.

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am!"

Lavi crept up behind Kanda, slid his hands under his arms, wrapped his arms around Kanda's small chest, and pulled the little angry samurai to his chest.

Kanda frowned and let Lavi hold his weight. "I really was kidding my love," Lavi whispered in Kanda's ear. Kanda shuddered, the warm breathe of Lavi's whisper tickling his ear and sending shivers down his body.

"Alright, I believe you…"

Lavi smiled and stuck his tongue out, swirling it in Kanda's ear and trailing it down to his neck. "Lavi…don't…"

The red head ignored him and suckled on Kanda's neck leaving a small yet noticeable mark on his neck. Kanda places his arms over Lavi's, gripping his shirt and leaning his head to the side to give his red head more room. Lavi smiled, licked his mark, and left a trail of small kisses from his neck up to Kanda's cheek.

"I love Yu."

Lavi slid his hand down to Kanda's chest, trailed down lower to his stomach, and just as he was about to go a bit lower Alma walked in.

"Hey guys!"

Lavi stopped frozen, Kanda narrowed his eyes.

"Excuse you, but we're quite busy," Lavi pressed.

"Busy with what?" Alma asked stupidly.

"Don't start this crap Alma! You know exactly what," Kanda murmured irritated.

Lavi raised his lowered arm and picked Kanda up. "Me and my little samurai have business to attend to, so if you'll excuse us then we'll be on our way."

Ignoring Lavi, Alma walked right up to him, took Kanda from his grasp, and walked off with a confused chibi and a pissed of usagi.

Lavi stood frozen for a moment, unsure of what he should do. "Oh hell no! You did not just take Yu away from me!" he shouted after the disappeared duo.

* * *

"Alma what the hell do you think you're doing?" Kanda asked irked.

"I'm hanging out with Yu!"

"Don't use puns!"

"I haven't seen you in nine years and you're always with that guy!"

"He's my-"

"Lover?"

Kanda shut his mouth, unsure if that was true.

"Well…I don't know if we're that far yet…"

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I do!"

"Does he love you?"

"He tells me he does…"

"Then that makes you lovers, right?"

"I guess it does."

Alma smiled and hugged Kanda to him. "I've missed Yu so much! I'm glad that we get to work at the same place now!"

Kanda sighed. "I guess I'm glad that you're back too."

He became confused once more as he was suddenly lifted into the air and slung over someone's shoulder. He looked down, seeing Lavi's uniform and his Hammer's base placed on the ground, the handle extended.

"Yu's mine! So back off you happy freak!"

Alma turned to face Lavi, his brow furrowed and his mouth down in a frown. "I've known Yu longer than you have, so he's mine."

"Lavi put me down."

"Does Yu love you like he loves me? I think not. So he's mine."

"Were you there when Yu was 'born'? I think not. So he's mine."

"Have you ever been on a mission with Yu? I think not. So he's mine."

"Did you save Yu's life? I think not. So he's mine."

"HEY!"

Stunned by the sudden outburst Lavi and Alma went instantaneously quiet.

"Put me down, right now."

Lavi jumped down from his Hammer and placed Kanda on the ground.

"Now that I have solid ground under my feet…"

The samurai raised both his hands to the pair of idiots, he gestured for both of them to come close. When both were in reaching distance, Kanda placed his hands on the backs of their heads, and slammed them together.

They both fell to the ground, holding their heads, whining, and writhing in minor pain.

"Let me set this straight, for both of you. I am NOT either of yours! I am my own got damned person and I'll do whatever the hell I want you understand? If you don't like it then I'll just have to kick both of your asses."

Lavi and Alma sat up, holding their heads. "Do you hear me!"

"Yes we hear you!"

"Yup!"

The both looked at each other, a sweat drop rolling down the backs of their heads.

"You guys are doing it all wrong," Lenalee said suddenly, surprising the group, from behind the two idiots on the floor.

"Hey Lenalee."

"Doing what wrong?"

"Who's she?"

"I'm Lenalee, who are you?"

"I'm Alma, Kanda's best friend and brother."

"Incest…" Lavi murmured under his breath.

Kanda slipped of his shoe and threw it at him, hitting his target in his head. "Shut up."

"So what are we doing wrong Lenalee?"

"If you're gonna fight over Kanda then you have to do it right!" She raised her hand and spread her fingers out.

Kanda walked over to Lavi, grabbed his shoe, and slid it back on, then turned to listen to what Lenalee had to say.

"First of all, you have to confess," she put her first finger down, "And since Lavi's already done that he's ahead. Second of all, you have to be there for him all the time," she put her second finger down, "Lavi's still ahead because he's always here. Third you have to buy him gifts," she put down her third finger, "and since neither of you have done that you both fail. Fourth you have to make love and or have some sexual relation with him," by now Kanda had drowned them out and had begun to walk away. Lenalee put down her fourth finger, "Lavi's still in the lead, and last of all you have to get married to him."

Kanda stopped mid-step frozen, Lavi and Alma turned to stone, both cracking slightly, not knowing what to say or do. Kanda slowly turned his head to Lenalee. "What did you say?"

"I said you have to get married."

"Woah…woah woah woah! That's going a little WAY too far!"

"Why do you say that?"

"We're eighteen! Why the hell are we gonna get married so damn soon!"

Lenalee shrugged. "That's a good question, but then again, you don't have to necessarily get married right now."

Kanda heaved a sigh, he turned and ran from the crazy people that were attacking him with crazy ideas and antics.

Lavi and Alma broke out of their trance. "Damn, you're three points ahead of me, but I won't give up Lavi! I will win Yu's heart!"

"His heart is already mine, he gave it to me."

"Then I'll just have to steal it from you!"

Lenalee heaved a love sigh, "Kanda's so lucky to have such great and loving guys fighting for him. But then again he's not so lucky, cause of Tyki."

Lavi, in his happy mood, stopped dead in his tracks, his smile falling to a frown, his head drooping, his hair covering his eyes, and his aura becoming darkened.

Alma, confused, tilted his head. "Whose Tyki?"

"Uh… no one," Lenalee uttered, guessing that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell Alma.

Lavi lifted his head, a smile present on his face again, his aura brightened. "You're right Lena! Tyki is nobody, even though I'm still gonna kill him."

"Not if I kill you first."

"If you did that then Yu would be sad and hate you."

"Haven't we already had this conversation?"

"Well we're having it again."

"Why?"

"I don't know, because we are."

"Says who?"

"Says me!"

"Why you?"

"Stop asking questions!"

"Why?"

"Because it's irritating!"

"Why?"

"Because you talk to much!"

"Why?"

" Because you keep asking questions!"

"Why?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Wh-" Lavi whacked Alma on the head with his Hammer, not hard enough to hurt him, but hard enough to get him to shut the hell up.

He rubbed his head, poking at the large bump, "You're cruel Mr. Usagi."

Lavi ignored the nickname and got up. "I gotta go find Yu."

"I will first!" Alma announced as he happily jumped to his feet.

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea you guys," Lenalee announced.

"Why not?"

"I just think he needs some alone time."

"Why do you think that?"

"Trust me Lavi, I'm a girl, I understand how Kanda's feeling. So just give him some time to himself alright?"

Lavi nodded, "I will."

Alma sighed feeling misplaced among Lavi and Lenalee. He looked off in the direction Kanda had run off in. _Perhaps he does not want me here… he never did like me before… and Lavi and I are always arguing over him. Kanda must be tired of it, tired of me. _

Alma decided then that he would leave the Black Order forever, leave Lavi and Kanda to be lovers and to be happy.

While the two were emerged in conversation, Alma slipped away into the shadows. He crept in them and kept his footsteps quiet.

"Where are you going?"

Alma stopped, he looked back at Kanda, standing there with a sad look on his face, his eyes downcast and his small hands clenched into fists.

"I just wanted to go outside for some air, that's all," he lied.

Kanda turned his head, "Why do you want to leave? I've only just got you back…"

Alma's heart skipped a beat, "What do you mean?"

"You can't possibly think I don't miss you Alma, it's been nine years since we last saw each other…"

"You've always hated me Yu, why would you change?"

"People change Alma," Kanda said as he looked down to the ground, where he dug his heal into the ground.

"We're not normal people Yu."

"I know we're not… but that's just more reason for us to be different, to change over time. Alma when I tried to leave, I couldn't stand the idea of leaving you behind. But when I saw you standing there, and everyone else dead…I knew I had to end your suffering…"

Alma swallowed hard unaware of what to say.

Kanda looked up at him, a deep sadness in his eyes, "If you want to leave, I'm not going to stop you, "he said as he turned to leave.

Alma smiled, holding onto Kanda to stop him from leaving, "No Yu, I don't want to leave."

Kanda smiled, internally Alma blushed, outwardly he let out a smile of his own.

Subconsciously he lifted Kanda's face to his own, and leaned down, kissing him.

Behind them, Lavi shifted in the shadows. He quietly crept away from Alma and Kanda, his heart broken and racing, and tears threatening to spill over.

Kanda froze, his mind becoming blank, his heart racing with surprise. Alma pulled back, a slight blush on his face. He swallowed uncomfortably, "I-I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me!"

Kanda shook his head, not knowing what to say. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt as if something terrible had just happened. But the kiss that Alma had given him had meant nothing.

Unfortunately, Lavi didn't know that.

He had walked off, full of anger and hurt. He didn't know what he should do so he went to Lenalee with a sudden plan in mind. It was either going to be the best or the worst thing that he had ever done in his life. Probably the worst, but at the moment, he didn't care to think, he was too hurt to.

"Lenalee."

"Did you find them, Lavi?"

"Yeah, I found them."

* * *

Kanda turned away from Alma, and walked back to the room they were in before, behind him Alma followed suit.

When they entered the room, Kanda's heart sunk, hit rock bottom. Before his eyes Lavi had Lenalee in his arms, his lips pressed tightly against her own.

Tears immediately came to his eyes, spilled over as his heart raced with pain at his feet. When Lavi released her, her eyes widened as she saw him standing at the door.

"K-Kanda…"

Lavi turned to him quickly, seeing the pain in Kanda's eyes.

He opened his mouth to speak, only to realize that he had no idea what to say.

Kanda turned, bumped into a surprised Alma, and held onto him tightly. Alma picked him up, no words needed and walked away with Kanda crying on his shoulder.

Lavi became angered, and walked after the two, he surged right up and grabbed Alma's shoulder, turning him to face Lavi. The red head brought his hand back and punched him in the face, using all of the strength he had.

Alma dropped Kanda, and slammed into the wall, creating a large hole. Debris fell and smoke clouded the area.

Kanda turned to face Lavi, shaking harshly, afraid, and hurt.

"Why, Yu?" Lavi had asked.

Kanda shook his head, not understanding.

"Why did you kiss him!"

Alma pulled himself out of the hole.

"He didn't kiss me, I kissed him, and it meant nothing. It was just a spur of the moment kind of thing. But why did _you _kiss Lenalee?"

Lavi realized the extent of the mistake he made. "I…I did it because…Yu kissed…you…and…I thought…"

"You _thought_?"

Alma dusted himself off, and walked back over to Kanda. He was scratch free, like he had never been thrown or hit into the wall.

"I thought he cheated on me…"

"It was a harmless kiss."

Kanda stood up. "It didn't mean anything…"

"I'm sorry Yu…"

"Sorry doesn't cut it. You betrayed him," Alma said, glaring at Lavi.

The word played over and over again in Lavi's mind.

_Betrayed. _

* * *

**Well there you have it, chapter 14. What do you think? I hope you liked it. This one didn't take as long as I thought it would. I'm also going to start another fanfiction, probably no pairings, just a comedy. Anyway let me know what you think ^^**

**Kanda- T~T**

**Alma- Yu…**

**Lavi- -destroyed-**

**Kanda- I don't know what to do…**

**Lavi- How could you do this Darxetta!**

**Darxetta- Don't worry, I have a plan…**


End file.
